LADIES PLEASE HELP! Guy with a girl problem.

[bummedout]

I've been with my girlfriend for over a year now and things between us are wonderful. She's a great catch and I'm truly lucky to have her and I treat her as such. We both complement one another very well and really love each other but have been having intimacy problems as of late. Though I've tried countless times and have done literally everything in the book to try to spark the mood between us we haven't had sex in almost 5 months. I know, kill me right. As far as career, looks, body, income, background, friends, education, etc. go, we are nearly identical. I've never strayed nor has she; and I don't have any intentions of doing so. But, I am having a hard time coping with this problem now as she does not feel a need to try to address it. We are both very fortunate individuals in that we've been able to date anybody we've wanted to up to this point; and I've really struggled to continue fighting for my girlfriend's affection lately as several other women have approached me romantically.

 

We sat down and spoke about the problem again this past weekend and she said she just hasn't felt as attracted to me as she has before. She told me she loves me though and loves our life together and just needs time to work through this. I've given her 5 months though and have been very understanding and nothing has improved. I suggested we break up (though that would destroy me) because I want her to be with someone who makes her happy both emotionally and physically. She said she wants to make it work and couldn't imagine life without me. That being said, I just don't know anymore if I am barking up the wrong tree and if this is a problem that cannot be remedied. If we could rekindle the romance I would love to stay with her and continue to grow as a couple, but I can't keep fighting to keep someone who isn't attracted to me anymore. I don't know if anybody has gone through something similar to this but any advice would be tremendously appreciated.

[xtiarax]

My post will not help as i have not experienced this but i thought i would try.

 

Are you sure that she is not seeing someone else? How can you be so sure of this? People say that they are not and sometimes are very good liars in doing so. If she is not attracted to you how can she love you? Does she love you as a friend and does not want the sexual side of things anymore. 5 months is a long time to need to work on it and if there is still a problem then i think that maybe you are best off close friends as being together and not showing each other how much you love each other is not what couples do. Maybe you both should seek help from proffessionals who deal with couples who go through this as they can see what the problem is and she may say the real reason why this is happening. If you do not sort this out soon it will lead you a very difficult situation, i think you should really try and tell her that you have been pateint and understanding of the problem but you do need to sort this out, if she really loves you she will do it, as if you love someone you will do anything for them right?

[DN]

She is behaving like this because she feels she can with no consequences. I think the best thing for you to do is to tell her that a sexless relationship is not going to work for you and that she either needs to find out what is the problem (alone or together) or you will move on.

 

Don't let this issue go unresolved any longer. Five months is already too long. At the moment you are not lovers but roommates.

[duppy_conqueror]

'At the moment you are not lovers but roommates'

 

yup i agree. sounds like this is becoming a friendship... shes not attracted to you in a sexual way anymore. that happens in r'ships. maybe start with small acts of intimacy to show her you love her.