How Should I Interpret This?

[SunshinySpotlessMind]

Okay, so, long story short: I went to a little get together the other night with some friends who were invited because they're part of a school club and I tagged along some. Guy friend I've liked for ages, and have written about on here to clearly no end yet, is one of the friends I went with. We talked a little here and there at the party. He moved over to a different spot on the deck we were sitting on and I hung back some to talk to someone. I ended up moving so I could be closer to him and another friend and when i sat down he said I made the correct move because his side of the deck is the right side. Then a little while later because I'd had a little tiny bit of alcohol I felt a little more free to do it, I started squeezing his knee because he's ticklish. He'd been nudging a friend and she'd started squeezing his knee to bug him because he gets really jumpy and it's funny. Even though he'd started the nudging of her he told her and then me to stop bothering his leg. So the friend stopped but every now and then I would go back and squeeze his knee and he would say "That's not necessary" and I would say of course it was, and then he'd repeat that it's not necessary. Then later I started doing it again because it's just funny to watch him squirm, and so he would disagree that it's funny and I would say it is and it would be this back and forth thing and there was a tone to his voice that was flirtatious because his insistence that my tickling his leg was not funny or necessary was never said with a heartfelt tone - it was always a lazy tone because he didn't seem actually against my tickling him. He didn't return any of it though, but that could be because I'm not really ticklish much.

 

I'm just wondering if I can interpret that as maybe a sign or bit of hope? That perhaps because he seemed to be perfectly okay with me squeezing his knee (he was wearing shorts too so I was touching his bare knee) and was even flirting slightly when I was claiming it was funny how he reacted and he was disagreeing, that he will thereforeeee be receptive to other physical contact? I'm basically wondering if a guy will be forceful if he doesn't like someone touching him. I mean, we're looking at the fact that I told this guy several months ago (granted when we didn't know each other too well) that I liked him but he thought of me as a friend - yet he still has allowed physical contact such as this and has in the past instigated some too. Is that a good thing or is he just plain physically friendly?

[ftheunion]

ugg females are so complicated.................don't worry hes probably not a jerk.

[ghost69]

how was he being 'physically friendly'? you were harassing him. he asked you to stop several times, told you it wasn't funny, yet you continued. i think it's in your head he likes you. he already knows how you feel, yet he doesn't make a move.

[jenny_mcs]

I think he was tolerating it to be nice. The key is that he didn't return any physical contact. If this guy liked you, and you initiated any kind of touching, he would use that as an excuse to touch you back. Sorry, I don't get the idea that he's at all interested.

[novaseeker]

I kind of agree.

 

He's now had a clear opportunity to reciprocate and he didn't. If he were interested in you, it's likely he would have reciprocated somewhat unless he is toying with you (which would be a bad thing as well).

[SunshinySpotlessMind]

Rereading my post it does seem like I presented it as though he was earnestly asking me and the friend to stop touching his leg but I did not explain well enough that the way he was saying "It's not funny" or "That's not necessary" was in that whiny "Stop tickling me because I only like to bother other people but not get bothered" voice. A) He did not specifically ask that I stop he just did the moany groany slightly flirtatious thing. B) He knows I'm not ticklish so there is really no point to returning it. And the way we were sitting would have forced him to sit forward and reach really far just to tickle me which is useless as he knows I'm not ticklish. He started the whole poking thing with our friend and she responded by telling him "No" but only because that's what you say when you're getting tickled or poked. She started squeezing his knee first and he told her she "didn't need to be doing that" and then I joined in and it was that "I'm going to sound serious but actually not mean it" voice that he used to tell us it wasn't necessary to tickle his knee. And besides, three months ago he initiated poking and stuff before wasting time with his ex-girlfriend again which put a damper on my flirting and also removed the flirting he and I had built up. He just hasn't done so lately is all.

[Batya33]

I agree with the others and think you are reading into this way too much. Even if he did enjoy you touching him (and it sounds like he tolerated it), it doesn't mean he wants to date you, likes you as a person, or wants you to touch him more or at any other time. What it does tell him loud and clear is that you are attracted to him and thereforeee there is no risk of rejection if he asks you out. It also could be that he found the behavior a bit annoying/immature but since you two are buddies I'm sure he'll forgive you.

[SunshinySpotlessMind]

Um, not sure if I'm emphasizing the bit that he did not find it "annoying/immature" as he does that stuff all the time and encourages it. Maybe it's not some sign or whatever, but I would like to make clear that people are misinterpreting what I am saying as thinking I irked him and that is NOT the case. He wasn't acting like he was "tolerating" me or as though he didn't want me touching him. Far from it. Sheesh.

[Batya33]

That's fine. I still do not think it's productive to view it as an affirmative sign of interest, even if he enjoyed you touching his knee. Many people enjoy being touched, flirted with, etc. but it doesn't mean they want to date the person who is flirting/touching or that it means anything more than at that moment, they're having fun or feeling a little turned on.

 

When a man is interested in dating you, you don't have to read into signs especially "if he seemed to be enjoying touching my knee, is that a sign that he wants to date me?" - he will ask you out on a date. Or, even if not, believe me it will be MUCH more clear than this exhaustive analysis you gave to your touching his knee. Another good rule of thumb - if you have to write more than a short sentence to analyze whether a guy is interested in dating you, then you're probably overanalyzing and/or making excuses and he is probably not interested or not "that" into you.

[Carmine]

Jeez, how could you keep touching him? Couldn't you take a hint?! =p

 

Hehe, seriously though, I believe you that he wasn't annoyed and wasn't just tolerating your physical contact, but as people before me said, if he was interested, he probably would have taken more opportunities to touch you back. There's this girl who's a good friend of mine that I like (I'd ask her out but she's dating another guy at the moment...for now I'm fine being close friends though.) Recently she began touching me playfully a lot more, girl-punching me and such. I didn't hesitate to play along with her - grabbing her punches, holding her still...gently of course. On the other hand, girls that I wasn't particularly fond of touched me in pretty telling ways before, and I made sure not to reciprocate back to encourage their behavior.