Dating 2 girls at once, right or wrong?

[15 Storeys High]

These kind of posts confuse me since in the UK you date one person at a time. It's never okay to date more than one person at the same time here. But then maybe that's changed and I don't know about it. Dating more than one person equals way too much drama to me.

[Ben10]

How is ditching him the right thing to do when there is no deal to break?

 

Because he is playing 2 girls at the same time. Like I said, don't expect either one of them to be ok with it.

[madmarten]

These kind of posts confuse me since in the UK you date one person at a time. It's never okay to date more than one person at the same time here. But then maybe that's changed and I don't know about it. Dating more than one person equals way too much drama to me.

 

I used to think exactly this way. I think it would be ideal and more altruistic this way. However I started multidating as a way to increase my odds. See for me, it is impossible to know how things are going to work out during the first several dates. I usually get rejected or the girl just flakes on me. So it became easier to deal with rejection by one girl if I had another date or dates lined up already.

[MushroomGod]

Because he is playing 2 girls at the same time. Like I said, don't expect either one of them to be ok with it.

 

He's not playing anyone. He's exploring his options.

[Ben10]

He's not playing anyone. He's exploring his options.

 

I highly doubt the girls will see it that way.

[wurth_skidder]

I highly doubt the girls will see it that way.

 

They won't. I speak from experience. I'm lucky that I'm still friends with the two girls I dated at the same time last summer. Never gonna do that again.

[JadedStar]

Is it wrong to date two girls at once? Sex hasn't come into the picture yet with either of them, but it will soon. Once I do have sex with one of them, does that mean I have an obligation to one of them?

 

If you are not exclusive with one or both, then no. Nothing wrong with it.

 

Has exclusivity been expressed or implied with either?

[Ben10]

They won't. I speak from experience. I'm lucky that I'm still friends with the two girls I dated at the same time last summer. Never gonna do that again.

 

I had a situation long ago with a girl that pursued me. This was when I just got out of college. We hadn't had the exclusivity talk, but it was clear that we both liked each other and were working towards that.

 

Then one weekend, without a word, I went to her apartment because we had talked about going out that Friday night and she was gone for the weekend. Her roommate told me that she went to visit her xBF who was still in college and stayed the weekend with him.

 

Here again, I know we weren't exclusive, but she came back and tried to act like everything was fine. She reminded me that we were not exclusive and that I shouldn't be mad at her.

 

I told her that I know we weren't exclusive and that I wasn't mad at her (even though I was a little because I'm tired of girls that see one too many guys, mess up a good thing, then whine about it later).

 

But then I told her, "but if you wanted a relationship with me, that wasn't the way to go about it", and told her I didn't want to date her anymore.

 

Meantime her xBF only wanted sex for a weekend, he didn't want her back.

 

Oh the karma of it all.

[Gratsy]

BAM! Isn't that the way it goes, lol. Well, I don't see anything wrong with what she did EXCEPT that she didn't communicate with you beforehand that you two weren't exclusive. So you did the right thing.

 

Thing is, I do communicate...I'm always honest, yet, whenever I'm juggling two guys or more at once, I lose all of them the next instant and I'm alone...its not karma but it sucks anyhow! Lol

[wurth_skidder]

BAM! Isn't that the way it goes, lol. Well, I don't see anything wrong with what she did EXCEPT that she didn't communicate with you beforehand that you two weren't exclusive. So you did the right thing.

 

Thing is, I do communicate...I'm always honest, yet, whenever I'm juggling two guys or more at once, I lose all of them the next instant and I'm alone...its not karma but it sucks anyhow! Lol

 

This is how it usually turns out in my experience and my friends' experiences. Dating two girls at once = dating no one a week later.

[boo121]

I highly doubt the girls will see it that way.

 

girls will see he has other options, and will either compete or pay him more attention. it works the opposite way to how you think it does. - hence

an entire forum on and all the confusion with dating

[Ben10]

BAM! Isn't that the way it goes, lol. Well, I don't see anything wrong with what she did EXCEPT that she didn't communicate with you beforehand that you two weren't exclusive. So you did the right thing.

 

Even if she did communicate it to me and told me she was seeing someone else, I'd still have ended it. I'm not into sharing someone. If she wants to play the field, thats fine. I just won't be one of the guys she plays.

 

And once she figured out I wouldn't put up with it, boy did she try her damndest to keep things going with me. I finally had to tell her that she played me and I want no part of someone like that.

[Ben10]

girls will see he has other options, and will either compete or pay him more attention.

 

Well maybe it is different for women. I won't compete for anyone. They are either into me, or they are not. And if they are into me and want to see if I will compete, then they aren't worth my time.

 

I'm not about giving someone options. They can play that game with other fools.