Just found out my ex fiance and his new wife are expecting first baby

[hotwatermusic]

Not sure how I feel... I learnt over facebook, they aren't my friends on there but saw it posted on a mutual friend's wall. They've both blocked me in fact (for no reason I can understand, its not like I would ever try to contact them..)

 

I felt a pang but not as bad as I expected. I knew it was coming. Everything that has happened was pointing in that direction, as has built the life with her that we were supposed to build but he didn't want to (with me that is). He basically left me for this woman, two years ago. I was with him for three years and we were engaged. I broke up with him because he was having an emotional affair with her and was just a lousy partner - drinking, partying, leaving me alone all the time. Now he's with her he's straightened himself out. They get married and move out to the burbs and have a baby! All within two years. How ABOUT that.

 

I'm not as bitter about it all as I used to be...although I am still bitter. For one thing I am 33 now and with no prospect of finding a partner myself it seems unlikely that I myself will ever have children. On the other hand... through living my life these past two years, I can see that the life they have (the life I would have had if I'd stayed with him) is not the life I want. I never wanted to move out to be near his family, as they have done. I never felt comfortable around them. Its funny, my mother never liked my ex because she suspected he was trying to take me out of my family and have me join his. I always felt a lot of pressure to attend all their events, babyshowers and weddings and so on, he never came to anything with my family. Well she was right, because look what's happened with him and his new wife. No thankyou.

 

I guess I can say everything does indeed happen for a reason. The wife is there because she wants to be, and basically, I didn't and don't. Sure, he wasn't willing to make sacrifices for our relationship, as he has been for theirs. That stings. But it doesn't matter at the end of the day. Its a reflection not of my lack of worth but the fact that we weren't a good fit. Its clear that I want something else. I may never get it, but knowing what I do and don't want, is something in itself...

[annie24]

hugs. sorry for the shock today. but it sounds like you know that this relationship wasn't right for you, and that is good that you aren't in it anymore. you'll likely meet someone right for you eventually, hang in there.

[caro33]

I agree that it won't be all love and cuddles for her, at least not the kind you would want. I think that too many times we think our exes moved on to be the people we fantasised about, that they lived the life with someone else they were meant to live with us. I don't think so though; the ex is highly likely to be the same schmuck who we knew only too well, except now they have the baggage of their relationship with us to deal with as well. And if that involved infidelity they have that guilt to live with, and their new partner has the uneasiness that accompanies being with someone you know can be unfaithful...

 

You are not past having the love and children at 33 by the way!

[hotwatermusic]

And if that involved infidelity they have that guilt to live with, and their new partner has the uneasiness that accompanies being with someone you know can be unfaithful...

 

I know its pointless to speculate but I'm guessing why they both blocked me on facebook...she doesn't want him looking at my page.

 

I know in theory I'm not past it but I'm basing this on my luck since the break-up...unfortunately I do think it could go on this way for another ten years... don't love being alone but I sure am getting used to it! Its sure is hard to trust again, that's for sure, and it seems vaguely that I may have lost the ability to overlook people's flaws enough to even fancy them

[android]

Time is the healer... Time moves fast... I'm waiting...

Just be easy in yourself...

[thejigsup]

The two of them were better suited for each other than the two of you. That's okay. The right guy for you will come along when you have completely healed from this one. When he does, have fun! You two wil make your own magic that may, or may not, include children. But he will never leave you or have you leave your family.