msfoolish Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 I,m so stupid! I looked on my ex's facebook and he,s signed up for dating! we've only been split up a week and a half!!! I'm crushed!!!!! i know i shouldn't have look but i'm cant seem to help it! I still love him so much. what am i going to do? i still feel like i've had my heart ripped out and he's moved on so quickly! we'd been together just under 2 years! I only posted on here yesterday about how heartbroken i was (i need some help) , but i really wasn't expecting that!!!! Link to comment
Clabs Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Hun - you aren't stupid - it is amazing how many people go searching around on myspit/fartbook and the like trying to find out about there exes. But there is an old saying on here that says be careful what you look for because you might not like what you find. Ok - you looked and got bitten. The problem with the social or rather antisocial (in your case) sites is that they can portray anything really - and not necessarily a true picture of what is really going on. People post up pictures of themselves with a new guy or girl and they can change their status to dating or in a relationship - they can put up any old rubbish. Your best bet really is to stay away from those places for a while if you cannot help yourself checking his page. You are gonna be ok - just try to not find out what he is up to. Mark Link to comment
msfoolish Posted May 27, 2008 Author Share Posted May 27, 2008 I know, its just i miss him so much. I've seen him or spoken to him every day for nearly 2 yrs and now there just seems to be a void where he was. I long to see him, talk to him be with him every minute and it hurts so bad! Link to comment
Clabs Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 I hear you hun - it is tough - all of a sudden there is this void and you wonder what on earth to do to fill it. But that is exactly what you need to do for your own sanity. Look - you were perfectly fine before him - and you WILL be perfectly fine after him. It is only very early days for you right now - it is gonna hurt. But it will ease off with a bit of time - you will get back to the good old happy you. Mark Link to comment
msfoolish Posted May 27, 2008 Author Share Posted May 27, 2008 Thank you so much. I know I'll be fine, i just wish i was fine now! XXX Link to comment
Clabs Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Ah - we all wish we could turn the clock forward! But then again, if you don't go through this stuff then you won't grow and learn from it - eh? Take care hun. Mark Link to comment
tazthecat Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Delete and block him..Believe me it's the only way to keep your sanity... Link to comment
vermilion Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 That's why I hate those social networking sites. You can find out almost everything about someone with a few clicks of a mouse. I tend to do the same so believe me you're not the only one. I went months with having nothing to do with this guy and then looked at his website the other day and felt crushed. I was fine before I looked at it. The only thing you can do is just try not to look at it ever again. He's probably trying to just move on. At least he doesn't already have a girlfriend, right? Link to comment
PushingDaisies Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 I became a facebook stalker with my ex, which was really not healthy, as I kept seeing pics of him out with other girls etc. It destroyed my heart everytime. I realised I had to muster up the courage and delete him. It removed the temptation; until I discovered he had no privacy settings and I could still access his page. Grr. Still, deleting him meant I didnt get notifications about what he was up to and its really too much effort to find his page, so I am no longer haunted by this. I know its hard, Ive been there, but I promise it will get better and you have all of us behind you x Link to comment
Panda2008 Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 It is the root of all evil! Not really, but it is very annoying to see things on my ex's page, especially as you can draw your own conclusions about what might be going on (case in point, I made an angry phonecall after seeing a load of pictures of him flirting with a woman at a wedding and my ex smugly told me there was nothing going on and it was his friend's wife). Now he is putting up 'private joke' status updates and I'm finding it quite pathetic. Competitive facebooking (Look! I'm having a better time than you) should be an Olympic sport... Link to comment
amystar Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 MsFoolish, I know too well what you're going through if you've been following my long story. I've been on here for the past two days spilling my feelings out. Hang in there! I just got out of my 3 1/2 year relationship, we technically dated 4 1/2 years but the first year wasn't exclusive. It hurts like hell I know! But you know what, you will be fine! Just take care of yourself, I know it's easier said than done, I'm in the same boat I can't seem to get myself to eat anything. And by the way, I'm the same way, I looked at my ex's facebook page. Now where there used to be a picture of us on his profile, it's gone, it's just him now...listed as single. It hurts but not unexpected. Please feel free to send me a message if it will make you feel better. I know exactly what you're going through! Link to comment
amystar Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Oh and by the way, it's been less than 48 hours and my ex already has had girls post on his facebook thing, kind of suggestive messages too. He must have gotten it out there pretty quickly that he is single...wow....I'm not looking on there anymore. Link to comment
arcadefire Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Facebook is evil. Really really evil. Especially the minifeed. If you don't have the urge to block him (like me), I just hold my hand over the monitor whenever I log in just to block the minifeed! Ignorance is bliss. I used to cyber stalk but it did me no good seeing him with new girls. Link to comment
drewciouS281 Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 delete and block him. I havent seen my exes myspace for 7 months and dont have the urge too. It helped me to move on by not knowing anything. Of course you miss him and long for him cause 2 years is a long time. It seems like he doesnt care but he is probably just trying to move on. Its possible the relationship died to him a long time ago but some people continue to hold on because its comfortable. Just move on sweetheart, you will be ok in time. JUST DONT LOOK AT HIS PAGE, because when you do see him flirtin it will just take you a day or week backwards. I know! Link to comment
msfoolish Posted May 27, 2008 Author Share Posted May 27, 2008 thanks for all of your support. its still really raw now, so i suppose it'll get easier. god knows what i'll be like when i see him in public!!! I know i need to start getting on with my life, but its so hard here in this tiny seaside town. Everyone knows each other and cant wait to tell you what yout ex is up to. i even get texts off people!! I got a text 2 days ago telling me my ex was at my house pickin up the rest of his stuff, while i was at work!!!!! Really didnt need that! we both go to the gym and I'm dreading bumping into him there too! and i know i will cos my classes are at the time when he goes after work. god if its not facebook its everywhere i go, even if i'm not actively seeking it out, as i was when i looked on facebook!!!! Aaaargh. sometimes i just feel like its all too much and i'll never get over it. i wish i (or he) could move away. Link to comment
amystar Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Hi. Is there any way you could take a few days off and just get away. Maybe just go visit some friends in another town. I'm seriously considering it myself. I'm the same way, my ex helped me decorate my house, we listened to all the same music, we read the same magazines, we shared a lot of hobbies. It seems like everywhere I go, I get a reminder of him. I think getting away would be a really good idea. I think I'm going to take a week off soon and just go somewhere that isn't here. I know how those small European towns can be, I used to live in one myself. It seems like everyone has their nose in everybody elses business, makes the healing process for you a lot harder. Link to comment
gift from the gods Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 I know how you feel, those sites are the worst things ever sometimes. But....just because he clicked dating doesnt meen his is or even wants to. He may be doing it just to hurt you, or just to show that he is single..... dont look to deeply into it. x Link to comment
gift from the gods Posted May 27, 2008 Share Posted May 27, 2008 Competitive facebooking (Look! I'm having a better time than you) should be an Olympic sport... OH GOD YES. Too true, really. Everyone (even me) is out to prove how popular/how much they go out/how many people they know/how "over" their ex they are etc etc etc. Link to comment
soulalone Posted May 28, 2008 Share Posted May 28, 2008 There is one way on facebook that you won't get updates. Just block him completely. I can only say it hurt when he blocked me. In the end, I made peace with that...and then I also blocked the mutual guy friends because it seems they will be posting pics of their boys' nights. Link to comment
vermilion Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 Oh and by the way, it's been less than 48 hours and my ex already has had girls post on his facebook thing, kind of suggestive messages too. He must have gotten it out there pretty quickly that he is single...wow....I'm not looking on there anymore. They may be just friends and he may have asked them to knowing you'd look on and be jealous. It sounds lame but I know a lot of people wouln't be above it. Also, ask friends not to give you updates, tell them you need space from this guy and what they're doing is hurting more than helping. I second the suggestion of getting away, going on a vacation. It could really help you clear your head! Link to comment
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