Age

[Canada]

hello,

 

me and my wife have a 2.5 year old. We would like another child. We are having some difficulties conceiving. I am now 38 and will be 39 when a new baby would arrive.

 

My wife just turned 33.

 

I am really having trouble dealing with being 39 and having child. We want another more then anything in the world but I just cannot stop thinking about being 39..

 

And all i do is number crunch about how old i will be when the child is in highschool or collage..

 

Am i nuts or is 39 too old?

 

thanks.

[sophie274]

How long have you been trying to conceive? Have you spoken to a doctor?

 

As for your age, you must decide what you feel comfortable with, but I can tell you there are plenty of students in my class at university with parents in their sixties. My uncle had his last son when his wife was 42, he was around the same age. It's pretty common nowadays.

[avman]

39 isn't too old. People have children when they are even older than that.

 

We want another more then anything in the world but I just cannot stop thinking about being 39..

 

Focus on the first part of that sentence. You want another child. That's the key. There's never a guarantee about age and health anyway. You just have to do the best you can with whatever comes along.

[ryan123]

If you were the one conceiving, yeah i'd say a tad.

 

I have an uncle whose 14.

[Canada]

Yes.. we have been trying for about 1 year and 2 months.. we have been seeing a doctor for the last 3 months.. wife is now on fert. drugs and im still being checked.

 

I dont want to give up.. We want my son to have a sibling more then anything but, I dont want to make my family into a conversation piece..

[tangi39]

Hi Canada,

 

It's personal preference, really. My parents had me when they were 40.

All I would tell you is make sure you want the child, and not just for your son to have a sibling. As far as age, people are looking younger and living longer, 40 doesn't have the same stigma it once did, especially as far as parenting goes.

If you believe it's just a number, it will be. And as far as health goes, there are never guarantees regardless of age.

 

Weigh the options and do what is best for you.

[Canada]

Hello, thanks. yes me and my wife both want another more then anything. Thats what everyone is saying its just a number. I think if we were already pregnant I wouldnt be so concerned. Its just every month keeps going by and its really really tough.

[vermilion]

I don't think there's anything wrong with that. My stepdad was near 50 when my youngest half-brother was born and, amazingly, my mother was 42

It was completely natural, with no problems.

 

If you can do it, why not? The most important thing to do is take care of yourself if it does happen. You want to be around for this kid to grow up so stay healthy.

 

Good luck!

[Excalibur]

Are you going to enjoy being the father of an infant at 40, are you going to enjoy being the father of a teenager in your 50's?

 

Seems you are - since you will be anyway since the one you have is only 2.5

 

I'd say quit focusing on you two being "gawked at" - and start looking at other options to having a sibling for your child - since you say that is the point of this whole endeavor anyway.

 

It's more about how old do you want your child to be - before he/she has a sibling?...it's not how old am I going to be when the child is 18.

[Iceman26]

My dad was 41 when I was born. My stepdad was 51 when my little brother was born. He loves it. He says that my little brother helps keep him active and young.

[Hope75]

39 is still very young!

 

I think the concern is when the mother reaches her mid to late 30's/early 40's as she is born with all the eggs she will ever have, and as she ages, so do they, which decreases her chance of conception and increases the risk of birth defects, miscarriage, and other problems.

 

Men, on the other hand, continue to produce sperm from puberty until death in most incidences, depending on their reproductive health.

 

It all depends on how you feel. My father was 44 when my youngest sister was born. (she's 20 now.)

 

My fiance and I plan to try for a family right away when we marry in 4.5 months, making us almost 34 when our first child is born, if we conceive right away. There is a very real possibility we will be having children well into our late 30's and possibly early 40's, depending on our health and ability to conceive. It is much less a concern with paternal age, and your wife is my age so she has several potentially fertile years left.

[Lana0120]

It is a bit old, but I don't think it's too old. Not for a few more years, anyway.

[just M.E.]

39 is not at all too old, my uncle was a father for the first time at 56.

 

There are issues for a woman as she ages, the risks of downs syndrome and other issues goes up as woman age (those eggs don't stay fresh forever) but guys are lucky, they stay pretty much the same for longer. As a quality Dad, you could be 60, it is all in how you care for your children. Some parents never interact with their children and they become parents early in life. Quality of parenting is not a physical trait, it's an emotional trait.