Relationships after a divorce

[Mishmash]

So how long after a divorce did some of you start casual dating or become involved in a steady relationship? Just curious as this question crosses my mind every now and then.

 

For me, I don't know if I want to be in another relationship again.

[melrich]

I started seeing someone about a year after my seperation. The actual divorce came later as there are legal hoops you have to jump through before that can be finalised.

[caro33]

I wasn't married but I was with my ex for close on ten years and we were pretty committed: engaged, living together etc. I was ready for another relationship a year or so later, but did not form another proper, long term relationship for 3.5 years. When I was going through my heartbreak from that relationship I would sometimes try to imagine myself with another man, other than my ex that is. The thought horrified me, I couldn't do it - kept imagining some sweaty, hairy stranger.

 

But if and when that time comes when you are ready, you'll be ready. There's no point overthinking it ahead of time. While you are healing and doing your own thing it's fair enough to not want another relationship. Try not to worry about it. The you who is ready for another relationship is just not who you are right now, but it'll happen eventually.

[Portage]

It happens when you aren't looking for it. Just the way nature intended. We'd run otherwise..

[Mishmash]

It happens when you aren't looking for it. Just the way nature intended. We'd run otherwise..

 

 

[JadedStar]

It happens when you aren't looking for it. Just the way nature intended. We'd run otherwise..

 

Absolutely.

 

And the first few times you go out you might feel like you are cheating on your divorced spouse. This is very normal even if you were the one who was the dumpee.

 

It will pass. I felt like i was cheating on my divorced ex when i dated my current SO a year later. It didn't last long.

[thejigsup]

It took me almost three years. I hated men for awhile and I didn't want some poor man paying for my ex's mistakes.

[PixelPusher]

I met a woman about a month out of my divorce. I told her I wasn't ready and wanted to just be friends for a while, but I got too emotionally attached due to the unresolved pain from the split with my X. That relationship lasted about 4 months I guess.

 

Then met another woman when I wasn't really searching. We've been together for two years now and I'm very happy.

[surfjon]

I started casual dating after about 4 months, and was always up front about my situation and the fact I was going thru a divorce. I guess I went out with about 15 girls.

 

I found a girl I really liked and we fell for each other, but she's 24 and I'm 42, we started dating 2 months ago, We're trying to make it work, but I'm seeing how hard it is to be in a relationship.

 

It's been 10 months since my wife of 20 years left me and I think it's too soon.

[John Bendix]

Someone,

 

Very well put.

 

Now if we can see in these terms, we would be better off.

[Mishmash]

Thanks for the input everyone. I've been out of the dating scene for two decades, and quite frankly I am not looking forward to it. Meeting someone is NOT my first priority, or even on my list right now. I was just wondering if I stayed away from the dating game for a few years if that would be considered abnormal, but I see the time ranges from months to years. Just depends when you are ready.