confuzed25 Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 I have been pretty worried lately that my boyfriend has feelings for another girl. Him and I have been together for 2 months now and so far things have been good, he treats me really well, we have fun together, and he wants to spend a lot of time with me. But the other night he went out without me and didnt ask me to go. Then i did not get a text message from him like he usually sends me every night. the next day when i talked to him and asked him how his night was he said "i had a lot of fun." But later at dinner he told me that there wasnt that many people out, but he sat at the bar all night and chatted with one of his girl friends. Ive met this girl, shes gorgeous and hes said before that he thinks she is a gorgeous girl. So basically he was telling me he had "a lot of fun" hanging out with that girl all night. And he talks about this girl sometimes, like brings her up in conversation when hes talking to me. Also at dinner he told me that she texted him earlier in the day asking him if he wanted to meet up for some drinks. I glanced at his phone later while he was scrolling through his text messages and saw at least 3 messages from her which could have been when she asked him to meet up....or it could be that they text back and forth all the time. So now its really bothering me....i cant help but wonder if something is going on between them. But on the other hand if something was going on with them, wouldnt he try to keep her a secret from me? I dont know...me and him had such a great time last night and last night he told me he had a lot of fun with me. But then this morning he seemed a little more distant that usual...we were texting back and forth because i was at work and couldnt talk but he didnt have much to say other than "i had fun," and he said "i miss you too" when i told him i missed him. Then i called him when i got off work and he seemed quiet, and didnt ask me to hang out like he usually does when i have the night off. I just wish i knew how he really feels about me.....and this other girl. I dont want to sit around while he is out trying to get with someone else and then breaks up with me out of nowhere to be with her. Should i be worried??? Link to comment
bmwm3 Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 just ask him on how he feels... and express your concerns to him... talking about her is kinda of a red flag.. it just means she could be on his mind... Link to comment
traeh Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 If you've only been together for two months, it's kinda weird that he went out to the bar without you. I mean usually, that early on in the relationship, you and he should want to spend as much time together as possible. It is okay that he has a girl as a friend. However, if you are worried that there could be something more to it, then it's important that you communicate these feelings to him. He can't read your mind, and any speculation isn't going to get you anywhere. It's just going to make you more upset. If he cares about you, he'll listen to your concerns and be respectful of your feelings. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 hm. 2 months isn't long to be going out with a person. i wonder if he has a thing for her too. you can just ask him point blank. did you and your bf agree to be exclusive? Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 If you've only been together for two months, it's kinda weird that he went out to the bar without you. I mean usually, that early on in the relationship, you and he should want to spend as much time together as possible. It is okay that he has a girl as a friend. However, if you are worried that there could be something more to it, then it's important that you communicate these feelings to him. He can't read your mind, and any speculation isn't going to get you anywhere. It's just going to make you more upset. If he cares about you, he'll listen to your concerns and be respectful of your feelings. well, i think that it's normal to not be joined at the hip too early on. i don't ask a guy who is that new out every single time i am going out. but i can imagine if i were married, i'd invite my husband if some friends suggested we get drinks. Link to comment
lady00 Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 What is your exclusivity status? Link to comment
confuzed25 Posted May 18, 2008 Author Share Posted May 18, 2008 we have been exclusive for 5 weeks now...ive known him for 2 months. he has known her longer than me but im not sure exactly how long. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 look, from my personal experiences, i think your gut is right. if you feel like something is off, it is. i've had bf's with female friends i've trusted and other bfs where i thought something was off. i had a bf once that kept talking about this 'friend' of his. i asked him point blank if he was just with me until he got the courage to ask her out, he said yes. i then told him what a rotten human being he was and he started crying. what a moron. ulk. Link to comment
Mommy_Kitty_1985 Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 I think it is obvious that he likes this chick. She may just be hanging out with him, but he seems to want to be around her, hoping for more. After just 5 weeks of dating, he probably still feels like it's okay for him to play the field. (Although if you agreed to be exclusive, then it's not okay.) I would just move on, and find someone new, or just go out with the girls and let him have that other girl. After 5 weeks, he's not worth worrying about. Link to comment
lady00 Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 look, from my personal experiences, i think your gut is right. if you feel like something is off, it is. i've had bf's with female friends i've trusted and other bfs where i thought something was off. i had a bf once that kept talking about this 'friend' of his. i asked him point blank if he was just with me until he got the courage to ask her out, he said yes. i then told him what a rotten human being he was and he started crying. what a moron. ulk. I agree. How much does he talk about her and say how much fun he's had with her? If it's a pattern then it would seem that he does like her. Link to comment
AntiLove_SuperStar Posted May 18, 2008 Share Posted May 18, 2008 I think he likes both of you, but not enough to be with either. Maybe he'll *make up his mind* sooner or later. But if you feel insecure and she doesn't/isn't, she'll be the more attractive. Link to comment
missmebaby Posted May 19, 2008 Share Posted May 19, 2008 sigh:sad: well i have not heard from him since i called him after work 4 and a half hours ago. that is so unlike him...he is usually always texting me saying miss you or thinking about you. i have no idea whats going on with him...im just sitting here wondering if he is doing something hes not supposed to do or with someone hes not supposed to be with. the biggest thing of all is that he didnt even ask me to hang out today. i thought we had such a great night last night...he was showering me with compliments and he told me he had a lot of fun with me. then this morning when i left for work he said ill miss you. its like lately, within the last 2 weeks one day he seems all about me, the next day he seems kind of different. he was in a year and a half long relationship in which she lived with him the whole time. she moved in as his friend and they ended up dating for the next year and a half. They just broke up 5 months ago, so i guess they had only been broken up for 3 months when we met. The only thing i can think of is that maybe he just wants to be single for awhile because he had just been in a relationship for a year and a half and lived together. But then again he met me on a dating site so i thought for sure he was looking for a relationship. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 19, 2008 Share Posted May 19, 2008 i wouldn't read too much into that. men kind of pull away after some intimacy. they usually come back. it's especially like that in the first few months of dating. but this 'friend' of his bothers me a bit. i'd try to find out what the deal is. Link to comment
confuzed25 Posted May 19, 2008 Author Share Posted May 19, 2008 well it has now been 6 and a half hours since i last heard a word from him. cant imagine what he could be doing that he couldnt even send me a text message saying he misses me or something. of course i expect the worst....that he is with that girl. usually he goes to bed soon so im wondering if i should call him to see whats up or just give him his space and leave him alone???? Link to comment
confuzed25 Posted May 19, 2008 Author Share Posted May 19, 2008 well i called him....no answer. honestly i cannot think of any excuse for him not contacting me from 3 in the afternoon until now which is almost midnight other than he is with another girl. if something bad happened to him his sister would have contacted me. he hasnt been online since about 6pm either. the only other explanation i can think of is that he made some dinner around 6, laid around and watched some tv and planned on calling me before bed but he fell asleep. hes done that once or twice before ....fallen asleep on the couch around 8 or 9 and slept til about 1 or 2am then woke up and dragged himself to bed. he doesnt hear his phone either while hes sleeping so that would explain why he didnt answer my call. its a far stretch but im keeping my fingers crossed that that is what happened. Link to comment
confuzed25 Posted May 19, 2008 Author Share Posted May 19, 2008 wow it seems like i was right....he just texted me saying "sorry babe i fell asleep on the couch. going to bed now, missing you." well i was freaking out about nothing......as usual. i still plan on asking him if he has feelings for this other girl though. Link to comment
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