Need some support badly right now!!!

[Pharm11]

Hi guys,

Its me again, the heartbroken girl. All I could think of is him him and him. I was at church today and him, everywhere him. Gosh, I did pray, and I am praying a lot. It is just so hard.

 

I am reading this book called its called a breakup because it is broken. And looking at it my ex wasnt that bad. But I feel now that I was his rebound girl, whom he didnt fall in love with, whom went to mexico with and spent all this time to just dump me when school was over. Ouch, and as a result I fell in love with him. I look back and wonder, Was I THAT BLIND!!! He still kept in touch with his ex because she called, they split up due to religion and he said she did nothing wrong. I ignored it, and look I am broken inside. I bet he is fine.....

 

In this book I am reading its telling me to take this 60 day NC challenge. What do you guys think? I guess it will be a goal a motivation factor if there are numbers involved.

 

Any help will help right now, I cant stop taking him out of my head.

[pumpkinmoon]

yes take the challenge, NC will do you good!!!!

 

I know it is hard right now, but I promise that it will get easier with time.

 

You can only assume what he is feeling and whatever assumptions you make are probably wrong anyway, so try to take you mind of it and concentrate on yourself and making yourself feel better. I read a lot of posts on here and posted all the time during the early stages of my break up and i think that helped me a lot.

 

Hope this helps you xx

[Pharm11]

thanks shoefairy, it does help. it just really nice to come on here and just vent knowing that there will be someone who wil hear you out. Thanks for hearing me out now. I dont feel as alone. : ).

 

So monday was the last time I talked to him so 54 more days!!!!

[Pharm11]

yes take the challenge, NC will do you good!!!!

 

I know it is hard right now, but I promise that it will get easier with time.

 

You can only assume what he is feeling and whatever assumptions you make are probably wrong anyway, so try to take you mind of it and concentrate on yourself and making yourself feel better. I read a lot of posts on here and posted all the time during the early stages of my break up and i think that helped me a lot.

 

Hope this helps you xx

 

I had a question, how long ago was you break up?

And do dumpers ever come back, in my case it wasnt a fight or a cheating situation, he said "i think we should break up, its just not the right time"...so anyone ....what do you think...do they come back if we had a great thing going and the present time was not good?

[pumpkinmoon]

thanks shoefairy, it does help. it just really nice to come on here and just vent knowing that there will be someone who wil hear you out. Thanks for hearing me out now. I dont feel as alone. : ).

 

So monday was the last time I talked to him so 54 more days!!!!

 

you're welcome and you certainly aren't alone. I bet when those 60 days are up you wont have a strong urge to contact him if you have one at all

[Pharm11]

Thanks so much...

one more question....

 

shoefairy...

do dumpers every come back, it we left on a good note....?

[pumpkinmoon]

I had a question, how long ago was you break up?

And do dumpers ever come back, in my case it wasnt a fight or a cheating situation, he said "i think we should break up, its just not the right time"...so anyone ....what do you think...do they come back if we had a great thing going and the present time was not good?

 

My break up was 2.5 months ago now.

 

They do come back yes, I have read stories on here and heard of some in real life too (even the other day) but it is very important not to cling onto any hope because this will serverely hinder your healing, let go of it as soon as you can. I lived on hope in the beginning and I started becoming obsessed with it which wasn't good at all for me.

 

Also, you may have read a lot of "tips" on getting them back, I know I did, but these do not work and I havent learned this since. I have also come to realise that there is nothing we can do to get them back, they have to come back of their own accord.

 

If it is meant to be then it will if not then they weren't the right ones anyway. I know this will be hard for you to take in right now but you will come to realise these things too and it helps when you do.

[Clabs]

Hey Pharm

 

It is so hard but that 60 day challenge is a great idea, it really is. It won't be easy - you are gonna have good days and bad days - but the bad days will slowly fade. If you feel weak, come back here for support and to vent your heart out.

 

As time passes, build on what you have achieved - reward yourself for taking this control back in your life and use this to propel yourself forwards. Don't forget to keep yourself busy though - get out as much as you can - go out with friends, get some nice things booked up and put on your calendar so you have something to look forward to. Go for a walk, or a run or get down the gym. Have some fun!

 

It can seem like you will never get through this at times but you only have to browse around here to find success stories of people who have gotten back on track and are much happier in their lives. You will get there!

 

Mark

[pumpkinmoon]

Thanks so much...

one more question....

 

shoefairy...

do dumpers every come back, it we left on a good note....?

 

I think it depends on the person really and the feelings involved. But I think as long as there was no cheating/abuse and the relationship wasn't just downright destructive then there is always a chance that they will come back.

 

I dont want to plant false hope in your head, a lot of dumpers never do, but we never know what the future holds. Time changes everything, people change and feelings change. We never know what is going to happen. But I do think there is always a chance.

 

Of course, if they decide to come back one day it may be too late and we may have moved on and may be happy with other people. If they don't come back then we will move on and be happy with someone else one day anyway.

 

I just think that it is best to focus on this time now and trying to get over this at the moment.

[Pharm11]

well said, as i hear everywhere, they never come back until we have moved on completely...what a life...: ).

 

Thanks.... hope is never bad...

[Pharm11]

Thanks!! Mark. i hope you are having a good day today.

 

This morning was bad for me but hearing all of you chear me on makes me feel great. In this book I am reading it says to get a breakup buddy,...and indeed you guys are it!!! thanks, and I cant wait till my success story uncovers.

[Pharm11]

...

It has been my experience that they come back more often than not.

 

Thanks...so much...MissKitty: ). But until then...i know i know...move on and find myself!!!

 

Its kinda hard, when all my happiness was making my ex happy.

[Stella Sleepwalks]

I have had experiences when ex's come back and some that don't The ones that didn't were cowards and idiots (no seriously - they were), you have to ask yourself what type of person your ex really is, and whether it is realistic they will come back.

 

For me, it was a mutual breakup but still crushing.

 

I am sure the two of us have contemplated breaking NC but fear overtakes us.

 

I once went to an ex and asked for a second chance and not only did he say no, he told me that he never loved me and hit me! That experience has put me off contacting my most recent ex. We are mostly afraid of the things that have already happened to us, so if your ex has been badly burned by asking for a second chance in the past, this might be a huge factor in the reconcilliation not happening.

[Clabs]

Hey Pharm

 

Thank you darling - yes - an excellent day today!

 

I am so glad you feel a bit happier now. A breakup buddy is a great idea and you sure have a lot of us on here!

 

It sounds like you probably invested too much time and effort on your ex - and when they run out, they leave a big hole.

 

Spend more time making you happy darling - that is what is important - the most important thing in your entire life. When you are truly happy then you will attract good things to you!

 

Keep positive and come back here to your buddies if you feel down.

 

Mark

[pumpkinmoon]

...

It has been my experience that they come back more often than not.

 

Have you had many come back?

[pumpkinmoon]

well said, as i hear everywhere, they never come back until we have moved on completely...what a life...: ).

 

Thanks.... hope is never bad...

 

It is ok as long as you don't let it take over and you make yourself realise that it may never happen.

 

Thanks...so much...MissKitty: ). But until then...i know i know...move on and find myself!!!

 

Its kinda hard, when all my happiness was making my ex happy.

 

Yes it is hard but sadly, we have no choice in the matter, We can either move forward and better ourselves or stay in this mess and pin all of our hopes on something that may never happen. I am choosing the first option

[Pharm11]

Thanks everyone...

 

Gosh its 7, what a day almost going to end...ofcourse full of him in my thoughts...

 

I cant stop thinking about is he thinking of me..is he trying to help by not contacting me...all the things I am not supposed to think about I am thinking of : (.

 

Atleast another day has passed...just want it to get better(sorry guys if I sound like i am whinning). I was strong one day, before him, now i am a sad girl...lost...gosh gotta pick it back up. Its hard when the motivation is not there you know....like someone has rejected you, whats the point...

 

How do you guys find this motivation?

[pumpkinmoon]

Thanks everyone...

 

Gosh its 7, what a day almost going to end...ofcourse full of him in my thoughts...

 

I cant stop thinking about is he thinking of me..is he trying to help by not contacting me...all the things I am not supposed to think about I am thinking of : (.

 

Atleast another day has passed...just want it to get better(sorry guys if I sound like i am whinning). I was strong one day, before him, now i am a sad girl...lost...gosh gotta pick it back up. Its hard when the motivation is not there you know....like someone has rejected you, whats the point...

 

How do you guys find this motivation?

 

You will have these thoughts, it is natural. I had everyt thought imaginiable and from eading many posts on here a lot of people have exactly the same thoughts.

 

I am not gonna lie and say you will feel better soon, it is going to take a while. But you will get there. It has been about 2.5 months for me now and I am only just starting to feel better and I still have a lot of bad days. Just take each day as it comes. The days will add up to weeks and months, it may feel like time is going slow, but when I look back, the time has flown by.

[Pharm11]

Thats really nice to hear. I think that if I keep up this NC thing, the less I will know about him, so the sooner I can get over him.

 

But if he were to call, my friends were saying dont pick up. But what if he wanted me back, he would call again....I guess..wishful thinking..

 

Thanks shoefairy. It has been a week since I have talked to him, I just hate the thought that he hasnt called. But whatever. I know I wont call, I will slap myself if i do.

[pumpkinmoon]

Thats really nice to hear. I think that if I keep up this NC thing, the less I will know about him, so the sooner I can get over him.

 

But if he were to call, my friends were saying dont pick up. But what if he wanted me back, he would call again....I guess..wishful thinking..

 

Thanks shoefairy. It has been a week since I have talked to him, I just hate the thought that he hasnt called. But whatever. I know I wont call, I will slap myself if i do.

 

Depends. I am not sure I would ignore my ex, but I would keep it as minimal as possible. But yes, if they do want to get back together some day they will make it known one way or another.