please help, jealousy has taken over my life

[bvnstar05]

ok, i know that this is going to sound so pathetic, but i really need to stop being so jealous:

my boyfriend and i have been dating for a little over 9 months. we are both completely devoted to each other and are in a very serious relationship. (by the way i'm 16, and he's 17). anyway, we have both come up with the "rule" that we don't want each other talking to the opposite sex. we both feel exactly the same way about it so nothing was forced. well, recently, i have been "threatened" by this girl all of a sudden. i have no idea why i feel this way, she's not trying to steal my b/f or anything at all, i just completely hate her for some reason. well my b/f has also recently told me that freshman and a little of sophomore year (not all of sophmore year b/c we were going out at the end of it so it wasn't a problem) he had some fantasies about this girl. that upset me so much. i feel so depressed just knowing that. he didn't even know me when this was going on, so i shouldn't care at all, but everytime i see her, i want to cry b/c he had those fantasies. he doesn't like her now or anything, but i can't get over this at all. i am in desperate need of help right now. all i have thought about for the past few days is just what he thought about her, and if he has even thought about me like that. my mind just creates little scenarios that (probably) aren't true, but it still upsets me so much. i really need some advice, please help. thanks for reading this.

[musicguy]

i know how you feel. I get the same way too.

[kdreger]

 

 

Girl, I'm going to tell you an eternal universal truth.

 

Ready?

 

Men have fantasies.

 

Men have fantasies about all kinds of women, doing all kinds of things in all kinds of locations. It's just a fact of life. You can't do anything about it and you will destroy a good thing if you allow it to come in between the two of you. It's better that you accept this universal truth. Ask around - you'll see he's not abnormal.

 

That said, I think he's a pinhead for telling you. What was the point? I don't know him so I can't comment but it was disrespectful. Sure it was honest but come on...

 

Instead, tell him that you've had fantasy about someone and make sure to point out a hot guy you know. This isn't meant for revenge but to humble him. He can fantasize all he wants but he has to understand that you can do it too.