ilovethatguy Posted May 13, 2008 Share Posted May 13, 2008 I have had feelings for a guy about three years older than me for a while. It seemed that he was not interested in me, so I suppressed these feelings and tried to move on. A few weeks ago, as he was giving me a ride home from school, we ended up having sex. I was very surprised that he would do this. We had sex a few more times but our relationship was far from personal. He would text me on my cell phone telling me he was picking me up, we'd have sex, he'd drive me back home. I never saw or talked to him at any other time. I knew that he was just using me, but I liked him too much to stop. Recently, I had decided that doing this was only going to hurt me more, and I was planning on telling him it was over. But then, something happened. I started getting sick in the morning, and would feel fine by the afternoon. My weight slowly started to increase, and my period was late. I am starting to think that I am pregnant. What should I do? I know that he doesn't want a serious relationship (his actions have shown me that) but I really don't know if I should tell him or not. I want to tell him that it's over, but I know I still have feelings for him... Any advice? Link to comment
ilovethatgirl Posted May 13, 2008 Share Posted May 13, 2008 hey... just in my opinion... you should dump him and get back with me for real honestly though... if you still have feelings for someone even when you know they're using you... you really should ask yourself if those feelings are just going to lead to more pain... and in this case, I think they will. Link to comment
ilovethatguy Posted May 13, 2008 Author Share Posted May 13, 2008 ...No we didn't use any protection.... I know it was horribly stupid but I had no idea that a simple drive home was going to end up like that and after that..... Well.... I kept telling myself that he was taking me out on a date... That he actually liked me and that we were dating normally.... I was so stupid...... Link to comment
ilovethatguy Posted May 13, 2008 Author Share Posted May 13, 2008 Ok... you cannot force me to choose because you are completely biased..... Although I do understand what you mean...... Link to comment
ilovethatguy Posted May 13, 2008 Author Share Posted May 13, 2008 I know...... I just.... It seems like such a good thing.... I know this doesn't make any sense.... But I really really like him, and I don't want to give him up even though I know he is just using me. I cant just walk away from this when I have wanted it for so long. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 13, 2008 Share Posted May 13, 2008 first thing's first - take a pregnancy test. Link to comment
ilovethatgirl Posted May 13, 2008 Share Posted May 13, 2008 hon, you don't have to come back to me, but please, save us both a TON of pain and tell him its over... these feelings you have for him will just cause you more pain in the future... Link to comment
headunderwater Posted May 13, 2008 Share Posted May 13, 2008 I used to think that these older guys that liked me, liked me for me. But they only wanted an easy lay. Then they go off to there older, real girlfriends. You will never be more than a lay to him. I'm sorry, and its hard to realize that. The true test is, if they really like you...they won't make you feel like a piece of meat, you will feel like a princess. Link to comment
ilovethatgirl Posted May 13, 2008 Share Posted May 13, 2008 I used to think that these older guys that liked me, liked me for me. But they only wanted an easy lay. Then they go off to there older, real girlfriends. You will never be more than a lay to him. I'm sorry, and its hard to realize that. The true test is, if they really like you...they won't make you feel like a piece of meat, you will feel like a princess. I'm too formal to phrase it like that... but that's what I've been trying to say. Link to comment
ilovethatgirl Posted May 13, 2008 Share Posted May 13, 2008 I'm going to talk totally objectively here... I'm imagining that I've never met you before in my life. honestly, in my opinion, he's only interested in you because you're a young girl he can have sex with and then hang out to dry when he gets bored with you. I know it may hurt to end it now, but believe me, you'll be saving yourself a lot MORE pain in the long run. Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted May 13, 2008 Share Posted May 13, 2008 Have you taken a home pregnancy test? Before you stress too much about it, you need to take one to be sure. And how old are you? From other posts i gather he is 17 and you are 14? If you are 14, you will need to be talking to your parents soon if you are pregnant as to what you need to do about this as a family. Your mom needs to take you to a doctor if you are pregnant, and the sooner you start dealing with this the better. Everyone makes mistakes at your age, but you need to deal with pregnancy issues head on, whether that is deciding what to do if you are pregnant, or getting birth control if you are not and intend to remain sexually active. You are below the age of consent, so your parents will need to get involved one way or another. Please turn to your parents now for support, or talk to a school counselor if you are afraid to talk to your parents. Before you do anything though, take a home pregnancy test to put your mind at rest, and learn what the next thing you need to do is. This guy you like will sort itself out, but first deal with the potential pregnancy issues and getting birth control if you are not pregnant. Link to comment
ilovethatgirl Posted May 13, 2008 Share Posted May 13, 2008 You are below the age of consent, Actually, the age of consent is 13 here. Kinda weirds me out... but yeah. Link to comment
ilovethatguy Posted May 14, 2008 Author Share Posted May 14, 2008 Yes, I am above the age of consent so my parents do not need to be told about this. I have not taken a pregnancy test yet, but I plan on doing it shortly. I do plan on not being sexually active any longer, it's just a matter of trying to stop. Link to comment
rikka Posted May 14, 2008 Share Posted May 14, 2008 Actually Canada just raised it's age of consent to 16.... so yeah. That aside, I am glad you have decided to stop being sexually active. I agree with BSBH that you may want to speak to a counselor - your self esteem issues should be addressed. Take a pregnancy test and put your mind at ease... I hope it is negative. Link to comment
ilovethatgirl Posted May 14, 2008 Share Posted May 14, 2008 Yes, I am above the age of consent so my parents do not need to be told about this. I have not taken a pregnancy test yet, but I plan on doing it shortly. I do plan on not being sexually active any longer, it's just a matter of trying to stop. .... ....no sex over the summer? awwwez Link to comment
ilovethatguy Posted May 14, 2008 Author Share Posted May 14, 2008 Are you sure the age of consent was just raised? I thought it was just lowered..... Ya, I really should take a test.... I just keep putting it off because I don't want to have to accept that I am pregnant if it comes out positive... Subconsciously, I would rather not know so I would not have to deal with it. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 14, 2008 Share Posted May 14, 2008 Are you sure the age of consent was just raised? I thought it was just lowered..... Ya, I really should take a test.... I just keep putting it off because I don't want to have to accept that I am pregnant if it comes out positive... Subconsciously, I would rather not know so I would not have to deal with it. it's one of those things that you have to deal with asap, so you know what to do next. would you keep it or abort or put it up for adoption?? take the test now. Link to comment
ilovethatguy Posted May 14, 2008 Author Share Posted May 14, 2008 I know I know...... I'm going to take the test as soon as I can. Ummm..... I don't think I could abort it..... I would probably just put it up for adoption. Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted May 14, 2008 Share Posted May 14, 2008 Yes, I am above the age of consent so my parents do not need to be told about this. I have not taken a pregnancy test yet, but I plan on doing it shortly. I do plan on not being sexually active any longer, it's just a matter of trying to stop. whether you're above or below the age of consent, if youre possibly pregnant you need to tell your parents. Link to comment
ilovethatgirl Posted May 14, 2008 Share Posted May 14, 2008 whether you're above or below the age of consent, if youre possibly pregnant you need to tell your parents. Have you ever met her parents? They'd lock her in her room every night if they found out about this. Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted May 14, 2008 Share Posted May 14, 2008 Have you ever met her parents? They'd lock her in her room every night if they found out about this. Well, if thats the case maybe she should have reconsidered having unprotected sex.. If you play with fire, you will get burned! She's mature enough to play without protection she needs to be mature enough to tell her parents. Link to comment
ilovethatguy Posted May 14, 2008 Author Share Posted May 14, 2008 I wasn't planning on this to happen at all. It was a huge surprise to me that it happened and I wasn't prepared for it. Link to comment
ilovethatguy Posted May 14, 2008 Author Share Posted May 14, 2008 I am pretty sure that when he finds out he will leave me. Link to comment
rikka Posted May 14, 2008 Share Posted May 14, 2008 Are you sure the age of consent was just raised? I thought it was just lowered..... Ya, I really should take a test.... I just keep putting it off because I don't want to have to accept that I am pregnant if it comes out positive... Subconsciously, I would rather not know so I would not have to deal with it. Tragically not taking the test is not going to change the outcome, either you are or you aren't - but avoiding the test is not going to change that. Regardless of the outcome, I am sure you have learned some important lessons and take more precautions with your life. I would also like to echo some of the sentiments posted by others and forget about the melodrama of this boy and deal with the possible pregnancy. Take the test and get some answers. When that is out of the way then deal with the boy who is taking advantage of you. PS In 2008 Canada raised the age of consent from 14 to 16. link removed Link to comment
ilovethatgirl Posted May 14, 2008 Share Posted May 14, 2008 Tragically not taking the test is not going to change the outcome, either you are or you aren't - but avoiding the test is not going to change that. Regardless of the outcome, I am sure you have learned some important lessons and take more precautions with your life. I would also like to echo some of the sentiments posted by others and forget about the melodrama of this boy and deal with the possible pregnancy. Take the test and get some answers. When that is out of the way then deal with the boy who is taking advantage of you. PS In 2008 Canada raised the age of consent from 14 to 16. link removed DAMN THEM! lol ....don't report me to the police ok? Link to comment
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