Is This Appropriate???

[ScenicBoy]

I have other posts here which detail my story. I'm the dumpee. We've been broken up for 2 months now and have been in "undeclared" no contact ever since until today. She spoke of a future friendship during the break-up, but I don't know if I believe she really wants that, and my feelings are too strong for that anyway.

 

I sent a one sentence e-mail in the last day to see if her family was ok after the midwest tornados this weekend. She responded saying "yes" and "thanks for asking". Neither of us brought anything else up, which is fine. It was hard (in a sad way) to even get an e-mail back from her. Had the storms not hit near her family's home, I would not have contacted her.

 

Looking towards the end of the month and my question.........

 

We were together six months and I did become attached to her two young children. I think they became attached too, but neither I, nor her children, were allowed to say "goodbye"...unfortunately. I asked for that during the break-up but never received a response. Her daughter's birthday is in two weeks and I want to send a birthday card. It's not about the Ex really - I do miss her daughter. I thought of dropping the b-day card in the mail and then giving my Ex a heads-up in case her son grabs the mail. If she wants to intercept it and prevent her daughter from seeing it, she can but at least I'm doing what I want to do.

 

However, since we are not a part of each other's lives anymore (and probably will not be for a long time, if ever), I wonder if sending this b-day card would be a mistake. Would it be bad for her daughter? Would it ruin any chance of thawing the situation with my Ex?

 

I put this post in this section because my heart keeps some of hope of reconciliation although I doubt that will really happen.

 

Thoughts?

[Landon]

I would probably send it, thats the nice thing to do. just make sure its very short, like:

 

Happy birthday

Sincerely.

 

something along those lines good luck

[theredrocket]

I don't think you should send it. I don't think it's the best thing for the child and in general people usually do these things as a way of showing the ex how caring or what a great person they are.