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Long story short:


I broke up with my ex almost 4 months ago, we were together 2 years. our love was real, physically and emotionally. when we broke up mutually, it was both out of anger and spite, not because we really stopped loving each other. She thought i was not going anywhere with my life, i thought she was too controlling and smothering. immediately after we broke up, she found someone else, which made me believe that she already had him lined up before we even split. i went NC, took her off my facebook, etc, and my healing began. last month, on my bday, she tried talking to me again, and added me on facebook. i was skeptical, but i didnt want to be a , so i casually responded and talked to her just as basic friends. anyways, i found out through facebook that she has been making out with other guys (more than one). I dont really want to find out this info in the first placee, ignorance is bliss, which is why i took her off my facebook. but when she added me again, curiosity got the best of me. anyways, she didnt deny anything when i asked. but i just told her that she wasnt a friend to me, she hasnt helped me at all since we broke up, she says she cares about me, but never does anything to show for it.


today im going nc again, but emotionally, im right back where i started almost 4 months ago. theres a hole in my heart. iono what i want. advice is appreciated i guess. i think mostly i posted this as a warning to anyone hoping that you can have a healthy relationship with your ex. if you're willing to take the risk, u should know that it most likely wont work out, and all the healing you've gone thru will have gone to . i know mine has...

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if you're breaking up, there certainly must be some problems with you yourself, not to say that she has no problem, both parties are at fault. but the priority is to look into YOUR problem because this is the only thing you can do, you have to change yourself to change another.


maybe she saw something in another guy that you're missing etc. I don't know, just maybe. and one thing, don't panic, normally a relationship that emerges after a break up will not last long, bear in mind, if your love for 2 years had been true, i'm sure she'll gradually make comparisons between you two, and she will miss you the way before.


So in the mean time, just act cool, be active, go out with friends, dinners, ignite her curiosity, women want men to want them, so if you don't show that side of you, she'll be worrying, and she'll come talk to you, thinking why you can be so happy. that's the time you must open up to her, slowly.

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Kafani, you are absolutely correct. Your warning should be heeded by all after a breakup. It is such a setback to try and be friends with someone who you loved and watch them be with others. I always recommend strict NC until you are 110% over your ex.

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