any advice?

[just_smile]

hey guys

i really need help.

you see my twin sister has been going out with this guy for a month and a half and today i found out that she is thinking about haveing sex with him, she is only 15 and i dont know how to get her to realise that she might be making the wrong decision. she says that they have spoken about it, but i dont want her to go through with it and then for him to dump her once he has gotten what he want, i dont think he is really like that but i dont want him to do it so that he is the 'big man' in front of his mates.

 

she used to say that she wouldnt do anything that would jepadise her future and career. i tried to tell her that if she got pregnant that he could be done for rape because she is only 15 and not yet legal but she wont listen, i told her, her first time wont be glam, it would be the opposite, it would be painful and uncomfortable but she wont listen, how can i stop her from making a mistake?

 

i dont know whether to leave her to live her own life and make her own mistakes or to butt in.

 

can anyone help? any advice or opinions would be great

~LJ =;

[lil_mamarains13]

Sometimes you can't do anything to stop her. You can explain to her the dangers of possibly getting an STD, getting pregnant, and you also might remind her that it will get around. People will start calling her names, and then other guys might think it is okay to have sex with her and wind up raping her. Just remind her of the dangers of opening herself up to that, and remind her that you love her and care about her and that is why you are concerned. I hope all goes well. Good Luck! I hope I helped some.

[avman]

Well all you can really do is keep offering your advice to her. You can't force her to take it. If she is bound and determined to have sex with her boyfriend then she will do it regardless of others objections.

 

Just make sure she goes in with her eyes wide open. It sounds like you have done a good just explaining the things she needs to be thinking about. You might also pick up some condoms for her. Tell her this doesn't mean that you approve but you just want to make sure she stays safe, doesn't get pregnant, and doesn't catch anything.

 

Oh and just a side note, if she isn't legal and he's of legal age he can usually still be prosecuted whether or not she gets pregnant. I'm not sure what location you are in so the laws may vary.

[Cid]

You have done all that you can do. Now it is up to her to deside what she wants to do.

[just_smile]

hey guys

thanks for replying, i think that ill just have to wait and see what happens.

i just hope she doesnt doanything she will regret later.

 

thanks again

~LJ =;

[neva_black_n_white]

hey just_smile

 

thats some great advice there and im betting she had to thnk long and hard about what you had to say.

 

you say shes a twin well from experiance i know they listen alot more than other sisters lol. look you have given great advice and possibly could b that you have over rated what she has had to say.

 

it may be hard for you to come to terms with the fact that she has thought this through, as you said, which in my eyes is very responsible at that age, and a start. but maybe it should be that she needs all the bad saying to her instead of the good.

 

she doesnt sound stupid as youve said she worried about what is to come of her future, and also look at it this way, even though she might not have taken in all your advice, she has obviously wanted it for her to talk about it with you. like you said she hasnt done it yet and you have to wait for the outcome. give her, her own options in life but also provide the consequences. she has confided in you something that is obviously important.

 

you say that this lad may turn around and be all big infront of his friends, how well do you know him? judgement these days is not fair but the stories are there and your right in what your saying.

 

everyone is coorect on him being prosecuted but have you thought about the aspect of how in depth they have gone with their convesations?

 

good luck and try all you can. theres just a few views for you.

kel