Does no eye contact mean I should give up?

[lynxwizard]

There is a women at work that I am attracted too, but I hardley ever see, we work in a large building.

 

A few months ago I saw her outside the front door waiting for a ride and I said ' It's cold out here', she just glanced at me and did not say anything.

 

A month ago I was walking in the hall and she was walking towards me just coming in for the day, as we passed I said 'Hello' she responded with a very faint 'Hello' and kept right on going.

 

Well today I came in the lunchroom and saw her getting some breakfest, I went to get a soda at the machine then said to myself go back there and talk to her, so I did but by then some guy was talking to her. so I went and sat down by one of the exits, she then was walking out towards me and I glanced at her, and she did not even look at me as she walked by, almost looked like she was doing it on purpose. so I did not say anything.

 

One thing I will say is she does not look very approchable, has kind of a tough look, a friend of mine knows her and said she is divorced as of a year ago, husband cheated on her. my friend said he is going to tell her about a guy who has noticed her here at work and see what she says. but My friend does not see her to often himself, but said he would to that.

 

Anyhow, if a women wont even look at you when she walks by is it a lost cause ?

[AwdreeHpburn]

No - not at all!

 

She sounds sort of shy! I've totally done those same things and have had the same things said about me.

 

She may also have a bit of not really wanting to be approached right now tho. You said she was recently divorced? Maybe she just wants alone time for a bit.

 

I dunno - but I don't think its a lost cause at all!

[i_win]

I can't tell you the number of women that have given me no ounce of indication that they were attracted or into me - only to find out that "they have had the biggest crush on me for so long."

 

Women can be very sneaky about checking men out and letting their interest show.

 

A lot of women also have their guard up and are not going to be friendly and nice to just anyone until they can establish a level of comfort with you.

 

I think these two traits I described go deep to the primitive instincts of our being.

[lynxwizard]

No - not at all!

 

She sounds sort of shy! I've totally done those same things and have had the same things said about me.

 

She may also have a bit of not really wanting to be approached right now tho. You said she was recently divorced? Maybe she just wants alone time for a bit.

 

I dunno - but I don't think its a lost cause at all!

Thanks Awdree, I hope thats it, I am kind of shy myself, so do you think its ok if my friend tells her about me ? becasue like I said I rarely see her and it may be awhile again before I do.

[Stambler]

 

 

She could be shy

She could have a lot on her mind

 

 

I had a similar situation at work. This went on for 2 years (yes 2 years). I was finally introduced to this young lady because we are working on the same project. Now when she sees me she has a big smile, says hello by name, stops top talk if she can....

 

But sometimes she looks preoccupied and walks by as if she doesn't see me. I think some people (myself included) get thinking about problems and shut off the rest of the wolrd!

 

You need to be introduced, then see where it goes!

[AwdreeHpburn]

Yep - I agree with Stambler - get someone to introduce you. Maybe your friend. I think its fine if your friend tells her about you and then maybe introduces you. Chances are really high she'll either already know who he's talking about or will recognise you instantly.

 

All sounds good in your favour. Just be cautious and sensitve, like Stambler said, she could have a lot on her mind.

[ghost69]

she sounds shy. is this high school? lol i know i know you said work.

 

but older women are shy too.

[Stambler]

Better a shy woman than a flirt like my ex

[lynxwizard]

she sounds shy. is this high school? lol i know i know you said work.

 

but older women are shy too.

This is work, shes 32, but I am 48, but I am told I dont look my age, maybe when my friend does get the chance to talk to her she will think I am to old ? she does have a young son too.

[lynxwizard]

No - not at all!

 

She sounds sort of shy! I've totally done those same things and have had the same things said about me.

 

She may also have a bit of not really wanting to be approached right now tho. You said she was recently divorced? Maybe she just wants alone time for a bit.

 

I dunno - but I don't think its a lost cause at all!

she has been divorced for about a year

[Stambler]

This is work, shes 32, but I am 48, but I am told I dont look my age, maybe when my friend does get the chance to talk to her she will think I am to old ? she does have a young son too.

 

I'm almost 48 lynx!

 

I've been out with women as young as 26 and as old as 63. Age matters not!

[drewciouS281]

i dunno man. if i had this happening to me i would say she isnt worth the time. She seems uninterested. Even a shy girl can show some signs of interest and from the sounds of it here she is just keeping to herself.

[Stambler]

^ Then again, what woman wouldn't look at drew

[keenan]

Yeah, I'm unsure as well. She may be shy, but if she were interested in you I would expect her to be a little more generous with smiles and acknowledgments. Definitely get to know her and maybe something will develop, but don't walk in with your hopes too high right off the bat. Good luck!

[lanty3]

She's not interested and showing it. The sneers and headshaking will come next if you continue.

[drewciouS281]

^ Then again, what woman wouldn't look at drew

 

Thanks Brotha!!! Heres a Brewcious from Drewcious..

[lanty3]

She's divorced, she has a young son; most of her thoughts will be devoted to her son, she will concentrate on work in order to provide for him and herself, she most likely has a lot of resentment toward men in general.

Now, you can wait till the kid is about 16-17(of course you'll be in your 60's at least by that time) or you can try to get something going now, but you'll have to accept being the low man on the totem pole in her life.

[keenan]

she most likely has a lot of resentment toward men in general.

 

whoa, that's kind of a big statement! a good portion of divorced women aren't resentful of men (in particular, OR in general).

 

it seems more likely that the OP just hasn't caught her eye yet, so he'll need to make a bit more effort to get to know her before learning whether they have a spark.

 

and even if they don't, that doesn't mean that it's because she has issues. maybe she's taking a break from dating, or maybe she just doesn't find him irresistible. hard to say.

[lanty3]

Hi Keenan, I know that was a big statement and I admit I have quite a bit of resentment of my own. It is something to consider, however.

[corvidae]

Listen to your gut. You know when a woman isn't interested in you.

[lynxwizard]

Well my friend finally got the chance to talk to her, he sent me a email saying she was flattered but is not looking to meet anyone at this time, I replyed back to him asking if she knew who I was and he said 'No, but maybe in the near future!!!'.

 

Not sure what he means by that, wonder if I have any chance with this women.

[corvidae]

That means: give up and move on.

[lynxwizard]

That means: give up and move on.

I dont agree, yes its good to move on but my friend tells me he will bring me up to her again from time to time and maybe when she is ready to meet someone who knows.....

[sparkly]

u definitely should not give up. i do this all the time and i realise it gives the wrong impression but i am very very shy.i find the ones i find it easy to talk to and muck around are the ones who think i am interested when in actual fact i have no interest toward them at all. the ones i am uncomfortable around and hardly talk are usually the ones i am very interested in.so dont give up.im sure theres plenty of girls who are like me.