Would she get jealous and come back?

[curbie]

Hello everyone! I've been coming here for a short time now, and I have found all kinds of great information! I would like opinions from anyone, nothing more...nothing less.

 

I am 24 and my ex g/f is 23. We're currently separated (have been for about 2 or 3 months now) I've already spouted off my story here some time ago. Anyway...from what I have been reading, it seems that I'm breaking some of the "rules"? For instance...people say "Do not have contact with her/him." "Stop all contact and dont talk for about 2 months." Well...here is the deal. My ex and I still do things, (it means a lot to her and myself) we still talk. (We don't always talk about "us" or getting back together...) but we still talk. She told me (to increase my chances per say...) that I was to do the following:

 

1) email her once a day

2) she would call me on the phone once a week (if she had the time)

 

I guess my only fear is that since we didn't stop this communication...did the outcome of her and I getting back together change? In her opinion and my opinion (we know we're not going to forget each other..) but I didn't want to "not talk to her" b/c she told me that she was afraid that I would hate her if I never talked to her. So...it's not that I was forced to keep the lines of communication open, its that I wanted to keep the lines of commication open. I thought it would help and I think she has the same concept. It seems to work out well actually. Could I please get anyone's opinion on this?

 

Also....I just had another opinion to make. Where is it written (or it may be someone else's opinion, which is cool too) that you need to date when you're split up? I dated my ex for 3 years and I did talk to this girl, but it just wasn't the "same". I felt stupid, b/c I didn't know how to talk to the girl, and it all just felt wrong and uncomfortable. It turned out to be a rebound relationship. I look back and see that it was just someone to fill the void because I was hurt. I was just wondering....where is it written that the guy needs to get out and date another girl, so then when your ex caught wind of it....would get jealous and come back?? Wouldn't you think that your ex might just date another guy to get even? Sounds kind of childesh, doesn't it? I dunno....just wondering!

 

Thanks everyone!

[lil_mamarains13]

Truly there are really not any rules. It is up to you and your ex how you carry on the relationship or friendship. Nothing is wrong with you two staying close friends. Just don't let her lay down rules for you like ya'll are sill in the relationship. That is a power hungry type of person who wil wind up hurting you. Be cautious! Nothing is wrong with you dating either because you two are not together. Date if you want don't if you don't want to. It is not her business to know what you do in your personal life unless you want it to be her business. Time heals many wounds, and opens you eyes to the real situation and all the hidden truths. Good Luck, and I hope things work out for you.

[curbie]

Thanks for your reply lil_mamarains13. Would anyone else care to share some opinions?

[Beec]

There are no hard and fast rules. And if there were, "Rules were made to be broken."

 

That said, keeping the lines of communication open is not bad thing. But being dependent on an ex or letting them think you are dependent is coutner-productive, if you want to get back together. No one wants to date someone who is more dependent on them than vice versa. Co-dependence is not good either. We each need to be able to function and have our own lives. If you want her back, you need to be able to let her know that you want her back, but that you have no desparate need for her. At the same time, you should be letting her know you have confidence in the idea that if she knew what was good for her, she'd be asking for you to take her back. Yes, it's a game that you will be playing, just know that you are playing for the right reasons.

[curbie]

Thank you for your reply Beec. It is appreciative. Her and I support one another, but are not dependant upon one another like you stated. So I am on the right track when you just made your opinon. It is a game, and I support her and she supports me. We are playing for the right reasons I believe. Thanks again!

[slave4yoo]

ok im a girl dealing with a terrible ex bf who has started to sate around--

No, seeing another girl will not make her come back.. Yes, she will get jealous, VERY jealous, but she will feel unwanted and it will make her move on quicker...because ur gonna give off the vibe that the relationship didnt mean THAT much to you, with you seeing someone new already...

 

she will just think gee maybe we are better off single

 

 

and screw those rebound relationships... they are uncomfortable and weird, and if you ask me, IT MAKES YOU FEEL EVEN WORSE

[curbie]

slave4yoo

 

Thanks for your feedback. I did feel uncomfortable and it did make me feel worse. I have not been talking to any other girls since our breakup. I did talk to one girl, but this was the rebound relationship and I only talked to her for like 3 weeks. Nothing serious ever came out of it. I didn't tell my ex, until like 2 weeks afterwards. I was afraid to, but I did anyway...not to make her jealous, but I was just talking and going on and on...then it just came out. So....then she was talking to other guys, too. But her and I are not commited to anyone else. She just wants her time to think, given space, etc....before she can tell me if she can be a couple again. I've been trying harder and harder now to be strong. It's been 2 months since our breakup and we still do things, and talk..so hopefully one day it will come.

[Cid]

Only time will tell. But if you guys deside to get back to gether you should take it slow.