he's dead

[buffalosoldier]

Hey.

 

I dont know what to do with myself.

 

I just found out one of my childhood friends was killed in a car accident . I dont know what to feel at the moment,im in total shock.We used to be best friends when we were younger,i cant even imagine what his family are going through.i cant believe he's dead.i only spoke to him a few weeks ago, and he was fine,everything was normal.You wouldnt have even dreamt that this would happen.

 

Im in such shock.

 

 

If anyone can offer any words of comfort id be grateful. thanks

[Iwanthim]

I am soo sorry to hear about your childhood friend. But if you were close the family i say show up and gave them more support.

 

But support words are...

 

God just needed other angel and he was the one God needed to keep people like us safe..

[charmed]

Hi Buffalosoldier,

 

I'm sorry to hear that you lost someone close. It is times like this that you can re-evaluate things a bit and also look back on the relationship you had with the person.

 

Perhaps, calling to the family and bringing perhaps some symbol of sorts to them. Tell them how much this person meant to you, and how much you liked him. That will help you know you have acknowledged him, and let the family know that he was valued by people while he was here.

 

Take care,

 

~

[akatoro]

Hey there, Buffalo.

 

I am very sad that your childhood friend had to die.

It's always hard when it happens and especially when they're young and close to us. What once was happy now is sad and you wish that you could turn back time and just tell them not to get into the car.

Many people say that we were put on this place so that we could surmount to and accomplish something. I also believe that it is so. But why did he have to go then? There are so many questions running through the head of those who knew and loved him. It's just a big waste what happened, he had plans and dreams like any other man beside us. But rest assured that he isn't gone. Though you cannot visit him and hug him, he is a part of you and who you are. Friends do have that effect that they make impacts on you and imho, they form who you are and are to become. He still does.

 

When a friend of mine killed himself I found that the song they played for his memorial service, Beatles - Let it be, was very helpful.

I wish you all the best.. I find it hard for me to explain what I want right now and so I cannot tell you what I hope will come. Take comfort in that he's with you in your heart, mind and memories.

[The Morrigan]

I'm really sorry, I've lost family members, but never a close friend my own age, I can't imagine how it must feel.

 

Maybe write down in whatever style suits you, some of the best things you remember about your friend, and give it to his family, it's always a bit of a comfort to know that people who were special to us were to others as well, and that some of the qualities we saw in them, others saw as well. If you have any mutual friends, get together with them, and laugh and cry a little over the memories you shared. There's pain in the loss, that there's a hole in the place your friend had in your life - but there's comfort in sharing the memories with people who also knew him, that you know he was loved and appreciated, and he'll always have a place in your heart, even though he's not physically with you anymore. I know people say not to grieve because it's not what he'd want - but even if you try not to grieve for him, you have to for yourself, for the loss you're feeling, and there's no shame in letting it run it's course so you can heal.

[buffalosoldier]

Thankyou for your kind words everyone. i literally cried even more reading those posts

 

i more shocked than anything.i just cant believe it,im gonna wake up soon i hope.

 

i just cant stop thinking what if he didnt go out that night?what if he had stayed at home? he probably wouldnt be dead right now.is this fate? is our fate already decided like this?

 

i cant speak,i dont know what to think. he would have been in so much pain before he died aswell,he was literally crushed by a car.

 

sorry for rambling. it just goes to show,none of us really know whether we are going to be here tomorrow or not do we

[akatoro]

No we don't, Buffalosoldier.

It is impossible to know and I'm guessing what is best is to appreciate what we've got and what great persons that surround us. It is strange that it should take a loss of someone close so that we can further appreciate our loved ones, is it not?

[Self Discoverer]

Hi Buffalo

 

Can I just add my condolances along with everyone else.

 

There really isn't anything I or anybody else can say to make you feel any better. The first reaction when you lose somebody without warning is shock and bewilderment at why this happened.

 

 

It is important to go through the whole grieving process. You need to learn to say goodbye to what has gone and in time accept what has happened.

 

Human life is precious and it is painful to see it wasted.

 

Look after yourself

[faeriechyld]

Hello buffalo soldier,

 

First of all I offer you a huge *hug*. I have been through what you are going through many times, so I know how you must be feeling. I lost a couple of friends in high school to car accidents, it is truly sad when someone so young dies without warning.

 

As was said before, nothing can make you feel 100% better, however it is comforting to know that people are there for you when you need them. Even quite a few complete strangers are coming to your aid, so I hope you are taking comfort in knowing that you have support whenever you need it.

 

I also suggest strongly to go to his family because not only will you be able to comfort them, but they will be able to comfort you. If all of you are able to come together and support each other, it will help you all to get through this. Take comfort in your own friends and family as well.

 

It is hard to know that your friend went through so much pain, I can fully sympathize with that. But now your friend is not in pain anymore, and has found peace.

 

Please continue to keep us all updated through this hard time for you. We all care about you and want to be sure you are doing well.

 

*hugs* We're here for you.

[avman]

buffalosoldier,

 

My deepest sympathies to you on your loss. I have lost friends myself in this way and it is never an easy thing. Its shocking to lose someone so unexpectedly. And we spend all of our time asking why? Why did it happen? What if he had only left earlier, or later?

 

I encourage you to attend the funeral if at all possible. As faeriechyld mentions, contact between you and his family can be a tremendous help to both sides. Both of you can offer comfort to each other in this difficult time. It will really help his family to know that you cared about him enough to attend. Perhaps you and they can exchange stories about him and remember the good times that you shared together.

 

Time is the ultimate healer for this. Take it slow and easy today/tonight, this kind of news can really take a lot out of you. And I wish you comfort and healing.

 

avman

[buffalosoldier]

Thankyou so much faeriechyld and avman,its so nice to see warmth and care even between strangers.

 

Its just so hard to believe,situations like this are things that happen to ''other'' people,you know what i mean? i know it sounds thoughtless but i never imagined in a million years that someone ''i'' knew would die. he was so young. 18 is not the age you expect someone to die. its weird i remember he was always looking after me,at one point i used to call him ''dad'' as a joke coz he was so protective, and once i was riding a motorbike around and crashed it when he was there.i wasnt hurt,it was actually quite funny, i crashed up a hill and came flying off and everyone called me batman after that. But he was giving me a lecture about how i could have really hurt myself and he didnt want me to get hurt.

 

and now look whats happened,he riding a motorbike,gets crushed by a car and dies at the scene.

 

It seems unreal, i mean i spoke to this man,he was my best friend when we were younger and we used to talk on the phone for hours trying to set each other up on dates and stuff.this is so weird,i mean i might not be here tomorrow,nobody knows their fate and thats really scary to me.

[lil_mamarains13]

I am sorry for your loss. It is always hard losing someone you love and care about. I was told by someone once, and it has helped me through the hard times, that the man upstairs has a plan for us. God needed him for a special reason, and the only thing we can do is pray that he fulfills that mission to his best. Like some of the previous posters said that he will always be with you.

[avman]

I understand. I have lost two friends on motorbikes/motorcycles. Both crashed into trucks. And both were young, 19 and 20 with their whole lives ahead of them. It was so unfair, and yet there was nothing I could do to reverse the situation.

 

When my second friend died, the entire office I was at pretty much shut down for the day. We were all there, but in shock. We cried with each other. And then we all shared stories about Hal. Everybody liked him. He lived in Ottawa, and we happened to work for an airline. So about 50 of us flew up to the funeral. His family couldn't believe that we would all come. And for those people who couldn't make the trip, we held a memorial service here locally to remember him.

 

Just remember him, and share with friends. You aren't meant to go through this alone.

[neva_black_n_white]

hey buffalosoldier.

i am sorry to hear of your loss, through such a tragic accident. i hope that you begin to deal with this and understand how you feel.

 

i understand what you mean by the not knowing how the family will be, with you saying that you were close friends when younger, it could be a good idea for you to ring the family, or form some kind of contact or thought in rememberance?

 

good luck and i wish you all the best.

kel

[Johnny_has]

Sorry to hear about your loss Buffalosoldier, the only thing that will help heal your pain, I believe, is time. Death of a close friend or loved one is a very painful experience. Be strong for your late friends family though.

 

Time heals everything and he will live on through all the peoples lives he has touched while alive.

[Cid]

I feel bad for you and I know what you are going through in the last year I have just had a good friend die in Iraq he was 25. And to top it off my coz was in a car crash and will probley not make it she is only 17. I know all to well what you are going through. I have lost frineds before them but I have never greaved for them. I wish that you did not have to feel what ypu are feeling right now. Just remember it was there time to go up to god. Dont live in what if???? But remember who they are and what they did when there where alive. (stands up picks up a glass "I would like to say a tost? To all that we have lost I wish the best of time up there and I will see you all sooner or later." take big gulp and sits back down) With that said I would like to tell you if you need someone to talk to that has been through this before pm me.