For the first time brokenhearted... my experiences.

[bobsiesprincess]

In August last year I got dumped. I had been with the guy for 2 years and he was my first love. I was head over heels in love with him. Words cannot possibly describe how truly devastated I was when he dumped me.

 

I simply could not function. I quit my job. I honestly believed my life was not worth living. I did not think anything would ever get better. I didnt eat or sleep for months. I cried constantly for the first few months. I didnt have any close friends. Not many people I could rely on. I felt so alone.

 

I prayed every single night that he would change his mind and come back to me. I didnt want to see anyone. I had no life whatsoever. I just sat in my room crying and googling stupid plans to get him back.

 

I was put on anti depressants, pills for panic attacks and sleeping tablets. Things couldnt get much worse. I seriously considered not going back to uni because I didnt think I would cope.

 

But I did. Things are better. Getting over a broken heart is a long, windy road.... there is times you feel like you are back to the beginning. but I PROMISE YOU ALL. you will get over it. you will be happy again one day.

 

Slowly but surely, I found my self crying less. and eventually thinking about him less.

 

I went completely NC.

I went to the gym all the time. i was soooo motivated. its a great stress reliever.

eventually i started forcing myself to go out and socialise even though i never felt like it.

i threw myself into my uni work...and did really well last semester.

i threw myself into driving lessons and passed my test.

 

i looked at my life, though about what i needed to change to make me happy. what i wanted to do. I realised that I have to be happy in myself and that I should never compromise my dreams for anyone.

 

Now, 9 months on, I can hardly believe how far ive come (have a look at my online journal and youll see)

I am almost done with uni (the ex dropped out and is jobless!)

My social life is better.

I have big plans - Im off to work in America all summer then going to live in Spain for a while.

And I have now met someone else (NEVER thought I would be saying that), although I am taking it really slowly.

 

I cant lie, I do still think about my ex from time to time, Im not 100% over him, when I see him out I get sad. But I know for sure that life does get better and I will be 100% over him in the future.

 

I want you to all know that no matter what, you can do this. Determine your own happiness. Go out there and get what you want from life. Once you realise you can get through this, you will see all the lessons going through a bad breakup has taught you, and you will realise how strong you are and that you can do anything.

[tazthecat]

Another positive and inspiring post!!..Thank, I'm sure your words here will give some faith in all of us hurting..

[emailas]

Nice post Good for you and for all you've achieved

 

I am a big believer that when relationships go bust- they teach us more about ourselves than the person were with. It forces us to identify, recognise the need to change and grow from our experience. Also, I've notcied with most hardships like breakups, while one door closes at least 2 others open!

[bobsiesprincess]

I am a big believer that when relationships go bust- they teach us more about ourselves than the person were with. It forces us to identify, recognise the need to change and grow from our experience.

 

This is sooo true. I think I would even go so far as saying that I am now pleased this breakup happened. It has taught me soo much about myself, relationships and life. I have changed so much for the better and if I was still with my ex it would have never happened. I know exactly what I want from life and from a partner, and im not gonna settle for anything less, or ever believe i need to be with someone else to be complete.

[Brokenhearted87]

Wow that post is so inspiring. If I can achieve even half of those personal goals and improvements (my own obviously)....in nine months......I will be much further along and content with life than I was before I met my ex! It's been 5 weeks and I am still very much at the initial stage you described. Neck deep in it!! After how long did you just snap out of it and start being so productive? Again, really positive post. Thanks!

[bobsiesprincess]

Wow that post is so inspiring. If I can achieve even half of those personal goals and improvements (my own obviously)....in nine months......I will be much further along and content with life than I was before I met my ex! It's been 5 weeks and I am still very much at the initial stage you described. Neck deep in it!! After how long did you just snap out of it and start being so productive? Again, really positive post. Thanks!

 

em well it all sort of came slowly..... i started the gym and driving lessons straight away because i had quit my job and needed something to do to not think about my ex (of course i did and spent alot of time crying on the treadmill haha). about after a month i made the decision to go to uni. but i dont think it was until after about 3 months that i REALLY snapped myself out of it and started getting myself back out there. it wasnt easy, i mean at first it was just like going through the steps, but i got there.

[equinox]

Good to hear that you got over it. By keeping your self busy you definitly did the right thing.

[Brokenhearted87]

em well it all sort of came slowly..... i started the gym and driving lessons straight away because i had quit my job and needed something to do to not think about my ex (of course i did and spent alot of time crying on the treadmill haha). about after a month i made the decision to go to uni. but i dont think it was until after about 3 months that i REALLY snapped myself out of it and started getting myself back out there. it wasnt easy, i mean at first it was just like going through the steps, but i got there.

 

I really want to get to that point! Wish I had a time machine!! I have decided the best way to get over this is just to get on with plans I never quite got around to when I was with him (driving test is one of mine too!). I think the term "fake it till you make it" applies to the going through the motions part.......though I still don't feel like going out socialising at the moment.

[bobsiesprincess]

I really want to get to that point! Wish I had a time machine!! I have decided the best way to get over this is just to get on with plans I never quite got around to when I was with him (driving test is one of mine too!). I think the term "fake it till you make it" applies to the going through the motions part.......though I still don't feel like going out socialising at the moment.

 

yeh thats what i was like, it was like i wanted to do the driving, but when we were together i just didnt get roung to it, spent too much time with him. and i KNOW i couldnt have left him to go off to work in america which is a life long dream, because i would have missed him too much.

 

dont worry, the socialising will come in time. tbh tho, i never felt like it, after i gave myself a few months of grieving in my room myself (which did me the world of good i think) it just got to the stage of having to force myself to go out, and it got easier.

 

if you keep yourself busy and looking forward, youll be at this point in no time

[Brokenhearted87]

Thanks bobsie

 

yeah, I know myself, and I'm a private person and get down about things very easily, so I know I need this "alone" grieving time........even if it does seem unhealthy to just be holed up in my room all day. And I know what you mean about the plans, I have a few things I always planned to do. I met him, and they just went on the backburner and kept putting them on the long finger. So, when I'm a bit more healed, I'm going to dive into them. I was also guilty of building my life around him I think, and if one thing has come out of all this I have learned that that is a HUGE mistake because when things go wrong, you're left in a right mess. So I won't be doing that again!

[bobsiesprincess]

I was also guilty of building my life around him I think, and if one thing has come out of all this I have learned that that is a HUGE mistake because when things go wrong, you're left in a right mess. So I won't be doing that again!

 

yeh defo.... learned that one the hard way! haha

[jenna981]

That makes 3 of us that have went or going through similar situations. The driving/license thing is something I have to do too. Working out/gym was something always did, but not so much when I had a boyfriend due to time. It's something I'm getting back into and it does really help for awhile and a little after.

 

I was alone most the time before my boyfriend, so when he came into my life he became my everything. He was even supposed to help me with the driving thing, so with him gone I really am lost. Slowly have to get used to the new life without him.