bmwm3 Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 I have been seeing this girl for 3weeks now... on friday it seemed like she statred being a little distant... to my surprise we had sex first time on sat night.. she didnt call on sun.. i text she text back... didnt call yesterday, or today... before friday she would text every morning... and thruout the day... but nothing... so i refuse to call or text to see if she would first... is she waiting for me to call.. i am wrong by not calling.. what should i do? i dont want her to think after sex i am not intrested.. but i dont wanna seem pathetic by calling even though it seemed like she started getting distant... but why would she have sex on sat? so confusing... Link to comment
kitkat1215 Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 haha...this situation seems to happen a lot. I would call if you feel like calling. If not, wait for her call. The more you analyze it the more awkward the phone call will seem. I doubt she will think u are pathetic. Just call and ask her how she is doing...she will appreciate it. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 didn't you start a thread about this yesterday? how you hadn't heard from her? want some answers? call and if you get voice mail leave a message. then take a huge breath. calm down. Link to comment
bmwm3 Posted April 29, 2008 Author Share Posted April 29, 2008 ghost... i am calm.. no problems here... it just feels like it has turned into a phone standoff.. i thought she would of called by now... but hasnt... so i was wondering if she is thinking the same thing why i havent called... as childish as it sounds i dont wanna give in.. i made the last attempt on sat and sun... and she called back.. but now it seems like she is being distant.... i just need to call or make attempt... but i dont want to... childish huh.. or pride thing i dont know... Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 Don't let it become a phone standoff. Pick up the phone and get your answers. Seriously man, if you like her call her. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 Don't let it become a phone standoff. Pick up the phone and get your answers. Seriously man, if you like her call her. i agree. just don't call a bunch of times. one call, one message if no answer. all you gotta do. if you have already done this, do not do it again. Link to comment
bmwm3 Posted April 29, 2008 Author Share Posted April 29, 2008 I texted on sun... she responded back.. but neither of us called or text since then.... i was gonna text her saying.... HI HOW IS IT GOING... I WISH I KNEW WHY YOU WERE SO DISTANT.... i dont know about the last part it sound kinda desprete doesnt it?.... Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 I texted on sun... she responded back.. but neither of us called or text since then.... i was gonna text her saying.... HI HOW IS IT GOING... I WISH I KNEW WHY YOU WERE SO DISTANT.... i dont know about the last part it sound kinda desprete doesnt it?.... do not text that. don't text anything. dial her up. say something meaningful. leave a message, 'hey it's beemer, was calling to see how you are doing. hit me up when you can.' end of call. Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 I wouldn't text either. You need to just talk this out. Be honest. Then you'll feel better. Link to comment
boo121 Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 no point in repeating what has already been said... if you get a feeling that she is pulling back, you pull back further. avoid the desperate text message (i hvnt heard from you in like 7 minutes, how are you doing?) Link to comment
boo121 Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 I wouldn't text either. You need to just talk this out. Be honest. Then you'll feel better. yes if you are in a relationship. But at the first few dates, it comes accross as insecure. Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 yes if you are in a relationship. But at the first few dates, it comes accross as insecure. he said they had been seeing each other for 3 weeks......why not ask what's up with the distance? Link to comment
Censored Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 Pick up the phone and call you big baby. Link to comment
bmwm3 Posted April 29, 2008 Author Share Posted April 29, 2008 I havent called her yet.... my phone is dead.. waiting to charge then i was gonna call... i just dont understand we had sex first time sat night... and she said she had a great time.. she had big O 4 times... lol.. why take distance after sat night... i thought it would make us closer.. i dont know if she wants me to chase her.. or is scared... very weird first time this has happened to me... i dont understand... and feel stupid talking to her about it.. but that would be the best.... Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 I havent called her yet.... i just dont understand we had sex first time sat night... and she said she had a great time.. she had big O 4 times... lol.. why take distance after sat night... i thought it would make us closer.. i dont know if she wants me to chase her.. or is scared... very weird first time this has happened to me... i dont understand... and feel stupid talking to her about it.. but that would be the best.... nothing ventured, nothing gained. either the relationship gets better, or she keeps getting distant and you never know why. wouldn't you rather just take a risk and ask man? I know I would, and I'm a chick. If I was in this situation with a guy, I'd ask. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 change your voice mail so when she calls it says 'i wont the standoff'. that would be awesome. Link to comment
bmwm3 Posted April 30, 2008 Author Share Posted April 30, 2008 Ghost- LOL .. so i called last night at 9pm... got no phone call back.. yeah that was great... i sent a text this morning ..good morning.. she said she had been busy with work.. and not feeling good... yeah i call BS on that.. cant take two min to text.. whatever.. i didnt show it in my text.. i just said i understand.. and supportive... and i know this sat she is going to a party.. that her friend invited her too.. this same friend used to be her ex-bf and he still wants to be with her... she says she doesnt but still tries to be his friend... IMO its just leading him on... she said she is overwhelmed with work and the thing on sat.. i dont know what that means.. this is why she could have been distant.. who knows Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 Ghost- LOL .. so i called last night at 9pm... got no phone call back.. yeah that was great... i sent a text this morning ..good morning.. she said she had been busy with work.. and not feeling good... yeah i call BS on that.. cant take two min to text.. whatever.. i didnt show it in my text.. i just said i understand.. and supportive... and i know this sat she is going to a party.. that her friend invited her too.. this same friend used to be her ex-bf and he still wants to be with her... she says she doesnt but still tries to be his friend... IMO its just leading him on... she said she is overwhelmed with work and the thing on sat.. i dont know what that means.. this is why she could have been distant.. who knows i actually meant to say 'won' instead of 'wont'. but i think you got it. anyways, forget this girl. i bolded the big deal here. don't read into any of that. the answer is there. DRAMA! and a girl that isn't emotionally ready for anything. Link to comment
bmwm3 Posted April 30, 2008 Author Share Posted April 30, 2008 yes, forgeting this girl would be the best, save me lots of headache, worrying, money.. oh but she is so hot and has a body like a goodess, workout 2hrs a day to keep it... and we enjoy the same things.... but she is 22 and has lots of drama... man why do things have to be so diffucult... Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 yes, forgeting this girl would be the best, save me lots of headache, worrying, money.. oh but she is so hot and has a body like a goodess, workout 2hrs a day to keep it... and we enjoy the same things.... but she is 22 and has lots of drama... man why do things have to be so diffucult... you let her beauty/attraction almost burn you. Link to comment
boo121 Posted May 3, 2008 Share Posted May 3, 2008 he said they had been seeing each other for 3 weeks......why not ask what's up with the distance? he can do what he wants, but if she isnt showing any interest, theres no point in asking this. just get on with something else. Link to comment
bmwm3 Posted May 3, 2008 Author Share Posted May 3, 2008 a little update for you guys... well we didnt talk for 2 days then we texted eachother.. had a long talk later on the day.. she was just scared that after we had sex i would get atteched, needy, clingy,, from her past experinces... and i am the oppisite of that.. and i told her that.. i have backed off even more... and guess what she has picked up the intrest even more... funny huh... hang out last night.. got along great and fun.. and she texted and called today... the funny thing is that i think she is prob not right for me.. short term.. fling.. she is young so it seems like she wants that to.. i hate wasting my time and hers... Link to comment
boo121 Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 kool. A lot of guys think the ball is always in her court, actually it isn't. - you can decide where this goes too. If you are both interested and having fun, are you really wasting each others time? Anyway good to see that this might go somewhere - if you want it to Link to comment
servedcold Posted May 4, 2008 Share Posted May 4, 2008 Hmm, even in this day and age, if you have sex with a woman and do not call her the next day, not text, not email, but pick up the phone and call, they will never tell you, but it really makes most of them quite angry. Outmoded, old-fashioned, yes, still true though. Not saying this is necessarily what happened in your case, but it sounds like it a bit as she may be projecting with all the tough talk about men becoming smitten with her and needy. In the past, when women say that to me, it usually means they are developing feelings for me, are uncomfortable with my keeping cool, and are seeking to stir the pot. It may be the case that her feelings were hurt by you not calling, hence a defense mechanism. Just one possible explanation for her attitude afterwards and continuing. Best wishes. Link to comment
bmwm3 Posted May 4, 2008 Author Share Posted May 4, 2008 servecold... if i am reading your post right... remember after me and her had sex last sat... i am the one who called first next day.. too see how she was and thats when she sounded distant.. so i decedied not to call till she did... and i finally ended up texting her 2 days later.. and thats when we had the talk... and she explained that she thought i wanted something serious, and she doesnt have tie for that know.. and i explained that lets just go with the flow and have fun... with no expaction on the rel... Link to comment
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