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Need your advice: My BF of 2 years just asked for a break

Scorpio1984

By Scorpio1984
in Breaking Up Advice

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Scorpio1984 Newbie

Scorpio1984

Posted
Posted

Hey everyone,

 

I am new to this forum and had a very important situation I hope you can help me with.

 

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for over 2 years, he's Russian and I'm Guyanese.

 

2 weeks ago, he told me he was going to call me when he got home from work and he didn't and when I did get to talk to him the following day, he seems more defensive. He tried to apologize over the phone but I didn't want to hear it because I felt that he made a conscious decision to not call me for no apparent reason. Things escalated and he asked for a break. He said that he needed time to figure out why he keeps messing up the relationship. He said he needed 4-5 days.

 

I'm pretty impatient and couldn't wait, so I called on the 3rd day to find out if he was contemplating whether or not he wanted to be with me. Anyways he said he wants to be in the relationship. He kept making all these dates to meet up and discuss and work our issues out but he always had something coming up i.e work, school or picking up a friends car. To make a long story short, on Sunday he said he was coming by to see me to discuss the problem for good, after he met with his group at school. He even asked me to come down to school (we go to the same school) but I declined. He ended up calling me at 8pm on Sunday to say that he needs more time and wanted to extend the break yet again. I don't know what the hell to do. One time he said he wants to realize how much he misses me, then the next time he said, he wants the time to figure out why he doesn't show how much he cares and finally on another occasion he said he wants to know if he wants to be in a relationship or not ( mind you this is all in the same conversation)

 

I called him back and said that I don't have time for this and he said lets meet up on Tuesday (which is tomorrow) to discuss the issues however, he is afraid that it will be me telling him what to do and how to do it and basically we will end up right back where we started. He also said he feels a bit rush to fix the issues because I wouldn't agree to the break.

 

I will not give the break because I feel that his reasons doesn't justify a break. to me it seems that he doesn't know why he needs a break because of all the different reasons.

 

I am not concerned that he is cheating or found someone new. He works from 7am-7pm and then goes to school at night until 9pm and besides we have/had a decent relationship.

 

Please help, what should I do on Tuesday and ultimately in the long run.

 

Thanks

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ifloatabove Apprentice

ifloatabove

Posted
Posted

I didn't give my ex a break when he asked for one (maybe I wouldn't be here if this happened, who knows!) but eventually three months later he broke up with me. You need to respect his decision right now. Pressuring him to figure himself out will only push him further away. Give him the space he wants.

 

Honestly, I think breaks are a prelude to a breakup. I hope yours works out for you though. But really it's like a way for the person to let you down gently. Maybe I'm bitter!

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AronSchneider Apprentice

AronSchneider

Posted
Posted
I didn't give my ex a break when he asked for one (maybe I wouldn't be here if this happened, who knows!) but eventually three months later he broke up with me. You need to respect his decision right now. Pressuring him to figure himself out will only push him further away. Give him the space he wants.

 

Honestly, I think breaks are a prelude to a breakup. I hope yours works out for you though. But really it's like a way for the person to let you down gently. Maybe I'm bitter!

 

I agree, Give him space! Just say..I think its best that we have break both of us. Say that to him!

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