Is he falling out of love with me? :(

[rmb2b]

Hi,

I'm not really sure what to do... I met this man about a year ago on the net, we really hit it off, clicked very well, etc. About 3 months of getting to know each other, I decided to be brave and tell him about my feelings for him, he reciprocated and it was amazing, we would email everyday constantly. I became more and more important to him in his life. I eventually went to see him, and it was like magic....seriously, I'm not the type of girl to rush into things, but I honestly felt totally loved and happy. The problem started I guess after a couple of months of "going out" he got this really demanding job, he's usually there for 10-12 hours daily, 5 days a week...when he got the job I immediately noticed a change, he hardly returned my emails....he still calls me everyday, but he would seem distracted....we started arguing a little because I felt neglected and he felt like I was always "picking" on him....he says he wants a future with me, that he wants to marry me eventually, but it scares me because I feel like I'm not making him happy like I used to.... I feel like he doesn't need me like he did and that the sweet things I do for him go unnoticed or unmentioned....I also am concerned because it feels like I really have to pry things out of him when I'm trying to dicsuss our feelings and whatnot....he will keep saying nothing's wrong, and about after 20 minutes of questioning, he'll finally come out and say....but nothing I seem to do or say makes him feel any better.... I love him so much but I feel kind of hopeless sometimes.... I feel like if I wasn't trying so hard, we'd eventually go our separate ways....it really hurts to be in this situation again , especially after my last relationship (I basically did all the work and was unappreciated).... I'm not looking for any special rewards or anything... I just want to know that the things I do make him happy.... I just dont know what to do...is it the distance? his job? or is he just tired of me... what do you all think

[claudia]

wow i can really relate to what u are going through i mean i was in the same exact situation that u are facing from meeting online to visiting the magic thing the whole nine. But its four months since he broke up with me saying that he lost his feelings for me . Like u i was wondering was it the distance? was it me ? but its not u its him he is pulling away from u for whatever reasons and u should let him pull away dont chase him maybe u can just give him some time and alittle space but u should tell him how u feel first and then do the space thing and see what happens .

 

i hope this was a little helpful its not much advice but its just to let u know that u are not alone . *hugs*

[radiotone]

wow, it seems everything should be going well

 

it really depresses me. not that i'm saying anything or something, i mean to me - being a guy and being in a situation like that (online relationship)

it just sounds to me he's in a mood where he's sorta thinking about things and just sorta busy with what his job has to offer him. i know sometimes i go unappreciative about the little things my girlfriend does for me, and it's the distance indeed.

 

my advice is to just give him a bit space and let him go through it. if he really sounds distant, then bring it up gently. tell him how you feel and how he makes you feel. i really hate it how people just go unappreciative of things. i know i have. and it makes me feel like a bad person. but it's just the distance and everything. (sorry to compare you to my situation) all of that just hit me when i read your post

 

i really hope everything works out for you

never give up. it clearly shows that he means a lot to you

 

never let go of that

 

good luck

[kuhl282000]

Hi

 

Sometimes when you get a demanding job and have to put in long hours it changes things. Everyone only has only so much time to invest. Trust me he knows if you are making him happy. Relationships are like plants they are growing thing. And you have to water them everyday. From a guy standpoint seems to me he has not broken off the daily contact with you. That is a good thing. It is usually when the calls stop coming is when you should worry. Sounds like he told you everything is o.k. You may be reading something into it that really is not their at all. Maybe he feels he is trying to stay focused so he can make lots of money so he will able able to offer you something in the way of security. Men have to have something to offer women, that is the way it is for guys. I would suggest stop pushing his buttons and maybe the fighting will stop. Fighting over time ends up killing the love in the relationship. And when the time clock comes into play and you feel you are being neglected. I have found you have to make time to see each other.

 

Good Luck

Kuhl