Did I scared him off?

[loveyourself5]

So I have been dating my crush for the past 3wks. We talk on the phone/txt message throughout the week etc. We shared our first kiss 2 days ago, which we both have been wanting. The kiss was everything a first kiss should feel like, afterwards we huged a lot, then kissed some more. After we said goodnight he mentioned he would give me a call the next day, and ever since I have not heard from him at all. He usually txt me to see how my day is going, or to say something funny. I don't know what I could have possibly done wrong, or what I didn't do. From his response to the kiss I could tell he was enjoying it also, so I don't know what could be going through his head right now. I want to hang out with him tomorrow, and I was thinking of sending him a txt to ask him how he's been. Maybe he's just waiting for me to call him or whatever, I don't know. Why does dating has to be so difficult? Why do some men have to be so difficult?

[MorrowJ]

If I were you, I'd go ahead and give the boy a call. It's been two days since he said he'd contact you after all. I'd simply ask if he'd been busy and then see if he wanted to make plans to get together again. If he enjoyed being with you the other day like you say so, chances are that he may have had other obligations

 

Worst case scenario: there's a chance he may be playing you for a fool since it's only been three weeks since you've been going out with this person. Simple advice: Listen to that voice of reason.

[darkblue]

I don't think that not calling you once means that men are difficult or that dating is difficult.

 

Many many things could have happened which meant that he couldn't spend time with you.

 

You simply don't know until you either talk to him or you wait until he talks to you.

 

I would suggest thinking absolutely nothing of it and getting in touch with him to find out if he wants to spend time with you.

[knightNshiningarmor]

"aut vincere aut mori"...either conquer or die? dark...been awhile since my last latin class

[darkblue]

Correct Knight.

 

That's the literal translation

[stella74]

He could be a player or something could have come up. Personally, I wouldn't like it if a guy I've only recently started dating told me he was going to call and he didn't, especially right after we've become more intimate. That shows unreliability. Even if something came up, it doesn't take much to call or text just to say hi. I don't think you've done anything to scare him off. If he's shy, maybe he's getting cold feet or unsure how you feel about him. Or maybe he's just not interested anymore. You really have no idea what's going on his head.

 

I'd suggest waiting a few more days to see if he calls. If you still don't hear from him, you could call him to say hi and to see how he's doing. But don't ask him out until you get the sense he's still interested.

 

Dating requires a lot of patience, tolerance, and self-respect.

[Ammy]

Hmm.. I don't get that either. There could be any number of reasons, but there is no point analysing it this early on.

 

Whilst it would be preferable if he contacted you first, I see no harm in sending him a text and seeing what happens. Just send the one text and gauge his response.

 

If he is keen and eager, then put the 2 days down to him also being a little unsure as to where he stands with you.

 

If he is cold, or distant... then cut your losses and don't contact him again. He will then either realise he needs to put in more effort, or fizzle and then you're better off without him.

 

I wish it didn't have to be so confusing too! Hope this works out for you sweets!

 

Ammy

[Batya33]

I agree with Stella - the only issue I see here is that he said he would call and he didn't - that early on it's concerning that he did not follow through on what he said he would do.

 

I wouldn't call him and I wouldn't label him as "difficult" or a "player" - my thoughts are that either he got a bit busy over the last few days, or that he also was seeing someone else who things got more serious with.

 

when I was your age (well in my early 20s, not sure how old you are but that sounds right), similar thing happened - on our second official date - maybe dating two weeks (but back then no cell phones or e-mail so maybe we spoke twice by phone) we shared an intimate kiss goodnight. Then no call. )Well, back then, no caller ID so after a few days I started calling him and hanging up every time someone said hello (I wanted to see if he was home). )

 

Finally he called me a week later to get together - the truth was, I didn't really know it then but he was dating someone else as well (but not cheating) and he was very busy with grad school exams). It took another 4 months before he stopped wanting to go out with the boys every weekend and stopped seeing the other girl. He did get more reliable, however (and he ended up proposing with a lovely ring a few years later, but I declined and that's another story). It all depends what you're willing to tolerate.

 

I am still glad, looking back, that I didn't call him - he needed a bit of a challenge at his age/stage (early 20s plus used to partying with the boys, right out of college) and didn't want to feel tied down. I think I wasn't so good at hiding my crush when we were together, so he had enough ego stroking without my also calling him early on. Obviously that's just one experience of many.