so confused can't stop calling

[stuckonlex]

I was with this girl for 2 years we lived together for the last 6 months. She was telling me for awhile that she wasn't happy with her life not because of me but because of a miscarrage that she had, she never has gotten over that. During our relationship we had our ups and downs broke up every now and then but we always got back together. She was and still is the love of my life, i feel so alone and in pain and the only time that i feel right or whole is when i talk to her or see her. Rate now she says she just needs her space to figure herself out and to figure what she wants in life and then maybe we can get back together. She has already been with another guy atleast once, and that makes me sick to my stomach thinking of her being with someone else. She says that she still loves me and that she wants me in her life and that she misses me. I know that I still love her and that i would do anything to be with her, but thats whats driving me nuts, i can't stop thinkning about her and the only time that i feel happy is when I see her. All she wants rate know is to be friends with me, and then from there we will see. But i can't do that rate know, i can't live with her in my life and i can't live with her out of my life. It's been almost 2 months now, and its been a roller coaster ride of emotions. I don't know what to do anymore i feel so alone and rate now i can't see a future with out her in it. And i feel that no matter what I do i will end up loosing her. The thing is too one minute i feel like i want her back and then the next i feel that i should move on and find someone better. All my friends tell me that i can move on and do better and that im better off without her. But I keep telling myself that they didn't know her like i did. I don't know how to get over her, if anyone can give me advise on how not to think of someone every 2 seconds and how not to call her and tell her how much i miss her all the time. I really hate who i am rate know i was always a strong independent person, now i feel like an empty person that can't stop crying over loosing the one that i love.

 

So 2 questions how do i get over her?

And if i want her back what would be the best way to do that with out being seen as a week or pathetic?

[Beec]

Fist, you need to stop chasing her and calling her all the time. Next adopt an air of confidence that she will think you are the one for her and she will be coming back to you. Then let her know, your door is open and when she is ready, let her know the two of you can talk to see if you both can work things out. BUT also let her know: you cannot sit around and wait for her to make up her mind; You care about her, but you can care about others; You need a woman who is going to be there to do what you need and want her to do; you can't have a woman who is runnign away from you or running around; and that she can be that woman, if she wants to, but you are not accepting less. In essense, I'll take you but only if I get all of you. Acceptance with a challenge. Nothing nasty or offensive or hurtful or out of hurt. Then check in with her once in a while. Nothing but checking on her, wanted to see how you were doing. In the mean time, get some other dates and be open-minded to the other women working out. Have fun, don't seek too much from the dates except another date with them. Hope your ex finds out. And if she asks, be honest but vague.

[bruisednotbroken]

Hey man...I was just there about two weeks ago. I think many of us on this board have, too.

 

You need to relax....just a little bit - right now. Take a deep breath, go to the washroom and read the paper, go get a cup of tea (back off the coffee), . I know, its overwhelming, it dominates all of your thought and all of your energy...you cant see a way out. That feeling goes away, but in the meantime you need to sweat it out. So instead of sitting around thinking about her, decide to do something. Go see a movie...go rent a film you have wanted to see. Go wander around the bookstore...go wander around the mall and buy x-mas gifts for your mom or your sister or whoever. Anything...make a plan for tonight right now and stick to it. I know you can't avoid that moment when you're lying in bed later tonight and your mind is reeling, but those dont last as long if you've done other things that day. Believe me.

 

You love her. That's all you need to know. Dont do anything that you think might make her take you back faster...you cant make anybody love you or want to be with you right now. And dont think about moving on...just center yourself - recognize who you are, what is going on, what is real (your love for her), what is imaginary (the future without her)...

[unidrewuni]

im going through kinda the same reeeeling thoughts of this guy.

YOUR WHOLE MESSAGE HAS MADE ME FEEL BETTER IN A SMALL WAY> I THINK IM GONNA GO AND LIFT SOME WEIGHTS IN ABOUT #) MINUTES SO I CAN STOP THINKING OF THIS GIRL ON MY MIND

YOU WORDS OF WISDOM IS SOMETHING IM GOING TO "COPY" AND PASTE"in my p[ersonal emial account. SO I CAN READ IT Everytime i need a boost

i wish i knew about tis website 3 or 4 years ago