Need Love.

[speak]

I know I post on here a bit and I know it usually is about the same issue/s but I thought I would elaborate more.

 

I will be nineteen in June and I know that is young, but I really, really and longing for a partner. I don't mean get hitched right at the moment, just meet someone and then a few years later get married. I've never been in a realtionship, never been kissed etc...

 

I guess lots of reasons make up for my wanting of a boyfriend/soulmate.

 

My mother passed away when I was only twelve, leaving me with my dad and stepmother. Out of jealousy, my stepmother always brought me down. She would say things to me (out of the blue - for no reason. Seriously) like "Men only want thin women, they don't like bigger girls." "No man will ever want to touch you." "You have an ugly body." Things that were very childish for a lady in her fifties to say (I think and others think she has some mental problem)

 

All of this started when I was around the age of 15. She would build me up with "You are a bigger girl, but you are beautiful." And then tear me down with some of the above comments. My dad never really heard her say these things and when he did, he never sided with me.

 

I needed someone to build me up and care for me, and I didn't get that in my teens. No one ever showed affection towards me and I was very nervous and insecure in school (which I am growing out of a bit now since I have graduated.)

 

Thing is, is that I know I am young, and I know you don't need another to make you happy, but I wish that I could have a healthy relationship with someone that cares about me and treats me great and shows affection towards me and doesn't make me feel bad about myself. Because I've never had that. I've been praying for God to send me someone for so long. Ever since I was sixteen.

 

I now am in tech school and have been for three weeks now and while there is one person that stands out to me, I'm never around him.

 

Do you think love is out of the picture for me? Am I jaded? Do you think God ever will answer my prayers?

 

I need advice.

 

Thank you.

[_Asti_]

No, love is certainly not out of the question.

 

The question here is do you love yourself? Do you have confidence in yourself? Do you love who you are?

[MD Geist]

Don't worry about what your stepmother says about you. She's probably jellous of how good looking you are. I know you feel very alone and unloved right now but another person will not bring you happyness I hate to say it. You gotta be happy with yourself right now and be happy with life and like Iv'e said to many women out there you will attract someone sooner or later. Some boy out there going to be very lucky to find you.

[Lostkitton]

I am sorry you lost your mother at such a young age. It must be and still is hard. It's awful that your stepmother feels she has to put you down. Have you said anything to her or just took the insults and bottled them up? You said your our father never sided with you? That makes me want to cry. Are you not close to him?

 

God answers all prayers within reason and I am sure he will answer yours. He just probably wants you to do something for yourself first. You have to love yourself and accept yourself. Then you will see what God has brought forth to you. He has given you the world, you just have to see it within yourself.

[_Asti_]

Yup thats exactly it. Being loved and finding happiness is an inside job. Thats where its start. Accepting and loving yourself goes a long way. It makes things go alot easier in a relationship when you are happy with yourself, you can enjoy that happiness and you can accept love alot better.

 

I am struggling with this with my boyfriend. He lost his father and has a huge hole within him. He doesn't like or love himself and he's not happy, and he's relying on other people to do that for him, but its never good enough.

 

Its alot of pressure on me to FIX HIM. To make him feel loved and cared for, but the truth is, its never enough and will never be enough until he deals with those emotions and he learns to love himself, can he truly accept the love I give.

 

Just be patient. Good things come to those who wait Trust me on that. Go about life, love yourself, be optimistic and confident and he will find YOU.

[speak]

No, love is certainly not out of the question.

 

The question here is do you love yourself? Do you have confidence in yourself? Do you love who you are?

 

 

 

I feel like I have confidence in myself, it can still be worked on but, I have it. I love who I am. My morals and everything else, and I still to an extent am trying to find out what I am about a bit more.