Would this be cool or will she think I'm a creep?

[Dagless]

Ok, so there's this woman I like at work. I see her almost everyday but I know nothing about her other than her name and we hardly say two words to each other. The truth is I would really like to get to know her better and I was thinking of just giving her my number and saying "give me a call if you ever want to go out for a drink sometime."

 

Would this be cool or would it just freak her out? I've never been very good at asking women out and I don't want here to think I'm some sort of creep or something.

 

Ladies, what would you think if a guy you hardly knew at work did this?

[Beanie1]

I'd be surprised, especially if we'd had the opportunity to smile at each other or share a flirty look, and hadn't. I wouldn't be creeped out, however if I didn't know much about you I'd probably be hesitant to accept.

 

Is there any chance you can make a bit of small chit-chat with her, the odd smile etc for a little bit before you offer her your number? You'd probably have a better chance of success if you've had a bit of contact with her beforehand, and you may also be able to gauge her potential reaction before you go out on a limb.

[Dagless]

I've tried talking to her a couple of times but I think that she is a little shy and I suddenly lose the ability to talk in a sensable way in front of women I find attractive. For some reason I turn in to a complete dork. But yeah I'll curtenly try to talk to her without feeling like a jerk.

[Iceman26]

I was thinking of just giving her my number and saying "give me a call if you ever want to go out for a drink sometime."

 

 

I would probably ask her out to lunch first during work or something. Don't just give her your number. Make drinks the second date.

[Dagless]

Thanks Iceman, I'm just thinking of a way to get to know her better. I work in a different department to her and our shifts overlap so lunch may be difficult. I think I'm going to see if I can talk to her without sounding like a fool and then maybe go from there.

[Iceman26]

I think I'm going to see if I can talk to her without sounding like a fool and then maybe go from there.

 

I think it is safer for you if you try having a conversation with her in person before simply handing over a phone number.

 

I had good luck by just sending an email saying hello. I think it is because people like getting mail because they are bored at work. I don't know.

[Dagless]

I think that's one of the disadvantages of working in a shop rather than an office, I mean our place is so big that two people could work there and never meet. The last place I worked at everyone knew everyone else and we all went out together so getting to know someone was easy.

[jettison]

That's not a good tactic. It's like you're giving her permission to call you. It should feel like the other way around for her. Even a simple, "Let's get a drink together... do you have time this week?" should suffice.

[Dagless]

Thanks Jettison, I really don't want to blow this. I mean she may not be my type after I've got to know her but who knows. I just don't want to come accross as an idiot you know what I mean?

 

I'm so rubbish at this kind of stuff.

[greensleeves]

You mentioned that you work in a shop in different departments. Is it like a department store and is she in the sales area? Maybe you could go on your lunch and buy something in her department and start a casual conversation with her?

[Dagless]

A bit difficult, she works on womens shoes

I'm in stock movement so when I take some stock to her department I'll try and chat then. The only trouble with that is that her stockroom is no where near the department but no worries I'll just be cool about it, I'll be like "You've got five boxes today....how you doin'?"

[jettison]

Thanks Jettison, I really don't want to blow this. I mean she may not be my type after I've got to know her but who knows. I just don't want to come accross as an idiot you know what I mean?

 

I'm so rubbish at this kind of stuff.

 

Sometimes, it's best to develop a repoire by flirting rather then coming out with the invite. Try smiling at her a little bit more when you pass her in the hallway. Give her the sly grin. See what happens. If she seems receptive, then shoot her a random email at some point.

[Rhonda 2]

OK Dagless- here's what to do. Collect an enormous stack of paper- maybe some slippery glossy stuff included. Walk buy her desk/office and arrange to tip your load all over the floor. Naturally appear embarrased, apologize as you start picking up the mess. AND SMILE!!!. If she's any sort of human being at all, she will jump up and help you. This will give you the opportunity to exchange names, jobs, whatever. When everything is collected- with her help- its time to offer to buy her a cup of coffee, coke anything. From there you are on your own.

 

Rhonda

[Dagless]

Sometimes, it's best to develop a repoire by flirting rather then coming out with the invite. Try smiling at her a little bit more when you pass her in the hallway. Give her the sly grin. See what happens. If she seems receptive, then shoot her a random email at some point.

 

It's this kind of suff I'm rubbish with. I'm always scared I'm coming accross all weirdo.

[Dagless]

OK Dagless- here's what to do. Collect an enormous stack of paper- maybe some slippery glossy stuff included. Walk buy her desk/office and arrange to tip your load all over the floor. Naturally appear embarrased, apologize as you start picking up the mess. AND SMILE!!!. If she's any sort of human being at all, she will jump up and help you. This will give you the opportunity to exchange names, jobs, whatever. When everything is collected- with her help- its time to offer to buy her a cup of coffee, coke anything. From there you are on your own.

 

Rhonda

 

See this kind of thing happens to me anyway, it's because I'm clumsy I know I think I'm going to go down the dazzel her with my personality route. Now all I need is a personality and I'm laughing

[Rhonda 2]

she won't mind if you are clumsy.

[greensleeves]

If she's in women's shoes, you could still go and say your sister/friend (whoever) wanted you to find out if they carried a specific line of shoes, something a little obscure that isn't carried everywhere, maybe Eccoshoes or Reebok Scarlett Johansson line or something like that. If they don't carry them, (which they probably don't), you could ask her if she knows anywhere nearby that does carry them, if they're any good, etc....it'll at least start an initial conversation with her so that you'll start to feel a little more comfortable around her.

[Dagless]

Thanks Rhonda and greensleeves, I think I know what I should do now. If I can just get her to look up and smile at me it'll be a start and she has a stock delievery at least once a day so I just need to make sure that I take it out and then talk to her, even if it's just a few words and a smile.

 

Funny I always see myself as a shy person but I'm always talking to people at work and making them laugh. Strange.

[greensleeves]

See this kind of thing happens to me anyway, it's because I'm clumsy I know I think I'm going to go down the dazzel her with my personality route. Now all I need is a personality and I'm laughing

 

 

You've got the personality...that's very clear from your posts on this forum

[Rhonda 2]

Dag- would it surprise you to learn that girls do this too?

 

Rhonda

[Dagless]

You've got the personality...that's very clear from your posts on this forum

 

Thanks greensleeves

[jettison]

It's this kind of suff I'm rubbish with. I'm always scared I'm coming accross all weirdo.

 

It's all about who you think you are when you're smiling at someone or giving them a gauze. Just pretend that, in your mind, she's naked, you just slept with the boss on her desk, you just won the lottery, you were just told a secret by a beautiful woman that could likely change the fate of the world. Got it?

 

And if you come off like a creep? So what. So you're a creepy creeperson for a short while. You'll survive. She'll survive. The world won't blow up. Go be a creep. Strive to fail. Strive to fail. Strive to fail. Have a sense of humor about it. Literally try to mess up and come off poorly. Go out of your way. The more you don't care or apologize for whatever you're thinking or saying, the less she'll hold you to that standard you have made up in your head.

 

"Come home so I can be a creep." - Schwarzenbach

[greensleeves]

BTW..I'm happy for you that you're thinking about getting out there and dating.

[greensleeves]

And if you come off like a creep? So what. So you're a creepy creeperson for a short while. You'll survive. She'll survive. The world won't blow up. Go be a creep. Strive to fail. Strive to fail. Strive to fail. Have a sense of humor about it. Literally try to mess up and come off poorly. Go out of your way. The more you don't care or apologize for whatever you're thinking or saying, the less she'll hold you to that standard you have made up in your head.

 

"Come home so I can be a creep." - Schwarzenbach

 

I love this post.

[Dagless]

And our departments are far enough apart so that we'll never have to mention the whole creepy thing ever again. As long as I don't do my old man Steptoe face I should be ok.