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My ex called me to come out last night-still so unresolved-I want to text

Suzanne1281

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Suzanne1281 Enthusiast

Suzanne1281

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Well-my ex called me to come out last night. To catch up and to introduce me to his family who were in town. The first thing he did was apologize for "being such a douche these past weeks." He thanked me for letting him be and he really appreciated it. He said he has missed me and it's good to see me. He told me he invited me out so his family could meet me and that they liked me. Then he tells me his ex is planning on spending the summer in our city in some academic program and he thinks it's a "last ditch effort" to get him back. He said he talked to her last weekend when he was home (when I thought he was there to get back together with her) and that they told each other they still had feelings for each other but after all that happened he thinks it won't work. He said he hasn't talked to her since then. He told her if she comes to the city this summer he won't give up his friends and only hang out with her (she hates his friends). I don't know. I told him I don't trust him. He said he wants to earn my trust back and he misses doing everything with me but he "doens't know what's going to happen this summer."

 

Of course I can't get back together with him right now. But why do I deserve this torture of having to go through all of this? Why would I deserve the torture of having to see him with her this summer? He told me he's tried to forget me but can't and it feels wrong to do that. He had the nerve to say "well, if I didn't sleep with her last weekend then I probably wont' sleep with her this summer." Ugh! When he dropped me off this morning at my apartment, he told me it was good to see me, he missed me and "we'll talk soon." He seemed so sad this morning while last night he seemed happy to see me. God knows if he'll actually call again. I don't think contacting or texting him first will be the right thing to do although I want to. It wouldn't matter so much if we didn't have mutual friends. I will have to see this this summer and I refuse to give my friends up. I have been so lost and miserable without this guy and feel the same way he does about it not feeling right to just forget him (I didn't tell him this). However when we stayed together last night it didn't feel the same because I just don't trust him. He did things to me but I couldn't bring myself to do anything to him and he said he understood. There's not much advice to be given I don't think. I just need to vent. I want to text him.

 

I'm sick of this empty pit in my stomach. I'm sick of this all. I have no idea what to do to make myself feel better anymore. I want to text him to tell him it was good to see him today.

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Litgirl01 Contributor

Litgirl01

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I'm sorry you are dealing with this love, this is the reason I go and stick to NC if my ex ever calls me up wanting to catch up I'm just gonna tell her no, sure I want to know things but it just makes my life harder. It's easier to let go and go my way completely.

 

It's about protecting yourself!!! Don't allow him to hurt you anymore! Once you heal...you can find someone who can give you the love you want and deserve!

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Suzanne1281 Enthusiast

Suzanne1281

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It's about protecting yourself!!! Don't allow him to hurt you anymore! Once you heal...you can find someone who can give you the love you want and deserve!

 

 

But what about hearing about people "fighting for their man." Am I supposed to be doing that? Reassuring him that yes, this is what I want?

 

Rennaissance-Eventually, yes we could totally be friends if this ex wasn't in the picture. I cannot go through a summer of dealing with this.

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mke11077 Newbie

mke11077

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Just a suggestion... Take a step back and try to have some time for yourself. He undoubtedly loves you but as far as being "in love", it's hard to say. There's no reason to keep him out of your life, but you should restrict his presense in it.

 

If you feel the need to text him then do so. Just don't tell him how much you love him or that you want him back. Let him know you enjoyed spending time with him but seeing him is too emotional for you. If he respects you he'll understand where you're coming from.

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Suzanne1281 Enthusiast

Suzanne1281

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I am too torn too really know if I should text him so maybe I shouldn't. The last thing I said to him when he kissed me goodbye today is that it was good to see him and that I miss him a lot. That should be enough maybe?

 

Just a suggestion... Take a step back and try to have some time for yourself. He undoubtedly loves you but as far as being "in love", it's hard to say. There's no reason to keep him out of your life, but you should restrict his presense in it.

 

If you feel the need to text him then do so. Just don't tell him how much you love him or that you want him back. Let him know you enjoyed spending time with him but seeing him is too emotional for you. If he respects you he'll understand where you're coming from.

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Litgirl01 Contributor

Litgirl01

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But what about hearing about people "fighting for their man." Am I supposed to be doing that? Reassuring him that yes, this is what I want?

 

Rennaissance-Eventually, yes we could totally be friends if this ex wasn't in the picture. I cannot go through a summer of dealing with this.

 

That could possibly push him away! I think if it is meant to be, it will happen regardless of NC. NC does not make someone's love go away! It does give them time to miss you and miss the relationship!

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