Just need to vent

[Cid]

I feel so down in the dumps right now just had a friend killed over in iraq and my g/f was just shiped out to iraq. Now I am trying to get over it. But this has really depresed me. I try to look on the bright side but it is hard to. One thing that is killing me the most is that my g/f will be gone for 2 years!!! That really gets to me. I just dont know what to do? I am haveing a hard time geting out of bed and eating. I have gone through this before but I have never been so drained before. I have a hard time just go to work now. I just want it to end. I have tryed to run but that did not work. I just need someone to lissen to me vent and I picked you guys. One more thing that is drveing me mad and that is a girl that likes me found ou tthat she is gone and she has been pestering me all of the time it is driving me insane. What should I do with her? (takes a deep breath) thanks for leting me vent and if you want to resopond you are welcom to.

[setsuko1981]

that's just the way life is! $#!T happens (as it says on a bumper sticker)! But you could look it either way, good or bad, it all depends on you. If I were you, I'd look at it this way, I know that long distance relationship is hard, but your GF is sacrificing her life, if not, her time with you, so you 2 could have freedom--and everyone else could. Just be patient, eventually, she'll come back to you. I have a friend whose brother is in Iraq as well, and he almost got killed. She always talks to me (to vent) everytime she's with me. So, you could say I have a little understanding of what you're going through. As for your friend, my condolences!

[akatoro]

Hey, Cid.

I guess this only goes to show that war is bad.

I am sorry that you cannot spend your desired time with your girlfriend. I can only guess what it must feel like And I am also sorry to hear that your friend died. As much as I am against American military going into Iraq, I am saddened when individuals die in the attempts of liberating the country.

 

And if that new girl bothers you stiff; perhaps you could just freeze her out if her only reason is to try and steal you from your gf?

But bare in mind that she might also just want to comfort you and be a friend now that you've lost another friend and you cannot be with your gf.

It can be really hard to interpret certain situations sometimes, especially when you have so many other things to think about.

 

Good luck, Cid.

[kuhl282000]

Hello Brother Cid

 

I'm with you my brother I'm going through a heartbreak myself. Like you I have had a very hard time sleeping and eating of late. I have puked at least once everyday over this lost love of my life. I feel like I'm in a time warp now. And it has been tough working through this very slow process of healing. Like you I have a hard time getting out of bed and going to work. I was fortunate enough to have some vacation time built up.

And I just took off the past two weeks. Today will be my last day. I'm feeling better slowly, very slowly. I have a partner in business who has a theory that I have watched him time and time again put into application.

He says breaking up with someone is like taking a Band-Aid off. You can pull it off slowly and put yourself through alot of pain. Or you can just rip it off. I have watched him rip of several Band-Aids. And this works for him. For me when I care, I care deeply. I think this is a good thing, but it seems to really tie up my emotions. You go through a process I have found of regret, denial, depression, anger, confusion, a feeling of loss, hope, and the hardest for me is acceptence. Especially if it is really over.

And the feelings are not in any order, they just sort of come and go. All I really know is that some how we get through it, and things get better. You know the old saying. one door closes another opens. I'm looking for some new doors to open, and you will to when your ready. Take the time for you now, heal, rest do what you need to do. I wish I had a pill that would make it all better for everyone. Emotional pain, has to be the toughest pain of all time. I would not wish it on anyone. Keep the faith brother, you can and will do this. Look for new doors. Thanks for venting.

 

Peace

Kuhl

[Genesis]

Just pray and support your GF. God Bless you, it is alright to feel sad sometimes. Keep your faith.

[wisdomgained]

hey Cid,

 

I'm really sorry i have a hard time being away from my bf for a day, i can't imagine what i'd do if he had to be away that long.

 

I just thought I'd tell you something though, I'm really impressed with you here you are hurting like you are, yet you are responding supportively to most of the posts on these forums. Keep up the good work. It is my view that helping others helps us help ourselves.

 

If you need or want someone to talk to, I'm here.

 

Becky

[Mar]

Aww, Cid, I'm sorry to hear about your friend.....I have a friend in Iraq too and pray daily that he's safe. I'm very sorry to hear you lost your friend.

 

As far as your girlfriend going over, yes, you're going to feel depressed and scared and anxious, that's all normal, and we can certainly understand it. But what you have to keep in mind are a couple of things. One is that she loves her country and is willing to risk her life to defend it AND us, for which we should ALL be proud of her. Two is that she has you in her heart and knows you love her, and that she loves you. 2 years IS a very long time, but I'm thinking that, now with Saddam caught, they might be lessening the time our military is over there. There's hope in that. Also, I think the danger will be far less now with him caught. At least, that's what I have to keep praying on, so as not to lose my mind with worry!

 

Don't let yourself fall apart over this, I'm quite sure that's the LAST thing your girlfriend OR your friend would want. They are proud to serve their country and are doing it out of love. It's the natural thing to have the selfish thought of, "But I want them HERE!" and forget why they're doing it, especially if one dies in the process. But he knew the risks, same as your girlfriend, and if someone feels that strongly about ANYTHING, they're going to do it regardless of others' fears.

 

Be strong for your girlfriend and support her decision, and think of your friend and the fine things he contributed to all of our lives. Be with your girl as long as you can, and when she goes, know that she's taking you with her in her heart and that you WILL still have contact with her, hard as it'll be to not see her. If your love for each other is strong, it will last that two years. Good luck and be strong, it won't last forever.

 

Mar

[swift44]

damn thats terrible. I dont know how to help yoou but i wish that you can get past this and i hope everything gets well i truly wish you the best and i hope that since Saddam has been captured that your girlfriend will be back soon, I'll try my hardest to remember to pray for your deceased friends family and of course you. Just dont woory im sure things will get better. if you ever need to vent your anger just try to do something to help get your mind off your problems. get a punching bag or do some hobby you love. I terukly hope things get better for you . I will pray for you. good luck with youtr problems

[JSHRN]

Hey Cid.

 

Thanks for venting and thank you for sharing. You've got a lot on your plate and it doesn't sound like it going to go away anytime soon. One of best friend's son just got orders on Decmber 18th that he's shipping out to Iraq on 12/29 for a military police/security role. No time frame at all on how long he'll be there. Needless to say, my friend's wife is heartbroken over this because this may be the last Christmas she'll ever see him. My friend has been aloof to the whole situation -- thinking his wife is over reacting. I lost a buddy of mine in Kandahar, Iraq back in August and it scares the crap out of me that it will happen again.

 

2 years is a very long time for your girl to be there but like Mar said, she loves her country and is willing to defend it at all cost and whatever sacrifice. I pray for her safe return to you -- and for the safe return of all of our loved ones.

 

God Bless.