NC for 2 years. Broke NC and I'm in pain

[LilPixie]

This post should serve as a lesson to everyone

 

Lived together for 4 years, engaged, unofficially married but had a date for the real wedding. Anyway, I found out that he was cheating on me on the same week he proposed. Dumped him, moved to a new country.

 

For the past one year and 10 months I've probably cried every week. I really love him. I dated some guys. Got serious with one of them and suddenly after almost 2 years of NC I felt the insane urge to text him. I figured his phone number won't be the same because he moved.

 

We saw each other twice. He was shaking, he still loves me he says. He however has NO desire to try and get back together. I broke up with the current boyfriend promptly because I realized that I'm still in love with my ex.

 

I have just been set back 2 years. I'm in the same painful state that I was immediately after the break up. The worst type of rejection. I've texted him 2 days ago and still nothing.

 

Please help me! I know that this man is terrible for me but I still love him. How do I get back on track with healing? I can't stop crying. All of this has brought up all the pain back from before plus fresh one.

[kevinm]

Wow... I'm not an advocate for NC, but if he doesn't want anything to do with you the message is pretty clear... I'm sorry. Stick a fork in it, it's over. Again, I'm sorry.

 

-Kevin

[lilypadgirl]

*HUG*

 

I'm not sure what to say because I know in moments like these it seems like it will never be alright. But the best thing to do is to cry it all out. Take some time to pamper yourself. And then start over with the NC.

 

*HUG*

[wheezy84]

I wonder what goes through men's brains when they do that. They cheat on you and then you push them away. You reach out to them and they say they never want to see you again. What's the deal?

 

I think us women are too forgiving sometimes.

[renaissancewoman101]

Why did you break up with your current bf, if you knew by that time that the ex didn't want to rekindle anything?

[traeh]

LilPixie,

 

It's been 2 years of NC for me too. I would never contact my ex again, and the potential for the pain resurfacing is one of the reasons why. I thank you for posting this, to prevent others from giving in to that desire to reach out after so much time has passed... only to fall into another slump.

 

How long ago did you see him (when he was shaking)?

 

Also, you said his phone number might not be the same, so maybe that's the reason why you haven't heard from him?

 

If you haven't heard back from him and it IS his phone number, then I am extremely sorry to hear this. However, this is just another page in your breakup story. It's just another sign that he's not the right guy for you. There are so many reasons why you haven't heard back (it's too painful for him, he doesn't have the right words to say, he wants to forget about you, he's put you behind him and has moved forward, his phone number has changed and he never received it; the list goes on.)

 

I know how hard it is for your heart to understand the logic of the situation, but have you really recovered from his betrayal? Have you really grown enough to want to jump back into a relationship with someone that broke your heart and then told you that he 'had no desire to get back into a relationship.'

 

What I'm getting from this is that you want to be with someone that hurt you, and then you chased HIM and he turned YOU away? That's so backwards.. and unfair to you.

 

You deserve better.

[LilPixie]

Thank you so much for your support guys.

 

I saw him a week ago. He hasn't called or texted me since then.

He wants to move on and I'm not helping him I guess.

 

We always hear what we want to hear. He says that he loves me and I'm holding on to that ignoring the rest ....glimmer of hope.

 

I feel like I've spent 2 years putting together a glass image of myself and in 1 hour he broke it again.

 

Why would I ever want to be with someone who hurt me in this horrible way? I have no idea.....forgiveness is great but it's not enough. Memory is important as well.

 

We were so great together. I've never found someone who I am so compatible with....I'm a mess.

[LilPixie]

Why did you break up with your current bf, if you knew by that time that the ex didn't want to rekindle anything?

 

I broke up with him because I realized that it's not right to be with someone when you are in fact in love with someone else...I couldn't go on.

[LilPixie]

LilPixie, what prompted you to do NC after all that time? There must have been some "catalyst". Perhaps you realized your new bf was not for you? Or maybe you were in a bad place in your life (besides still loving your ex)? I know for me, I am more inclined to "reach out" to my ex when things are not going well or I am particulary lonely. I am sorry you are hurting, though...

 

Well...I was sitting there with my new boyfriend realizing that I was so sad about my ex that I can just cry...but I felt healed and powerful because I was with my new guy. So next day I decided to see if I am really over my ex and play with my life and my pain basically....huge mistake.

 

I need major healing right now and I can't even look at another guy.