TAB1234 Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 At what point does it stop becoming an obsession?? I thought i was ok but over the last few weeks keep thinking abt it 24/7. One issue i guess i have is that i don't know whether she's found someone else or not, if she has i guess it would (altho hurt) make it clearer. Now it's become an obsession where i need to know -how sad is that?? Link to comment
Mustang Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 I know how you feel. I still don't know. When I was still talking to my ex, I would hint at things and make suggestions that she was with someone new. She never denied or confirmed anything. She just ignored mentioning anything. It used to KILL me. And it still does. Link to comment
TAB1234 Posted April 20, 2008 Author Share Posted April 20, 2008 Why did you break up if you don't mind me asking? Link to comment
Mustang Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 Why did you break up if you don't mind me asking? I don't really know. Her justification was that she "changed" and she is a totally different person now. I guess it got to a stage where I was smothering her. She started becoming distant when she got to uni and this made me paranoid, insecure and more clingy. Which made her more distant. I don't blame her. The last month or so of being together, I wasn't myself. At all. But that's natural when somebody you love is ignoring you. But I stopped becoming fun. We saw each other every single day last summer. It probably got boring. She got to uni and started partying with all these new people with new stories in a new place.....I was just left behind. I suppose she just got bored and found the "spark" with the new people. In a way, I can sort of understand it but I only became insecure and paranoid because she was making me feel that way. One thing that haunts me even now is when she broke up with me she said "loads of people at uni that I know have already cheated on their boyfriends/girlfriends. I don't want to be that person" which suggests that she either did sleep with the guy in the photos and felt guilty or she wanted to get with him. It's really * * * * because since we've split up she's never mentioned anything about how she's feeling and has been talking to me like a complete stranger. I feel awful that she can just meet someone new and push me to one side. Five months down the line, I think of her all the time and nobody I've met since compares. Don't get me wrong, I am trying to move on the best I can, but it just isn't working. Link to comment
TAB1234 Posted April 20, 2008 Author Share Posted April 20, 2008 It's hard mate. People can give you all the advice in the world and most of the time it makes sense and is logical but when one's heart is involved all logic/rational thought goes out the window and one does the complete opposite. You need to keep yourself busy and get some strength from somewhere. Link to comment
karvala Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 It's hard mate. People can give you all the advice in the world and most of the time it makes sense and is logical but when one's heart is involved all logic/rational thought goes out the window and one does the complete opposite. You need to keep yourself busy and get some strength from somewhere. Alarmingly true! We all try to think our way out of emotional pain, and we all fail. But what to do? Not thinking doesn't seem to do to the trick either! Keeping busy sounds good, but then there's the question of how to make yourself do that, especially if that's not a natural thing for you to do anyway. Link to comment
TAB1234 Posted April 20, 2008 Author Share Posted April 20, 2008 Alarmingly true! We all try to think our way out of emotional pain, and we all fail. But what to do? Not thinking doesn't seem to do to the trick either! Keeping busy sounds good, but then there's the question of how to make yourself do that, especially if that's not a natural thing for you to do anyway. what do you enjoy doing (apart from thinking abt the ex what can you do where the time just flies by?? if you have any suggestions i'd be happy to here them 'cos i'm struggling myself!! lol. i go to the gym but thats in the morning and i still got the rest of the day to kill. decided to do some studying/professional exams hoping that would occupy my mind but thats just stressed me even more!! Link to comment
karvala Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 what do you enjoy doing (apart from thinking abt the ex what can you do where the time just flies by?? if you have any suggestions i'd be happy to here them 'cos i'm struggling myself!! lol. i go to the gym but thats in the morning and i still got the rest of the day to kill. decided to do some studying/professional exams hoping that would occupy my mind but thats just stressed me even more!! All the things I enjoy doing are things I enjoyed doing with the ex, and largely because I was doing them with the ex. She was my life since I first arrived in this area really, and my friends were her friends really (and so now lost as well), so there isn't really much I can do or enjoy doing, except things that I did with her. I could do them on my own, but they all have painful memories now, which doesn't really distract me from thinking about her. Link to comment
Litgirl01 Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 All the things I enjoy doing are things I enjoyed doing with the ex, and largely because I was doing them with the ex. She was my life since I first arrived in this area really, and my friends were her friends really (and so now lost as well), so there isn't really much I can do or enjoy doing, except things that I did with her. I could do them on my own, but they all have painful memories now, which doesn't really distract me from thinking about her. Move to another country! Link to comment
karvala Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 Move to another country! Was that an invite? LOL And if you think I haven't looked at jobs overseas already, you'd be mistaken. Link to comment
Litgirl01 Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 Was that an invite? LOL And if you think I haven't looked at jobs overseas already, you'd be mistaken. There is a job opening at McDonalds down the street!!! Bring your brooms and brushes!!! Link to comment
karvala Posted April 20, 2008 Share Posted April 20, 2008 There is a job opening at McDonalds down the street!!! Bring your brooms and brushes!!! I wouldn't want to put you out of a job! You should try the country switch instead! There's a spare room going at my place now. Special rate for you! LOL Link to comment
Litgirl01 Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 I wouldn't want to put you out of a job! You should try the country switch instead! There's a spare room going at my place now. Special rate for you! LOL I have a magic fiver! Link to comment
karvala Posted April 21, 2008 Share Posted April 21, 2008 Orrrr 6 magic beans!!! Ah sorry, no garden. The magic fiver will do nicely, though. Link to comment
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