goomstooms Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 Hi! I hope you all are doing well. How do I find out if a guy is single, rather than asking him outright? Thank you so much for your help. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 Usually a man who has a girlfriend or spouse will make that clear if he senses you are interested in him - or even if not, during the conversation he will refer to his other half in some way. Yes yes I know there are cheaters out there I am talking about in general. Link to comment
annie24 Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 Usually a man who has a girlfriend or spouse will make that clear if he senses you are interested in him - or even if not, during the conversation he will refer to his other half in some way. Yes yes I know there are cheaters out there I am talking about in general. pfffffttttt......... if they want to keep it hidden, they will! look for a ring, or a tan line on the finger. you can ask what he did for the holidays, or what plans he has for the weekend. if he says, 'my gf and i are going to....' then you know. of course, i have encountered the guys who have so slyly said they were 'going on vacation' when i later found out they were going on their honeymoon!!!!! Link to comment
Russ Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 If you're able to hang out with his friends and him [and probably your friends to keep it from becoming weird], take the opportunity. One of two things will happen: Option 1. He will refer to his SO atleast once. It's... well, we just do. If we're not buttholes. If the term ' buttholes' is correct, than refer to Option 2. Option 2. His friends will subliminally try to [excuse the expression, it's the only way I really know how to say it] something block him. They'll refer to his girlfriend in your presense to eliminate him as any possible competition. Edit: Too many red stars. Language cleaning time. Link to comment
annie24 Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 his friends could also be equal buttholes and not SAY anything to the cute girl, because they don't want to SOMETHING-block him. Link to comment
Russ Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 his friends could also be equal buttholes and not SAY anything to the cute girl, because they don't want to SOMETHING-block him. Oh trust me, they'd have to be paid not to something-block him. Every guy, no matter if he's a saint, will secretly try to win the girl's heart, whether he has intentions of dating her, or just wants to look good in her books. I've not known one guy, friend or not, who simply didn't care when any kind of girl was present. He might give a position or negative reaction to her, but she can expect a reaction as sure as the sun rises. Link to comment
annie24 Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 Oh trust me, they'd have to be paid not to something-block him. Every guy, no matter if he's a saint, will secretly try to win the girl's heart, whether he has intentions of dating her, or just wants to look good in her books. I've not known one guy, friend or not, who simply didn't care when any kind of girl was present. He might give a position or negative reaction to her, but she can expect a reaction as sure as the sun rises. what i'm saying is that some guys might not mention to the girl that the guy has a gf or something back home. especially if you meet in say... vegas at a night club..... their buddies don't want to tell the cute girls they meet in the club that they all have girlfriends back home..... Link to comment
Russ Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 what i'm saying is that some guys might not mention to the girl that the guy has a gf or something back home. especially if you meet in say... vegas at a night club..... their buddies don't want to tell the cute girls they meet in the club that they all have girlfriends back home..... Ah, this is true. But this is also a different situation than the original poster has, I'm certain. I fully agree with your wedding-ring presense/tanline idea, but I once again assume that the OP is young-ish. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 well Annie, let's put it this way - if you meet a guy in a singles environment, he might be there despite having a girlfriend but if you meet a guy in a typical school/work/grocery store environment I don't think that presumption is fair. I was at a religious gathering a few years ago and struck up a conversation with a guy about his new business because it was interesting. I sensed he might be interested so at an appropriate point I referred to "my boyfriend. I didn't want to be in his face about it so I thought that was enough. It wasn't. He asked me out by email a week later, and obviously didn't know i had a boyfriend. so be sure to listen closely! Link to comment
annie24 Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 Ah, this is true. But this is also a different situation than the original poster has, I'm certain. I fully agree with your wedding-ring presense/tanline idea, but I once again assume that the OP is young-ish. lol, maybe i'm jaded after too many weekends in vegas..... and then another time, my friends and i met a group of guys, and i noticed right away that one of the guys had a ring on, and then an hour later, it was suddenly gone. i point blanked asked him, 'what happened to your wedding ring? you were wearing it a few minutes ago....? (you could even see the red swollen mark left...) he said, 'aw, yeah, my wife and i are separated.' (yes, i'm sure the separation happened in the last 5 minutes buddy. i guess, asking what they did for the weekend, or a major holiday. people tend to spend major holidays with their SOs, so they might say they went to their girlfriend's parent's house for xmas, etc..... a guy once asked me, 'what did your boyfriend buy you for valentine's day...?' (this was on valentine's day, and i said, 'no boyfriend....) Link to comment
Russ Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 and then another time, my friends and i met a group of guys, and i noticed right away that one of the guys had a ring on, and then an hour later, it was suddenly gone. i point blanked asked him, 'what happened to your wedding ring? you were wearing it a few minutes ago....? (you could even see the red swollen mark left...) he said, 'aw, yeah, my wife and i are separated.' (yes, i'm sure the separation happened in the last 5 minutes buddy. I was rolling around on my floor after reading that. A buddy told me a very similiar story that happened to one of his friends he was with in Vegas a few months ago. I always thought of it as a one-of-a-kind story, but I guess it's a daily occurrence there That's something I should've said. It's totally correct. Make a comment about the guy and his girlfriend in the form that his girlfriend is a given. That way he'll either speak about his girlfriend and him as a "matter of fact", or say that he's single. Link to comment
annie24 Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 lol, mr. separated 5 minutes ago, i actually met while in spain. unfortunately all the amnesiac married/separated guys don't all congregate in vegas. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 I worked with someone who's guy friend routinely did that - and one day he lost the ring and Tiffany's no longer carried that style. Caught red fingered? Link to comment
Russ Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 I worked with someone who's guy friend routinely did that - and one day he lost the ring and Tiffany's no longer carried that style. Caught red fingered? Hahahah. Way to mutilate a cliche in good taste. That's pretty bad. I assume he could get something closely similiar? Unless his wife does routine daily checks of his ring and it's style, texture, etc, he could probably get away with it. Link to comment
LanceVanceDance Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 Just ask questions about where he lives (if he lives with a girlfriend he'll probably say so while describing his place of residence), what he enjoys doing for fun, what plans he's got for the upcoming weekend, etc. just general questions about his life. If he's got a girlfriend he'll very likely mention her at some point. This is the kind of question I ask if I want to find out whether a girl has a boyfriend, it works well. Link to comment
AuthenticAuthor Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 Aside from just looking at his hands for a ring, there really isn't much you can do but be keen to any phone calls he makes beside you and how he reacts to particular women. You're going to have to just ask him. And even then you'll never be totally sure. If you wish, you can look up this guy's name through myspace and other profile-websites. It's possible he may have an account that says whether he's single or not. The problem is, of course, that this information is unreliable. How often do people truthfully and frequently update their profiles? Seriously, this is a redundant issue. The feelings of the heart are such that no detective work can accurately assess. The best thing you can do is be willing to trust his answers. Link to comment
MD Geist Posted April 16, 2008 Share Posted April 16, 2008 Hi! I hope you all are doing well. How do I find out if a guy is single, rather than asking him outright? Thank you so much for your help. Well iam single and I can tell you straightup some men will tell you they are single while others don't even bother, others are also very shy. Link to comment
hateimports Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 ha ha. i just say sorry honey, not for sale. that is pretty mean, but they get the hint! Link to comment
heavenearth Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 "What's your plan this weekend?" Link to comment
poloplayer Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 i noticed right away that one of the guys had a ring on, and then an hour later, it was suddenly gone. i point blanked asked him, 'what happened to your wedding ring? you were wearing it a few minutes ago....? That made me think of this girl whom I work with. She older (30ish) and recently married, yet every single time I go to ask her a question she does this weird thing. Her hands are almost always visible on or near a desk, she looks up, we make eye contact, and with her left thumb she goes underneath her hand, inbetween her middle and ring fingers with it, and turns her engagement ring 180 degrees so the diamond is hidden. It's happened every single time that I have spoken with her (we don't speak often), yet I have wanted to ask what's up with that because I can clearly see it. I have no clue what it means. Ya, she's totally cute, but she is married now and I would never consider doing anything - even flirting with her. We're not really friends - more like work acquantances - so I don't even feel comfortable asking her why she does that, but every single time I get the feeling like she is trying to tell me something. I don't take it as flirting, but it's really weird how it has happened every time. I eventually wrote it off to a habit and ignore it now, but trying to hide your diamond when a guy comes and speaks with you? I dunno, maybe she is lonely for some attention now that she is married. Link to comment
justkeepon Posted May 24, 2008 Share Posted May 24, 2008 All guys are single. LOL that's a joke. hehe Link to comment
solariseclipse Posted May 25, 2008 Share Posted May 25, 2008 I believe you are making rash judgements about ALL men in the world. First off, stupid is a strong accusation - the majority of us (that do not approach you ladies) are either not interested, inexperienced or shy. I could be wrong - but from "bro talk" thats how I generally find how it is. Secondly, both men and women are somewhat equal in terms emotionally and psychologically awareness of themselves/others. You want proof? eNotAlone is it. I'm sure there are similar ratios of threads on approached guys and gals. Also, just for of reading for both genders - try to hold back the gender bias when replying. Link to comment
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