How should I feel about this?

[Amannamederic]

Its sort of a long story, but here goes, first a little backstory:

 

Before I got to University (1.5 years ago or so) I hung out with a girl a few times. Nothing happened between us and we ended up going our separate ways before school started.

 

I got a girlfriend in school, and the girl I'd hung out with that summer was trying to be my friend/hitting on me...a mixture of both. This made my current girlfriend mad. She forbid me to talk to the other girl, a request I was happy to oblige. So after awhile the girl I had seen over the summer quit messaging me, got herself a boyfriend and all was well.

 

Then, about 3 weeks ago, we (the girl I haven't talked to in a year and a half) passed each other on the walkway going from class. No words were exchanged as usual. When I got home there was a message saying, "Hi, do you still hate me?"

 

Well, long story short I will be leaving this University to go to another one here in the fall. I didn't want to be mean and cold to this girl anymore so we talked a little bit via messages through facebook.

 

Fast forward to last night. My girlfriend tries to get on her facebook and discovered mine was left up. She proceeded to go through my bumper sticker requests and add them all because I never do. I was right beside her for this. Then she told me to let her go through my inbox. I told her no and tried to stop her but she threatened to leave because my defending it meant there was something in there she wasn't supposed to see and that I'd better let her see it. I said whatever, and let her in knowing full-well what she'd find.

 

She read the messages and went quiet. Went out, called her friends, the usual things she does when shes mad. The girl and I had talked about nothing bad...where she works, how our relationships were going...things like that.

 

So my girlfriend comes back in and starts screaming at me of course. She says the usual things, "You don't deserve me, I'm so much better than you." But the curious thing is how far she took this. She went as far as to call me a liar and a cheater because of this. I reminded her that she has said multiple times she didn't care about the girl anymore but that doesn't matter because I broke a promise I made over a year ago. Breaking a promise = lying = cheating on her. So she stormed out threatening me with revenge and saying we were through. She always threatens me, its a big thing with her.

 

Long story short, we didn't break up (we never do). Now things are normal again I guess, I said I was sorry and since she went to work we haven't talked.

 

My question is how should I feel about this? As I said, threatening is a big thing with her, and we've had a major fight about her going through my stuff before (she went through forum posts I'd made on a forum I go to...nothing about her, but answering questions guys asked and talking to people. She has my account bookmarked on her computer so that she can go through my posts whenever she wants to.) And she claims that she cannot trust me at all.

 

I'm leaving the state in 2 weeks. We will be going to school 4 hours apart. What would you do?

[Aschleigh]

Is it not important how you should feel about something.

It is important how you do feel about something.

Take a minute and check in with yourself, How do you feel? Angry, hurt, sad, happy, joyful.

How do you actually feel? No one can tell you that.

[Antimonic]

sorry to say but you need to ask your girlfriend if she HONESTLY trusts you, i mean, she accused you of cheating because you lied? you didnt kiss or even sleep with the girl you only spoke, and it was facebook so its very detached (as in not really as real-time as msn or on the phone). ask her if she trusts you, if she says anything other then yes then im sorry but you should leave her, why are you with someone if they dont trust you? and if you do break up it wont be a really bad thing to do, at least youll give her a reason to no longer have to trust you, she can find someone else to not trust and look through their stuff.

 

ok so basicaly, im saying you should feel like dumping this girl, yeah your friend was flirting abit but would you have done anything? did your gf trust you to not do anything? as she said she cant trust you at all so do you really want to be with someone who has no faith in you?