Addicus Posted April 13, 2008 Share Posted April 13, 2008 Yeah I see what you mean. It is something to do with choice after all. And the fact I haven't made that choice yet tells me that I'm not ready to, so I've not moved on lol And thats OK....you will know when the time is right..... Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted April 13, 2008 Share Posted April 13, 2008 Thank you I know this is gonna sound crazy...but in a way I don't want to move on and not want him anymore just incase he comes back, and if he does come back, as much as I would like to be able to say no, I want to be able to say yes and give it another go Link to comment
Addicus Posted April 13, 2008 Share Posted April 13, 2008 Thank you I know this is gonna sound crazy...but in a way I don't want to move on and not want him anymore just incase he comes back, and if he does come back, as much as I would like to be able to say no, I want to be able to say yes and give it another go Nothing wrong with that..you know what you want you are being honest with yourself.....there is nothing worng with not moving on. Many times people think there are a lot wrong with them and it is their fault that their ex ended the relationship....sometimes it just ends, mine ended, there wasn't anything wrong with me so do I really need to change because of it..NO..but I think that I realised that I do need to make some major changes because when the rigth person does come along I need to be ready and available.! I hope that you do get a chance to get back with your ex! Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted April 13, 2008 Share Posted April 13, 2008 Another crazy little bit of info, I'm not even sure I want him back lol It's just all so confusing. I'm sure you know what I mean though. It seems a lot of people have the same thoughts and feelings when going through this sort of thing Link to comment
Addicus Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 think not wanting back could be a defense mechanism..I know that I went through the same thoughts....it may or maynot be a true feeling. 2 months on...I am not sure if I would want to get back..maybe maybe not.......it's amazing what our mind does..all these thougths and feelings etc! Just let yourself feel, don't fight it. I try to stop myslef and think if there is some major reason why I am feeling or having the thougths I am..maybe stress, maybe feeling lonely....it helps! But sometimes I don't kow why U get those feelings and I just accept them! Link to comment
Litgirl01 Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 think not wanting back could be a defense mechanism..I know that I went through the same thoughts....it may or maynot be a true feeling. 2 months on...I am not sure if I would want to get back..maybe maybe not.......it's amazing what our mind does..all these thougths and feelings etc! Just let yourself feel, don't fight it. I try to stop myslef and think if there is some major reason why I am feeling or having the thougths I am..maybe stress, maybe feeling lonely....it helps! But sometimes I don't kow why U get those feelings and I just accept them! I was having these feelings today...like I want him back. You take so much time to build something...then it's just GONE. Just like that...GONE. It's hard to stomach..it really is. Link to comment
Hope_Springs_Eternal Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 Another crazy little bit of info, I'm not even sure I want him back lol It's just all so confusing. I'm sure you know what I mean though. It seems a lot of people have the same thoughts and feelings when going through this sort of thing I know exactly what you mean. One day everythings great and you can see light at the end of the tunnel. Next day your on a complete downer and wondering what the ex is doing and who hes doing it with. i think we're all the same in that respect it does get better though, Im definitely having more tunnel days YEEEHAAAAAAAAA Link to comment
sparrow Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 I so totally relate to all these feeling expressed in this thread. It's scary to move on because I'm SCARED to move on! I'm afraid of NOT wanting him, should he decide to return. At this point, I think it is in my best interest if he doesn't, and for me to reject him... but... my ex and I have been down this road twice before. Two breakups, and each time he has come back through NC. This breakup feels quite different though, and it's scary. Even this weekend, I actually felt... okay! It's probably temporary, but I'm even afraid when I'm feeling okay, because it's like...oh no! I don't feel that connection to him anymore! I know it's necessary to cut the cord, but it's scary. And hard. And sad. ((hugs)) Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 I so totally relate to all these feeling expressed in this thread. It's scary to move on because I'm SCARED to move on! I'm afraid of NOT wanting him, should he decide to return. At this point, I think it is in my best interest if he doesn't, and for me to reject him... but... my ex and I have been down this road twice before. Two breakups, and each time he has come back through NC. This breakup feels quite different though, and it's scary. Even this weekend, I actually felt... okay! It's probably temporary, but I'm even afraid when I'm feeling okay, because it's like...oh no! I don't feel that connection to him anymore! I know it's necessary to cut the cord, but it's scary. And hard. And sad. ((hugs)) I know, its all just so messed up. I convince myself sometimes that it's just a "break", and I know it's bad for me to do this but I can't help it. I'm starting to feel I have psychological issues. Don't worry though, if they throw me in the nut house I'll do my best to get the net to get back on ena lol Link to comment
Addicus Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 I know, its all just so messed up. I convince myself sometimes that it's just a "break", and I know it's bad for me to do this but I can't help it. I'm starting to feel I have psychological issues. Don't worry though, if they throw me in the nut house I'll do my best to get the net to get back on ena lol A major change in anyones life can really do a job on your head! For me I try to see why it is having such a great impact. Yes, there is going to be pain but why so much pain. Is there more I can give myself and not need from external sources? I think what you do or don't do now is important for future relationships. I just ask myself lots of questions. Some I have answers for some I need to seek the answer. The question I ask myself the most is WHY DOES THIS PERSON HAVE SUCH A HOLD OVER MY LIFE EVEN WHEN THEY ARE NO LONGER IN IT?!! Am I picking unhealthy people to be with? You are not crazy....just human! For some rason you are being given a lesson. something to learn from. If you don't get it now the lesson will come back again and again until you get it. Believe me I have had to endure the saem lesson over and over again until I finally allow myself to learn what I need to learn! Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted April 14, 2008 Share Posted April 14, 2008 Yes, this makes a lot of sense. I often wonder why, the ex's are able to go on with their daily business while we are just left here in limbo. They were in the relationship for the same amount of time we were so I wonder why the fact it's over affects us so much more than it affects them. I have come to one conclusion so far and that is the rejection of it all. Link to comment
EyesOnThePrize Posted April 16, 2008 Author Share Posted April 16, 2008 Just bumping this up for any who might be interested. Link to comment
EyesOnThePrize Posted May 11, 2008 Author Share Posted May 11, 2008 Because I'm bored tonight, I'm going to bump a couple of old posts...like this one. Link to comment
postscript Posted May 11, 2008 Share Posted May 11, 2008 All my partners have been different I believe. I only know three of them well enough to compare but they all are very very different and the way the relationships ended are entirely different too. Maybe it's because I'm an eclectic person who has mood swings and never feels the same on a different day of the week. Haha. Link to comment
EyesOnThePrize Posted July 3, 2008 Author Share Posted July 3, 2008 The article I link in the first post in this thread was a huge eye-opener for me, and I've corresponded with the author a bit, and think others may get value from this article, too. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.