Jump to content

Did anyone here have a Mutual Breakup? If so how have you interpreted it so far?

Recommended Posts

I am just wondering how far people have come along. I am a little disappointed at the fact that I still kind of compare my life to my exes even though we havnt talked for like almost 2 years! My mutual breakup kind of still had me acting like I was dumped. my mind would block out the bad and concentrate on the good. To be fair I have made a little bit of progress but not nearly enough to say I can stand on my own 2 feet yet! How is everyone else doing?

Link to comment

My ex-college bf and I had a mutual break up.


After 2 years dating and 5 years living together, we both felt something was missing from the relationship. After a lot of painful discussions and a few months of couples' counseling, it was clear to both of us that we were no longer headed in the same direction or wanting the same things out of life. We mutually decided that it would be best to split.


We still lived together for nearly a year after we decided that. There were several reasons for that, one being to ride out to the end of our apartment's lease. It also gave both of us time to financially prepare to live alone. In those months, we actually got along pretty well. We went on a nice vacation (we had booked a cruise before we decided to break up.) together.


When we split, we didn't talk to each other for about a year. There was no animosity that brought on NC. It was just too damn painful and awkward to be hanging out with each other right after we (physically) split. About a year later, we ran into each other at the grocery store (still lived in the same neighborhood), and picked up a friendship.


The break up happened, oh, it'll be 17 years ago this fall. To this day he's the only ex I keep in touch with. He's met every guy I've seriously dated since we re-kindled our friendship. The guy I ended up marrying is the only guy I dated who he liked. He's married to a woman who's a much better match for who he is now than I ever could've been. When we all lived in the same city, me and my husband and he and his wife would all get together for dinner every couple months.


There can be such a thing as a mutual break-up...but it's rare. It requires people to set aside a lot of BS and be all those great things human beings can be -- compassionate, respectful, caring. That's hard to do when you're hurting.


My ex-college bf had a great example of it though. His parents got divorced when he was a pre-teen....with a minimum of drama and animosity. Both his mom and dad re-married other people....and both couples were friendly with each other. When all 4 of them were still alive, they'd get together and have dinner & card playing evenings quite frequently and went on vacation together a number of times.


I've never had another break-up that's been as lacking in animosity. It sure as heck didn't hurt any less, but it was a huge help that it didn't get nasty. I firmly believe this is the main reason why I am still friends with him and none of my other exes.

Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...