I contacted her after the texts.... bad idea... now what...?

[rjm0827]

I posted this in the NC challenge thread. I need advice badly...

 

Well today was day 30?, a month regardless.

 

She has texted me 4 times within the past few days, I never responded. Today I went out with some buddies and we drank and what not, and well.... I called her..... she didn't answer. Within a few minutes I received a text message "Do you need something?". I responded 10 minutes later, "Just wanted to clear up some stuff. Call me later if u want to talk. If not, maybe another day."

 

All her texts were angry toned and she was pissed at me for whatever reasons. Literally 1 minute later she called. We talked for like 15 minutes. I played my hard attitude and acted like nothing bothered me. She broke down a few times. Nothing bad, just the norm since we went from 5.5 years dating to me ignoring her for a month solid. It was ok~ I supose. I ended the conversation prematurely and told her I would talk to her eventually.

 

I texted her back 30 minutes later. "Look, I want to be friends. We need to just meet up one day this week and have lunch and end on a good note. Not over the phone." Besides feeling the way I do, I showed no weakness, I don't want her thinking she has me on the ropes. I wish I never ever called her tonight b/c yesterday she was the last thing on my mind now she's the only thing on my mind!!! Maybe when all the alchohol wears off I will feel better?... I just miss her now, and I already broke down by sending her a text, even though it wasn't nothing sappy. GOD THIS SUCKS.

 

Adding some more here.

 

She was upset about me not letting her see the puppy I bought when we were together, or so her texts said. I asked about that and she said that wasn't it. She was upset about that but that wasn't the real reason she was so bothered. She said the only reason I was calling her was probably b/c I was drunk, she had no clue I had been drinking, I assured her that wasn't the case. True, if I hadn't drank I would have never called her, but everything I said was the truth.

 

She is still talking to this guy she meet after we broke up. I asked her about him and she said they would never date, he had too many issues. She asked me about my situation. I told her I was talking to a few girls, but nothing serious, I was just having fun being single.

 

I want us to meet up and talk and just see what happens. I never thought talking to her would bother me, I was doing so great and moving on I never imagined it would bother me the slighest, but it did. I'm positive I could wake up in the morning and just start this NC all back over and just ignore her next barrage of texts, but after tonight I'm not sure I want to. I don't want to seem needy b/c I'm not. I just want us to talk and see what happens.

 

What do I do from here? Wait a few days and see what she does or do I try and initiate contact after a few days since I was the one blowing her off after her first few texts? I think I will know what I need to do after some self-thinking, I just like to hear opinions from someone on the outside. Thanks guys!

[renaissancewoman101]

Are you going to try to meet up with her one time this week to talk it out?

 

Might as well get that done and over with and go back to NC, if that is what you decide afterwards.

 

i can tell you miss her a lot and want to reconcile and if not, just stay friends.

[littlestar]

You seem very confused!

I think you need to take time to think what you really want.

[rjm0827]

For this past month I was positive I just wanted to move on and forgot it all. Don't get me wrong, I still do. But now I have this doubt in the back of my mind now. After talking to her tonight I'm just not sure. I want us to talk over lunch or something this week and just go ahead and get it out of the way so I know how we both feel. I think it's just the rush of emotions from the first bit of contact in a while, and hopefully in the next few days I'll be good again. But who knows....

[renaissancewoman101]

So do you guys have a lunch planned?

 

Or are you going to ask her to have lunch with you and you guys can hash out the issues, or see if you guys click as friends?

[rjm0827]

I sent her a text about maybe getting together this week and doing that about 30 mins after we talked tonight. I got no response but I'm pretty sure it's b/c it was 2am~ and she has class early tomorrow. If she dosen't respond then it's a easy decision for me, forget it and keep on moving on. If she responds tomorrow then i'll post again.

 

Edit: "Look, I want to be friends. We need to just meet up one day this week and have lunch and end on a good note. Not over the phone."

 

That's the text I sent. I was pretty blunt and too the point on the phone about only wanting to be friends and that's the only reason I was calling. I just think it would be better served in person.

[rjm0827]

UPDATE

 

We did lunch today. I picked it up and took it to her place. First time we saw one another in like a month and a week. We chatted and ate and just caught up on whats been going on. We both knew we were meeting to talk things over and just see where one another stood. She asked about who all I was talking to and had been with. She said just thinking about it made her feel sick to her stomach. She said she is still kinda talking to this one guy and that he still came over some. She also said she was ready to just end it all with him. She keep reinforcing that even though I never even asked about it. Now that I think back, she asked all the questions and then just answered her own questions too without me asking, like she wanted me to know. She asked why I had just dropped off the planet and why I wouldn't hang out with our mutal friends when she was around. I told her I just didn't want to be around her. This seemed to bother her. She also made it a point to tell me she isn't hanging out with all her new friends she was with right after we broke up.

 

I don't have false hopes, because after today I'm still fairly certain I don't want her back, but it seems like she wants to maybe try again. I guess this is more of a vent/update for myself. Yes, I do miss her, but nothing like I did. Would I consider getting back together? Maybe later down the road. I just will never be her backup plan which is kinda how it seems. I know she liked this guy but I don't think he feels the same for her. She's said it and so has her friends. Comments/advice is welcomed.