Ex girlfriend's little sister built a snowman and named it after me...

[Mustang]

I know it means nothing but this made me really sad!

 

My ex girlfriend's sister has been speaking to me on MySpace lately saying she misses me and that she built a snowman recently and named it after me. She's only 12 but when I was at my ex girlfriend's house, we'd often take her little sister out to places with us.

 

I was always really close to her family. Her auntie has invited me round for coffee when I next back at home.

 

I just don't know what to make of it all really. I know it has nothing to do with my ex, but it does makes things harder when people close to your ex are so lovely to you when you ex doesn't care at all.

 

I'm trying not to contact my ex for a while. LC is all well and good but I've kind of learnt from other posters that all this really seems to do is boost HER ego and make HER feel less guilty. She doesn't have to contact me because she knows that I will. I told her a few weeks ago that I still care about her and sometimes wish I had another chance and she ignored it only to text me back the next day saying that her phone that wasn't working was now working again. No mention of my previous text to her. Ignore it and it'll go away perhaps?

 

It just bugs me that whenever I've mentioned anything to close to the bone, like meeting up sometime or me missing her, she'll ignore it but she'll still respond with something completely unrelated. Why bother? She knows what I want and how I feel. Why bother keeping me in her life when she clearly has no interest in me anymore?

 

Sometimes I think positive and think to myself that the fact she's keeping me around shows that maybe she doesn't want things to be so final. When I met her uni friends a few weeks ago, they were all overly nice to me. Her family are nice to me. It makes me think that I'm not a bad guy. I just feel like my ex could be scared to let her guard down. She's worried she'll look weak for going back. There must be a point to all these "hello, how are you?" "I'm fine thanks" text messages... but then again, probably not.

 

Then I get moments of sheer embarrassment when I think to myself I look like an absolute idiot for chasing a lost cause.

[Andy_2007]

don't let things like this cloud your judgement. you were bound to form relationships with your ex's family when you were with her, this generally always happens in long term rels.

 

sadly, it means absolutely nothing whatsoever to the situation with your ex.

 

them still being nice to you does not mean anything about her emotional state. and ultimately, they will always side with her on any decision she makes. that's what families are there for.

 

i'd cut all contact with her family if it's making you feel bad...and tell them why.

 

luckily for me, my ex's family were universally a bunch of miserable, sad-sack weaklings who had the personalities of dead halibut. this made my ex a nutcase and by extension me single.

[Mustang]

Oh yeah. I know it means nothing. It just brought my ex into the front of my mind. Hence the rant.

[GameX]

Mustang,

 

I can relate to you about the ex's family. My ex had 4 younger siblings, from 5 years old to 16 years old. The youngest was born after we started dating, so I have seen her grow up from day 1. I actually still hang out with the oldest one. Me and her go out to the movies every week or two. A month or two before the break up, I was trying to spend a lot of time with her family, since we had just gotten engaged, so we took the kids out often. That made it so much harder when we broke up. I still occasionally keep in contact with my ex's mother too.

 

I don't think I do this to try and hang around for my ex. I just enjoyed spending time with her siblings. When we go out, we don't even really talk about my ex, we just have a good time. I have gone well over 40 days NC by now, and I think I am getting over her. A part of me is afraid that my ex thinks I am hanging out with her sister because I can't let go, but I don't want her to think that.

 

You are right, being close to the ex's family does make it tougher to move on. I have been trying to slowly contact her family less and less, and eventually I will stop. As for the older sibling, I will still hang out with her. I considered her like a sister, but now she is just a really good friend. I don't see any point in loosing a good friend along with my girlfriend.

[Mustang]

A part of me is afraid that my ex thinks I am hanging out with her sister because I can't let go, but I don't want her to think that.

 

Same with me.

 

Another concern I have is that it will make NC pointless if my ex hears how I am and what I'm up to from her family but to be perfectly honest, I very much doubt my ex has an opinion on me anymore. It feels like that anyway.