All men over 30 please read this.

[ilinara]

This is about a guy I like a lot and I can't understand if he likes me or not. We started talking a few weeks ago. It was like his eyes were changing when talking to me and at a point I got the feeling he will make a move to start things. But it got all less with time. It is like his interest is fading.

[dfcannon]

I'm a guy over 30, and I find his behavior puzzling, but I also find your behavior puzzling. What's so interesting is how rich and nuanced your observations are. It's as if you two are playing or dancing together, but are not connecting on anything other than some light, spiritual level.

 

If you are interested in him, or he is interested in you, then you will need to bring reality into the picture by means of time and communication. Time together, that is. Communication that requires taking risks of rejection.

 

As a 38 year-old, I find this guy rather immature. It's not as if he is in an awkward situation, in which case I'd understand his reluctance to take things further. Instead, he seems unfocused and unsure of himself. You didn't state how old you are, but you must be under 30, and I suggest you should expect more from a man over 30.

 

Hope this helps. Best thing to do is confront him on how he feels, but I'm not sure that will have the best ultimate outcome, because it seems he's not really available for you or for anyone else at this time....

[idunno]

i agree with the last guy except i dont really have the info on this guy to figure him out. at 30 i was probably pretty messed up and confused just like at 21. children make a man grow up i think. mine forced me into adulthood. dont think just because hes 30 he has it together.

[ilinara]

At the point he showed less interest I thought ok, maybe I am not sending out clear enough signs and have acted much more directly with my interest and changed things. Wants to be sure of my interest before he makes a move?

[dfcannon]

I am very much attracted, I hide it so well

 

Well, this is part of the problem. Why are you hiding your feelings so much?? I mean, you're both in your thirties. This is real life. High school was a long time ago.

 

I sense that you almost enjoy this game you're playing...you made it clear you're proud how well you hide. Well, time to get over the pride and take a risk.

[ilinara]

I am not proud of it at all, it's me who is loosing.

[ilinara]

The feeling that he likes me is gone

[Cid]

1 I think he is sincere. 2 I think that he is giving you some time. 3 I dont think that this is the one. Now I know that I am young but this is what I think.

[ilinara]

Giving me time for what? This is really annoying.

[Alessio]

At the point he showed less interest I thought ok, maybe I am not sending out clear enough signs and have acted much more directly with my interest and changed things. Wants to be sure of my interest before he makes a move?

 

I'm amazed that dfcannon could give you the reply he did when you haven't really told us anything. I have to say that you are treating this like it's some kind of experiment when in reality the pair of you will either click or you won't. I don't believe in forcing things myself.