I feel really bad right now !

[tsubasa]

My ex.girlfriend broke up with me last week.She ended our 1 year and nine months relationship.She said she want to be with other people.She didn't really gave me a good reason why she wants to break up.

When we were together I do everythings for her,I tried my best to make her happy,I tried to do everything she wants.Everything went good until last couple of months.She keeps on being mean to me ,she swear at me,yell at me...I didn't mind I still love her ,and I tried to make her calm and happy.I did almost everything I can.But she didn't appreciate it.What she said to me is how annoying I am.AM I really a bad boyfriend,pick her up after work almost every week,prepare food for her,on her birthday ,I made her candle dinner becasue all her ex.Bf never gave her that in her life...etc.I did all I can ,Why can't she appreciate it,why does she have to dump me becasue she want another guy and said Im annoying.at first I thought maybe I did something really wrong and made her mad. I bought flowers,and the card I made to her house and apologize to her.She told me to leave the house or else she will call the police ,she said IM so stuid .She said she don't love me no more.She want me to leave her life alone.What did I do wrong. I just can't stop thinking baout her .I really really love her.I wrote her email and wrote her the way I feel about her.I called her but she hands up on me...I feel like im so dum.I feel stupid ,useless.she make me feel like Im the worse boyfriend in the world.If she can tell me what the problem is ,I can change for her ,I can do anything she wants.But she haven't gave me a chance. I dont know what to do.

[mahlina]

Wow, you really worshipped her didn't you?

 

No, you were not a bad boyfriend. I'm sorry to break it to you, but she's clearly rejecting you in every aspect, even to the point where she might call the cops. Don't you think that's a bit extreme? I mean, if she truly does not appreciate your love for her, and is all of a sudden kicking you off the curb, don't you think that's somewhat unhealthy?

 

Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't appreciate your efforts, and then kicks sand in your face only to tell you that you're not good enough?

 

In a healthy relationship, people don't swear at you, they kindly respect your efforts and love you for what you are. I think that you should refrain from her a while. Sounds like she's scared of you.

 

Take a 180. Completely stop what you are doing right now, I'm sensing that she's a bit turned off. Once you stop worshipping the ground she walks on, maybe she'll turn around and ask you back.

 

Meanwhile, there are plenty of people who would enjoy your company. You should take some time out, and love yourself, not her. You're hurt, so concentrate on mending your heart. Good Luck!

[rednalexa]

hmm this is a hard one. You are in a terrible situation and i can sympathize because i have been there. I learnt from the experience that people change - grow apart and decide that the people they are with (who, like you treat them so so well) are not at the same stage in their life, or maybe do not have enough in common any more to keep them together. You deserve better than to be abused like that.

Good Luck

[tsubasa]

thanks alot.I know what u mean but it is not easy to stop thinking about her .U know what im trying to say right?Thanks for reply to my topic.I never knew she will act like this.I trust her alot,I never want her hurt her so I perfer to hurt myself.Maybe she will get a better boyfriend ,someone thats alot batter then me.I feel confuse

[tsubasa]

she even told me that she don't want nothing to do with me.she said she wouldn care If I die in a accident ...etc ,What did I do wrong? Thats the problem ,I dont understand why she have ot be so cold to me.It really hurt,I tried to tell her that.She said its not her problem.SHe can do whatever she want.she told me If I want to stay with her ,I have to listen to waht she said.And I did listen ,I did everything she wants but still not good enought.

[mahlina]

Oh, no don't say that. It's not that she'll find someone better than you, it's just incompatiblity. It didn't work out.

 

Don't put yourself down. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. This girl probably ain't all that anyway! No, really, don't bend your back to please someone who backstabs you. There's no need to be submissive and say that she'll find someone better than you.

 

One day, she'll look back and appreciate what you did for her. Of course, it's a confusing time for you. I know how hard it is to get hurt. But, truly, don't put yourself down for her. Take care of yourself. Like I said, love yourself. You really need to find that peace in your heart. Her abuse is too toxic for you.

[mk]

I am sorry to hear that. Here is what you should do. Girls love challenges. If you do everything for her, she treat you like as you are worthless. So, next time, don't do everything she say, do less mean more.

 

Try to love each other and balance out the relationship. Treat her with nice and then with pain sometime. She will then respect you and treat you as a challenge, hard to get. Try different thing, you have your own life too. So, be a man, treat her like a woman.

[tsubasa]

There won;t be any chances.she never gave me one.I didnt even know what I did wrong I can do is wait and see.Im trying my best to not think about it too much but it's not easy.I respect girls alot.I don't like to tread them bad.I love to listen and do things for them.All I can say is I feel lonely without her.

[tsubasa]

If she can give me a chance.I will do anything anything to be batter for her.

[mahlina]

Sounds like you're going through the first stage of the grieving process, denial. I learned about this in sociology class, and enotalone does have a topic about it as well.

 

This is how the stages work, I used the acronym DABDA, to memorize it.

 

1. Denial- you're in denial about the breakup.

2. Anger- you are angry, frustated about the whole scenario, angry at yourself, angry at the world, and most of all, angry at your partner.

3. Bargaining- you will do anything to go back in time and change things, you attempt to save the relationship.

4. Depression- This is the longest phase for some people. You are sad, and will remain sad for quite some time.

5. Acceptance- you've accepted that the relationship is over, and are ready to move on.

 

Periodically, however, you will swing back and forth between stages, but each time you go back, the time spent in those stages do shorten, unless if you continue on keeping contact with the ex. Everytime you keep in touch with your ex, you will move back to starting over in square one, the denial stage.

 

I respect the fact that you respect women, but there's a limit to that you know. The let's wait and see approach won't benefit you. It clearly shows that you are in the denial/bargaining stage.

 

I hope that this explanation helps. The pain that you're going through is almost like watching a kid at a dentists' office, not wanting to let go of their mother b/c, clinging too hard, crying and screaming b/c they're too scared of the pain.

 

You sound so terrified, but I truly hope that this forum will help you in the healing process. Cheer up. Find yourself. She's not your world. Take care! Healing will take time, but you really need to sever ties with her in order to go back to 'normalcy'!

 

Take Care!

[musicguy]

You weren't a bad boyfriend at all, in fact you did all of the right things toward her, but she didn't appreciate the things that you do/did for her and you don't really deserve a girl who is inconsiderate or unappreciative of the way you treat her. Move on and find a girl who WILL appreciate the things that you do for her. Good luck.

 

Musicguy

[kuhl282000]

Hang in there !!!!!!

 

I know it is really tough and what we all say may or may not help the pain you are feeling at present. Don't you just wish you could take a pill and make it all go away. Emotional pain has to be the hardest pain to go through for anyone. After reading your story, I wanted to say sounded like you did everything you could. However the more you push now, the more she goes away. "No more contact" is the best answer. And accept the fact that it is over. Don't watch the phone waiting for it to ring. Even though I know you will. No Begging....that never works anyway. Remember the good times and remember, some people come into your life and they stay for a short period of time, some stay longer, and I'm sure you wanted her to stay for a lifetime. Most relationships don't last a lifetime. You will find love again, but not today, and not tomorrow. Just get busy, and try not to think about her. Let her more on, and one day she may or may not realize what she lost....A really good guy" but that does not mean you will be together. If she comes back...then god bless....sounds to me she has moved on, now it is your turn.......how do I know all of this, because I'm going through the same thing myself right now. If you want to talk on a personal level feel free to drop me a line and maybe we can help each other work through this. I'm hurting myself, and have been trying to get over the love of my life and soulmate. And she is more than likely gone forever. To survive I have to move on. And I have had no contact, and that has been really hard for me. And oh how I wish the phone would ring. But it never does. And it may never. So I can drive myself crazy, or I can get back in the game of life. I choose life, please do the same. Hang tough my friend, and remember some questions in life will always go unanswered. Let it Go !!!!!!

My email is email removed I live in Orlando Florida.

 

Eat some Turkey tomorrow and get some rest and take care of you.

Kuhl

[rocklynvela]

From all that ma pals have said and all the advice they've given i think you just got to accept it and let it go.you dont have to force a gal to love u and even that will mean for sure that you are always going to be hanging on tentahooks cos in the first place the bases is wrong, there got to be some level of love existing b/n you two.i dont understand why you looking so down on yourself and think you can never love anybody else apart from her for God sake mate be a man . I dont even think thats love in the first place. If the love is gone for her dont push it mate move on with life.Who knows maybe her dumping you now is the best for the two of you and surely somebody is there waiting for you somebody that will take you for who you are, love,respect and treat you as the man whom you suppose to be.I agree with you on doing everything for this girl,thats how its suppose to have been but if she doesn't see the good in you mate let her go.

I've a problem with you thinking that its your fault she's dumping you.She just want to explore with other guys but she'll realize her folly sooner or later, there aint much good guys like you around and surely you are gonna get somebody to love you again and u to love her.I pray you want hold back and be that stern and hard with the next person that'll come into ya life.Dont live your life trying to please people man you are more than wot u think you are and dont allow some girl to make you think you are nothing.Believe in yourself and i'll take a break to turn your mind back to wot Mahlina adviced you about.Take care......God loves you too and pray to God so that you can get over her and move on wit life.Life is too short for you to waste it on a single girl ...........Jesus is the answer talk to him and you shall find all the comfort,joy and happines in this life..........God bless you and take care...xxxxxxxxxpeace