Closed to dating

[Unmotivated]

Lately I've been surprised at the interest I've been getting from girls. In the past when girls didn't talk to me I figured it was because I was too ugly or something. But lately I've found that if I just go up and break the ice, most girls are really friendly to me, and some of them flirt with me.

 

Three of my female classmates from different classes seem to be fairly attracted to me (plus a few more that I don't get quite as strong of a vibe from). Part of me says I should ask them out, but there is another part of me that's holding back.

 

The last few times I dated, I was really into the girl. I might even say that I got a bit obsessed each time. At home I would be thinking about the girl in the back of my mind and everything I did seemed like just a means to pass the time until the next time I'd see the girl in class or on a date. In each case the dating didn't end up going anywhere, and afterward it would be awkward between her and I.

 

So at this point I am really hesitant to try again. I don't want to get so emotionally invested like I was before, and I always stress over trying to figure out when I should ask a girl out and trying to think of a good date, etc. I'm not worried about getting rejected. I'm pretty confident that these girls are interested enough that they'd be willing to go on a date. It's just feels like the whole formality of dating is a lot of work and stress that I don't really need right now.

 

I keep telling myself that I just need go for it and see what happens, and try to learn from the experience. But part of me just wants to close off towards these girls and keep on doing what I'm doing.

 

It's kind of odd--Things are going great in my life right now. I've never felt better. But I'm really having a hard time deciding what to do about this part of my life, and worrying about it just tends to depress me.

 

I don't know... Any advice?

[skern]

I could say just go out there and things will get better the more you try, however, you seem an awful lot like a client of mine I had last year with similar insecurities so to speak. If interested, if you are willing to invest a 20-30 minute session for yourself, I think I can help shake loose whatever is making you hesitate.

 

Otherwise, my advice is simply, just go with the flow, and do what feels natural. If you can't force yourself to see inside what might be your hold up, then just keep moving forward and eventually time will get you there.