Question, Short N sweet But Need Lots of Different Answers

[mntnabanana888]

I have noticed I have a big insecurity problem of losing my boyfriend's interest or love in me. I am also insecure about a girl that he is friends with that is desperately trying to get him to like her. How can I get over my insecurity because I have noticed it is causing me nothing but stress and worry, but at the same time it is not so easy to just stop.

[mahlina]

Ouch! Sticky situation. First of all, since you are exclusive with your boyfriend, that means that he should not be hanging around with someone whom he knows is trying to get fresh with him.

 

I'm pretty sure that he knows that she's hitting on him. This girl may be the flirtatious type. However, she should respect your relationship regardless of her nature.

 

Talk about this issue with your boyfriend. Consult with him first. He is your partner, and deserves to know how you feel despite your insecurities. That's a part of being in a relationship, disclosing even the worst of your flaws.

 

If he sees that it's bothering you and attempts to stop, and actually tries to work it out with you, then I would suggest that you have your answer. He should not shrug the problem off, and say that 'you're insecure, so you need to stop'.

 

A relationship takes 2 people to make a commitment to make it work. This is just a hurdle that the 2 of you must overcome. If the problem persists, attempt to talk to him again. Otherwise, you have enotalone for advice.

 

Good luck with the situation!

[dfcannon]

Is your boyfriend seeming to pull away from you, either because of this other girl or some other reason(s)? If so, then your concerns and fears are justified, and you need to talk to him.

 

If you and your bf are very close and you know in your heart that you're exaggerating things, then you still need to tell him that when he talks to her, or does any other thing that worries you, that it causes you a lot of anxiety.

 

The point I'm trying to make is that if he's the right bf for YOU, then he will be sensitive to your feelings and concerns and change his behavior. If he's not right for you, then you'll know because he doesn't listen enough or care enough or know enough, and you need to be with someone who IS.

 

Don't be too hard on yourself for being who you are.

[The Morrigan]

Talk to him about it a bit - there's also that us girls are usually MUCH quicker to notice when another girl likes our guys and isn't just being playful than they are.

 

Case in point - my ex bf... we used to go out in a group that included my best girl friend and some of her friends. One of those friends had a thing for him, she'd ask him to dance and get VERY flirtatious and suggestive. I talked to him about it, he was like "oh, that's just Laura, she doesn't mean anything by it, she knows we're a couple." Uh HUH, sure she does... a few weeks later, same thing, but she went as far as putting her hands in his FRONT pockets dancing up behind him! He was TOTALLY shocked, and practically hid behind me for the rest of the night! He had thought I was just being jealous and overreacting, because he didn't think she would seriously move on him knowing he was taken, especially with someone she knew.

 

Just talking to him about it (even though he thought I was insane at first lol) did help though, because where I thought he was just being insensitive and enjoying the attention before I spoke to him, I found out he was just oblivious - and after he was aware I was right about her intentions, he avoided her like the plague.