MissyMercer Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 My boyfriend and I have been together for about six months. I'm madly in love with him; He's an amazing guy. He's the Perfect guy... But he told me about a week ago that he wanted to do my best friend. His exact words were "I wanna * mod edit * that girl!" I decided not to say anything, which was a mistake. But he could tell that I didn't approve of what he said, because he explained to me about how males have evolved to reproduce and * mod edit * as many women as possible to keep the species alive or whatever... I understand that... but now I just keep hearing that in my head. I can't stand thinking about it, it's driving me crazy. He explained that the difference between a good guy and a bad guy is a bad guy would go out and just do it, and a good guy would know not to do it because He and I are "compatable"... I know he's not gonna go do my friend, but I just can't stop thinking about it and I get really angry and hurt... So, what do I do? Link to comment
greensleeves Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 What he said to you was very insensitive and I don't blame you for feeling angry and hurt. I get awfully tired of hearing the old "keeping the species alive" excuse when men cheat, personally I think it's a bunch of crap. Women also want to reproduce just as much as men, if not more. Do they think that women are never attracted to other men just because they've committed to someone? He is going to find other women attractive and you will likely find other men attractive. As long a neither of you act on it, then that's okay and normal. Just tell him to keep his thoughts on these things to himself from now on. Don't tell your friend what he said. Link to comment
judyness Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 i kick him straight in the balls and say fine let me pick which friend of yours i want to FRUCK! Link to comment
MissyMercer Posted February 27, 2008 Author Share Posted February 27, 2008 What he said to you was very insensitive and I don't blame you for feeling angry and hurt. I get awfully tired of hearing the old "keeping the species alive" excuse when men cheat, personally I think it's a bunch of crap. Women also want to reproduce just as much as men, if not more. Do they think that women are never attracted to other men just because they've committed to someone? He is going to find other women attractive and you will likely find other men attractive. As long a neither of you act on it, then that's okay and normal. Just tell him to keep his thoughts on these things to himself from now on. Don't tell your friend what he said. I won't thankyou Link to comment
ResonanceTheory Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 Perhaps that old proliferation of the species excuse worked in the days when we lived in caves and went to the bathroom in holes in the ground, but things have changed. We no longer have to hunt for food--I assume he shops at publix like everyone else--seeing as there is a surplus of it in most post-industrial countries (third world nations excepting). Likewise, we also have an over-abundance of people in this world--and unless your boyfriend is some particularly rare specimen, I doubt the the human population will have any problem replacing him. While we are still animals, we have evolved, and we no longer need to reproduce as frequently as before. I too think that this is a despicable excuse for cheating and and extremely disrespectful to you, as a girlfriend, to hear. Seriously, What a disgusting thing. His "excuse" is not an excuse at all. It's sad because sometimes people aren't comfortable enough in the relationship to express when they're really upset with something that their partner has said because they're afraid it'll result in a conflict that is fatal to the relationship. I would really express my feelings to him next time--as what he said to you was not only chauvinist, but shows either an underlying lack of respect or lack of understanding of what is hurtful and offensive to you, as a woman and a significant other. And if he can't handle the fact that you're honest with your feelings, then he doesn't deserve to be with you, and you don't deserve to be subjected to that lack of consideration. In my opinion, not "long term" material. Link to comment
greensleeves Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 This is a very funny post...I tried to give you some rep, but I did awhile ago so the system won't let me yet. I also agree with your advice on him not being long term material. While it's normal to find members of the opposite sex attractive, even when you're in a relationship, it's totally insensitive to bring it to your partner's attention, especially in such a crass manner. Not a "perfect" guy by any stretch of the imagination. Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 With someone like this, i'd be tempted to point to his best friend and say, 'i think i want him to be father of my children, because women are programmed to find the best genetic material to father their offspring... and besides, he's hotter than you...' This guy is an ape... if he wants to go all primal on you, let him find another chimpanzee... you are wonderful, civilized human being who deserves more respect than he's giving you, and don't need a crass, obnoxious, disrespectful guy like this. Find someone who treats you better and has evolved into a human being. Link to comment
RayKay Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 because he explained to me about how males have evolved to reproduce and * mod edit * as many women as possible to keep the species alive or whatever.Wow. I would suggest men have actually evolved to not act on their penis. What separates us from animals whom do do it like rabbits is having rational thought and other priorities (like taking care of our children we "reproduce" and being committed to our family units, or having empathy and compassion for our partners). The human species is doing fine without him needing to "reproduce". I feel sad that you accept that kind of excuse and behaviour from someone. If a guy said that to me? I would be telling him well, alright then..go reproduce elsewhere but it's not going to be with me. A guy whom has no class, taste, respect and justifies bad behaviour is as far from perfect as I can think of. His definition of a "good guy" is warped. A good guy would maybe look (discreetly - people look) but not feel the need to rub it in his partners face, make justifications for it, belittle her feelings and be a complete jerk. Link to comment
PixelPusher Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 ...because he explained to me about how males have evolved to reproduce and... as many women as possible to keep the species alive or whatever... Please. What a pathetic excuse. Link to comment
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