I wrote my ex's new boyfriend, was it right?

[MTVBreakupSFkid]

I do feel better though.

 

background: 5 yr relationship, i was going to propose on Chirstmas, 10 grand tiffany ring, went to drop off her surprise Anniv. gift and i found her hanging out with another guy on our Anniversary.

 

She then broke up with me over the phone the next day. Saying she wanted to see this guy

 

That was this past Saturday. 11/15

 

I now have to see a therapist. i am depressed, and even suicidal.

I havent eaten or slept.

 

So....

i took the liberty to write this guy a note. Not a threat, but a warning of how she ruined my life, how she has a histroy of lying, cheating, and jealousy. How i was going to propose this upcoming Christmas, how it was our anniversary, and how she lied to him saying she didnt have a boyfriend. How she broke up with me before, back then i took back a promise ring. She threatened lawsuits. It was a gift, but i was being betrayed so i had to take it back.

 

I also told him how she will trick you into thinking she is a cool girlfriend..but it is a trap. Her words, not mine. She likes to play up the fact she is ok with alot of guy things, then will make it a fact a few months later she hated that stuff and was only doing it to have you be be wrapped up in her fingers.

 

Basically every thing i learned about this girl over the 5 years.

I have slumped into the worse depression ever, i really love this girl.

 

Its weird because you love them alot (hell i wanted to get married), but yet you hate them for dumping you this (before the holidays too!) and jealousy for the other guy (he has money i dont)

[Mar]

Hi, and thank you for coming to us with your problem. I agree that that was definitely a very, VERY bad scene to happen on your anniversary, with no forewarning whatsoever, and I think all of us can empathize with the hurt you're going through.

 

However, as far as the note goes, I probably wouldn't have done that, only because (I think, anyway) that, if you really think about it, you weren't doing it out of some noble cause to help out this guy, but as a form of revenge on her, maybe thinking he'll break up with her and she'll feel the hurt you're feeling. As I've said, this is JUST my thought, having done a similar thing in the past with the same "honorable intentions." Ha. Not honorable, just striking out....lol But what's done is done, and I'd leave it alone now. If you haven't actually SENT the note, I would suggest you don't. If you have, then so be it. Now you carry on as best you can and try to heal yourself.

 

Also keep in mind that you gave this girl a lot of love, and that you did nothing wrong. (Not that you said you thought you did, but I know that doubts sometimes creep in to the effect of "I should have done this", or "If I'd just done that"....) Your relationship ended in an awful way, but don't let this prevent you from going out there when you're ready to and try again.......for every 1 woman out there that will do something like that, there are 20 that WON'T. Good luck to you, and feel free to let us know how you're doing, we're always here.

 

 

Mar

[flowerpower]

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I'm actually going through a very similar one right now. The best advice I heard from someone was on the website. Unfortunately, she is broken...and you cannot fix her. She's not sure what she wants. You know what you want....that makes you so far ahead in life. You are able to make decisions in life, and stick with them. You don't get scared and run away like others in our generation. We've become a "throw away" society, change the channel with the remote if your bored, etc. BUT DON'T LET THAT AFFECT YOU. Keep your attitude, your honestly, and always be true to yourself. If she wants to go, let her go. I am sure inside that you love her enough that you truly want her to be happy. So let her do what she wants...that's the greatest thing you could EVER do for someone you truly love.

 

In the meantime, hang-in there. Talk to a therapist, that's what I did over the past several weeks, and it helps! Talk to friends, read stuff on this website, etc. It sucks, I know. But you are too important in this world to even think about not contributing your entire life to it. You owe it to even the people you haven't met yet, the ones that you will truly make a difference in their lives...they are waiting for you...and you owe it to them to continue on.

 

The best revenge when life tosses you a curve ball is to make your life even more successful that you could have imagined. Take a few weeks to be down, but then take on life again. Don't look back now, you'll miss what's ahead of you.

[fionaterri2]

FlowerPower,,

 

 

I am going through the samething. It does get easier as time goes.

 

I love what you wrote.

The best revenge when life tosses you a curve ball is to make your life even more successful that you could have imagined

.

[MTVBreakupSFkid]

i know i should let by gones be by gones...but revenge is sweet. I know its wrong. Its unhealthy, but im human.

 

So i get a call from the ex last night...guess what?

 

The guy got the letter, he read it, and told my ex that he was once hurt like how she hurt me, and he didnt want to see her anymore.

 

Now she is bummed that i ruined her life..so she says. But i was just imforming the guy of her past, because she has dont it before...she will do it again.

 

I only wish i had that kind of warning when i first met her 5 years ago. I spent everyday with her. A week was the longest we were apart.

 

But now im free..and i took the money from the engagement ring to pay for a trip to europe this Jan.