flowerpower

I hear you. I've been a frequent "watcher" of this website, but have never really posted many times. Unfortunately, I'm going through a similar situation...with my ex-fiance...she keeps making the same mistakes over and over again. Despite her breaking the engagement, I stuck with her throughout the past year, asking for no more lies. However, she continued to lie to her friends, family and me. I am convinced this all leads back to upbringing, wanted to please her parents, always afraid of disappointment, etc. Anyway, my point being, people have to WANT to change. It's their life, and you have yours. You can only control yours, and what people are part of it (and what they represent). Perhaps this boss represents something missing from her upbringing? Control and guidence,...who knows. And, it doesn't really matter. You have the point exactly-- control what you can. Your life. Just make sure she doesn't keep controlling yours like her boss is controlling her. Free yourself. I'm not free yet, but each day gets a bit easier.

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I'm actually going through a very similar one right now. The best advice I heard from someone was on the website. Unfortunately, she is broken...and you cannot fix her. She's not sure what she wants. You know what you want....that makes you so far ahead in life. You are able to make decisions in life, and stick with them. You don't get scared and run away like others in our generation. We've become a "throw away" society, change the channel with the remote if your bored, etc. BUT DON'T LET THAT AFFECT YOU. Keep your attitude, your honestly, and always be true to yourself. If she wants to go, let her go. I am sure inside that you love her enough that you truly want her to be happy. So let her do what she wants...that's the greatest thing you could EVER do for someone you truly love. In the meantime, hang-in there. Talk to a therapist, that's what I did over the past several weeks, and it helps! Talk to friends, read stuff on this website, etc. It sucks, I know. But you are too important in this world to even think about not contributing your entire life to it. You owe it to even the people you haven't met yet, the ones that you will truly make a difference in their lives...they are waiting for you...and you owe it to them to continue on. The best revenge when life tosses you a curve ball is to make your life even more successful that you could have imagined. Take a few weeks to be down, but then take on life again. Don't look back now, you'll miss what's ahead of you.

Here's my only advice...I had the same situation happen to me a year ago when my fiance called off the wedding. She came back a month later and we began to build a new relationship--- until I found out on my own that she had slept with someone else (the reason for calling off the wedding). I forgave her...unconditional love...however, despite a whole year of helping her through the worst times...and helping her to rebuild her confidence and love herself, she wants to be on her own...but not really... Within this past week, I found her post an ad on the on-line personal ads. My advice, these people will never be happy with the love of one person. Move on.