What to do now? (Long Thread - weekend update)

[robert7x]

Well I had an interesting weekend, for the most part. However, since i'm back here yet again, you all can guess that I have some issues

 

This may not belong at this section, but this is where i post all the time, so.. I guess read on if you feel like it.

 

Little Intro I met with this friend of mine I haven't seen for like 2-3 years. He was my best bud through high-school, but then we parted through college... I saw him couple of times while we were in college etc but we lost contact for 2 or so years.

I also have this Female, friend we'll call her SR... We are close... I've known her for a long time... Had a crush on her in high-school, she knew it, but nothing ever happened. I've been seeing her a lot lately as a friend. She knows my whole story etc. Everybody says how i changed for the good and am much better looking now etc. As far as her, she keeps telling me how i'm sexy, look great, great catch, keeps dancing with me (when i go out to the club), always around me etc. This made me feel something more for her YET AGAIN. Ok So now we can go on to the weekend.

 

PART 1: Friday

 

So Friday This buddy of mine and i went out. We went to all the places where everybody we know goes... 3 clubs pretty much. SR was at one club and we were at the other. We met some girls and some other friends of ours and were just hanging out. After a while we went to this club where SR was but i didn't know that she was there at the time. She texts me asking where i was so i tell her and she says she's there too to come see her etc. So i told my buddy i'll be right back and i went there to say Hi.

 

Well, it looks like she got a little drunk. She hugs me and kisses me and then starts talking about the reason she got drunk is because she has no-one. Anytime she has a guy, they move to another country after a while (it's like i'm saying this damn story, because all my girls leave the damn country). She needs a guy to love her etc. So here I am listening to all this and it's like she wants me to ask her out or something... I don't know.

 

So I tell her i have to leave because my friend's calling me... I told her we'll talk later. So my friend wanted to take these girls to my place... And i'm in no mood for any of this stuff now... I mean, i didn't really feel like havinga fling or one nighter at all. However, we talk to them, and they wanted to go, so we leave.

 

In the mean time as i'm driving, SR keeps texting me how she's drunk and the same stuff how she needs someone etc. So at this point i did something stupid... I asked her, well Would you like to go out with me? Now i'm going to type the conversation we had through texts:

SR: What do you mean, like date?

Me yes.

SR I don't think that would be a good idea, because i know you're only looking for a rebound. I know what you're going through.

Me I'm not. If i was, i wouldn't be asking you out then, i'd ask someone else. You know i care about you. Great relationships are built on friendship and i think we would be great.

SR You think? I don't know.

Me. Well, just think about it. I know you're a little drunk now and i don't want stuff to get weird between us. It's your decision.

SR But you're still not over your ex. I know what you're going through.

ME If i wanted her back, i'm sure i could, but i don't.

SR But we are friends, do you think we would be ok.

ME I think so. I think everything is happening for a reason and after 3 years that we didn't see each other, this could be the sign.

SR I know.

Me Just think about it, that's all.

 

This is where the conversation ended. I got home with my friend and those 2 girls and my friend went to bedroom with this girl, but i just talked to this girl. I was in no mood to do anything... I can't. A lot of crap happening here, i don't think having sex would make me feel any better. So after a while we took them home and that was Friday.

 

PART 2: Saturday

 

So Saturday, i don't hear from SR the whole day. I didn't want to text her or do anything. I figured she needed time to process stuff. Saturday Night, i go out with my friend again and we also met some other friends of mine that i didn't see in the same amount of time. They all barely recognized me... They can't believe that's me, how i changed, blah blah.

 

But I can sense they all missed me and were happy to see me. It felt good. However, I see that all these friends of mine are still the same as they were back when i knew them. They are all still stuck on the whole Bad Boy/gangster routine that i grew out of. We're all talking about the past and what we did, who we fought etc. and i'm like, that's past... it's over, yet for them they are still like that. They want to fight, drink, all the stuff that i'm really not into anymore. It's just weird.

 

So we hung out and it was fun catching up. We went to different places and we stayed at this one place where i knew SR was there. I didn't see her at the beginning, but as i was leaving I saw her there with friends and stuff, but i felt weird going over there to say hi or anything. So i get a text from her (it's like she knew) as we were leaving. "are you at so and so club" And i'm like Yes i was there but left 10min ago.

SR You could have said Hi

Me I didn't see you there until I left, and you looked busy.

SR Yeah Right (sarcastic)

ME I don't lie doll.

SR Ok.

 

That's where that ended and i didn't talk to her all night until Sunday night.

 

PART 3 - Sunday.

 

I tried getting in touch with her, just so we can talk etc. but she didn't answer. In the mean time i had to go test drive this M3 i wanted to buy and after that my friend and i went to a coffe shop just to relax.

I finnaly get a message from her, that she just woke up and we'll talk later.

I asked her if she wants to come over or meet somewhere, and she said she doesn't know yet.

 

I didn't hear from her until 9:30pm sunday. She calls and after the introduction we start the conversation:

 

SR so what did you want to talk about?

ME: (I'm thinking it's like she doesn't know)I just wanted to know if you thought about our conversation. I don't want stuff to get weird between us as they already kind of are.

SR I know you're only looking for a Rebound and i don't want to be that.

ME If i wanted a rebound, i could have had that the other night, but I didn't.

SR You're probably not ready for that either now, That just happens when it happens and then you'll know. Nothing is going to get weird between us, I still love you. It's all fine.

Me Ok then. I'm glad we got that sorted out.

 

And that's were it pretty much ended. So now, i don't feel so good. I feel like I lost someone again. The thing is I feel like i'm over my ex in so many ways. I haven't thoought about her at all really. I missed being in a relationship for some time now, but never missed her. I don't want to have anything to do with my ex.

 

As far as SR i feel like things are still going to be weird between us now. We can't go out as friends anymore because of this. When i see her, it's just going to be weird and I don't know... stupid.

 

I don't know if i should just take some time off from her as well, and try to let this go as well. I mean what are you comments (for those that actually read this all) on the whole situation and what should I do. I don't even have interest in purchasing this M3 i wanted. I wanted that car so bad, and now i don't care about it anymore... I swear it's like i'm going through a heartbreak again

 

R

[ccpjc]

ah robert my man..

 

i can tell u right now that this thing with "SR" was way to soon, as im sure you have figured out.

I can also tell you that dating on of your friends can be one of the worst things ever, I've been there before, it's better to leave them as friends, especially if she is friends with some of your friends.

 

It's good to see that you have gone out, if i remember correctly you don't like clubbing but at least you're getting back into the scene and trying to have some fun with your life.

 

I can tell you now, that what she is saying is the truth, you may feel for her, but in the end it won't be anything more than a rebound. I went out on Saturday, to the clubs, and for the first time in awhile I found some girls to be attractive again. I guess I'm starting to heal. I still miss my ex, but I find myself thinking about her less. I still wish I could call her and work things out, I really wanted to last night but I know in the end it's not going to accomplish anything.

 

You're a lot like me, I want to find someone else and date them, but when I really step back and think about it, I only want someone cause I don't want to be alone. It's also hard when so many of my friends have a bf/gf or in the process of having one. But for now I'm working on myself, this upcoming weekend, I'm taking one of my friends to an office party and next weekend I'm traveling to a different city for my friends gf's bday. I heard she has a lot of hot friends so we'll see from there.

 

But really in the end, the decision is yours. The only person who can make a decision for yourself is you. I can give you my thoughts but everyone is different no matter how much you and me are alike... still strange...

 

If you really want to be with SR, then don't push it, let things happen they way life has planned them to be. I look back now on some of the girls I wanted to be with in the past and honestly I'm glad they are my friends now instead of a gf or ex. The best friends I have are with those that I liked, since I know they will always be there for me and me for them

 

Just some food for thought. And dude.. go buy that M3 man, im jealous

 

Is your workplace hiring?

[robert7x]

I was hoping this thread would kind of die slowly... I know... I realize everything... Wish i could borrow the Delorean from Back to the future and go back to that day... I would have just ignored everything she said, but not possible.

 

I do like her... I always did, but you're right, it wouldn't have worked out... It's better off this way. I'll probably still have this crush on her, just because she's there and she's flirty that way... but I'll let it go slowly.

 

I'm not into clubbing still, but when i'm with my friends now, it feels great just hanging out... I mean i don't have to dance or make a fool out of myself so it's all good.

 

Like you, i thought that maybe if i'm with her, i'd fill this void of not wanting to be alone... But you know what, i would still be alone and it would probably screw up this relationship as well. I have to learn to chill and not think about jumping into these relationships... That's my goal now.

 

I'm actually back in the game of buying the M3... Will probably go get it this weekend. Saleen will go in the garage until i get bored with this one... Then swaparooney

 

I'm also glad you're getting better bud. Just when you look at both of our threads at the beginning, you'll see how far we came... I mean time really does heal all the wounds... It may not completely cured them, but it sure as hell is helping a lot. We'll both come out victorius at the end... You'll see

 

Life is great. It's full of surprises and excitment... I love it.