creating sexual tension?

[mcx69]

Not sure where to post this, but this was the best place I could think of, haha.

 

Anyway, I wanted some advice on creating sexual tension b/t myself and a girl. We're pretty good friends, but I want to try and create some tension without scaring her away. We flirt around alot, and seem to get along really well. I joke around with her, and she does the same to me. I just dont know how to get tension involved without making her feel weird. I did send her a flower for valentine's day. I wrote out a humorous joke and and tried to get accross the point that I like her more than a friend. After school, she smiled and said thanks for the card and flower, but she didn't mention anything else about it. She seems more interested in another card that somebody gave her (as a joke, I'm sure), and she even says that I'm the one who gave her the second 'mystery' card, when it actually wasn't. But any ideas that I could use to build that attraction between us? I don't want to do it all of a sudden, because she would see that as trying too hard. But are there little things I could do to start out with? I've done stuff like touching her arm and shoulder to get her attention, but most of the time we sit accross the table from each other, so casually touching is kinda out of the question.

[Kiwi_Sweet]

If she is being distant than she's probably not interested. You shouldn't put her in an awkward position. That's no fun.

[mcx69]

I don't think she is being distant. Well, not that I can tell anyway. She seems to enjoy talking with me and whatnot. When ever we're talking during class or lunch she'll always lean closer and stuff. From what I've read thats a good sign. Last night on the computer she kept talking about the other card she got, and she kept asking if it was me that sent gave it to her. After reassuring her that it wasnt, she wanted me to find out who it was. I kept trying to talk about my card, and she said it was funny and that she liked it, and she wasn't expecting any flowers at all. She said initially she had thought I sent the flower and card, and she couldnt focus on her test. (We were taking a test when the cards were delivered, and she didnt read it until she was done.) I told her I wanted to surprise her with it, and she said it was definitely a surprise to her. I'm not sure how to take that. Could she really have liked it and gotten my message, or is she trying to say thanks for the flower and let it blow over? She is really interested in the other card, and for the longest time she thought I had given it to her. It almost sounded like she wanted it to be from me, but I dont know. After I told her it wasnt me, she went on th explain she laughed while she was reading the other card and that it was really weird and stuff.

[Kiwi_Sweet]

Well than keep on trying..You'll get somewhere with her eventually...Just don't do anything weird...

[mcx69]

Lol, yea thats what I plan on doing. Thats why I asked about the tension and how to create some. I'm just trying to figure her out still. She's giving all kinds of mixed signals. But then again, I cant read them anyways, haha.

[watupgangsta]

it sounds like you are in danger of being just a friend, someone she knows likes her but she doesn't have to do anything about. from my experience, theres a good chance you'll continue talking and hanging out all the time, and then one day you find out shes hooking up with another guy. you'll be pissed off and won't want to admit it. honestly, i think you should either just tell her straight up you should be together and if not you guys should stop hanging out, or distance yourself a bit.

 

edit: that is of course, unless, you think you're cool being friends with her and not expecting a physical relationship.

[mcx69]

Well, thats what I'm afraid of too. And this other card she got was definitely a joke. It is talking about being super obsessed with her and sounds pretty much like she is being stalked. And we dont hang out alot, so its not like we're buddies and whatnot. I'm gonna talk to her about it and let her know what I wanted to tell her in my card. She has been talking alot about prom dresses lately, and I'm pretty sure she doesnt have a date yet, so I think I'm gonna ask her to go pretty soon. If that doesnt get the message accross, I dont know what else will lol. And I dont want to run that risk of losing her as a friend if I tell her out right that I like her. But maybe that's a risk I may have to eventually take. But we'll see where things go from here. These last few weeks have been going ok, I'll keep trying my current plan of action lol.

[wayoverit]

Ask her to the prom AFTER MISSING IN ACTION (No Contact) for at least two weeks. This way you get yourself considered as the top dog and not as a spare backup. I think this will help her realize who you really are and what your position is.

[mcx69]

Ask her to the prom AFTER MISSING IN ACTION (No Contact) for at least two weeks. This way you get yourself considered as the top dog and not as a spare backup. I think this will help her realize who you really are and what your position is.

 

I see what you mean. But total non-contact is going to be impossible. We have like 4 classes together and I'm her lab partner in science. And if I up and leave our table at lunch everyone will know something is up and start asking questions. But maybe I can get away with not talking to her as much, not chatting online, and not flirting? But wouldnt that be weird if I just stopped all of that after starting back up again like 3 weeks ago? If I did what you suggested, then it would be like the 2nd limited-contact period we've had. Except the first time was because I was dating around with another girl for a month or two, before I realized that it wasnt for me.

[rusty_boi]

Honestly, id ask her out right away. Ive done what you are planning to do and ill have to say it never worked. Look at t this way if you ask her out now and she says yes then great, if she says no then at least ure not persuing something that u will never get. It may be hard but "No Sarafice, No Victory" as the transformers movie says.

[roxursox]

Just ask her to go do something with you. You don't have to preface it as a date, but make sure you go by yourselves. All you have to say is "Hey do you wanna go _______ with me sometime?"

Its open ended and easy to recover from. If she digs you it will go from there.

[ryan250]

Beware of the friend zone buddy. Once you're in, you ain't eva commin back!!!!

[chrias]

All you have to say is "Hey do you wanna go _______ with me sometime?"

 

That's not the approach I would take. What I would do is call her up and ask, "What are you doing right now?" You catch her off guard so she can't really come up with an excuse. When she asks why you tell her that you're going shopping and you need her opinion or whatever other task you want to do and that it's going to be fun.

 

If she has a legitimate excuse to not join you just end the conversation quickly and pretend that you have to go do whatever you have to do even though you're not doing anything.

 

When you use the term 'sometime' you're setting yourself up for rejection and for her to flake out.