Does this guy appear confident or arrogant or actually both?

[RedPenguin]

I'm just curious about something.

 

Does a guy who ignores most women look confident or arrogant or both?

 

For example, for the longest time, it's like I tried to paid a lot of attention to women and basically acted interested, but constantly I either ended up with girls that had boyfriends or who turned me down.

 

Now and more often than ever, I'm just living my life, basically not giving a s*** about women now. Instead of acting like all of the other guys who keep checking out the "hott" women or women they are attracted to, I just basically have been acting like, who the heck cares? I've been focusing on my college study and what matters in my life, instead of what matters to them or trying to impress any girl.

 

I actually feel wonderful, when I just say, who gives a s***, don't try to impress anyone, don't let any girl make me go gaa-gaa-goo-goo, but I'm a little curious, does a guy who acts like this look arrogant or actually confident? I'm a little curious, because I noticed that when I let my self go, and try for the women, they never seem to like it, but when I get this, "who gives a s*** attitude" it's actually as if I'm paid more attention to, and actually, all the times, that I ever had a girl just come over and talk to me, was when I had this, "who the heck cares?" attitude. LoL.

 

I may be wrong, but it's as if people actually are attracted, when you could give a s*** about them. LoL. I don't mean, swear at them and stuff, I just mean, don't treat them as if they are so important because you find them attractive.

 

EDIT: Also, why does human nature seem to make you want to pay attention to someone you're attracted to, but yet, when you just don't give a s***, it just feels so good? Like I said, when I don't pay attention to the women or care what they or anyone else thinks, I feel on top of the world almost. I don't mean, I feel better than anyone else, but I don't ever get depressed or anything like that. I literally feel like, "I'm who I am, and if you don't like me, who the heck cares?" LoL.

 

EDIT #2: Is this actually an attitude that most people don't have? Most of my friends, when around "attractive" women, are like, "Man, I hope she likes me" or "I hope she doesn't mind that I do this or that", so basically they always seem like they feel they had to meet her standards or impress her, but even though I used to do that, I feel like, why should I try to impress her? If she doesn't like who I am, I'm not changing my self, nor am I going to be depressed, if she says screw you.

[Konfetkette]

If a guy is ignoring me I think I'm not his type.

 

If he's too into me I think he should get a life.

 

thereforeee, making innocent small talk is the best first impression.

[Weeblie]

Does a guy who ignores most women look confident or arrogant or both?

 

I don't know. I guess it depends on if I'm trying to get his attention or not. If he's ignoring me, then he'll come accross as arrogant and ill-mannered. If I don't even notice him, then, well, I just don't care if he's confident or not.

[JeffLove]

Just be yourself. You are who you are and also what you're feeling. If you're feeling like a jerk, be a jerk.

 

Remember, there is a huge difference between arrogance and confidence. Confidence is holding yourself high, speaking with a clear, loud voice and making eye contact.

[Syren]

I don't expect a guy to notice me as I'm no Heidi Klum so if he's not noticing me, I'm probably just not his type.

 

I'm the same way too. I've become too jaded with relationships that I've given up all together. I may see a good looking guy and say "wow, he's good looking" but I'm not going to get myself worked up over it. I have far more better things to fantasize about.

[RedPenguin]

If a guy is ignoring me I think I'm not his type.

 

If he's too into me I think he should get a life.

 

thereforeee, making innocent small talk is the best first impression.

 

When I say ignore, I don't mean 100% ignore, like who are you and who do you think you are? Not that kind of ignore.

 

I mainly mean that, I don't care anymore to ever impress a woman or feel that I need to impress a woman. Also, if she doesn't end up liking me, I don't feel it should ever really bother me nor should I really care.

[Konfetkette]

I've seen your threads RedPenguin, I think you are always overthinking these things. Just stop worrying.

[Maya_A]

I get what you mean by 'ignoring'. Not being aloof or actively specifically avoiding but just going about your own life. Focusing on your own things of interest, & not being particularly over concerned about interacting with women.

 

Well, you may not realize it but you have been mastering what Buddhism & other have been teaching forever... Detachment.

 

The idea is that "in order to successfully attract something, you must be detached to the outcome. If you are attached, you project negative emotions of fear, doubt, or craving which actually attracts the opposite of your desire.

It is suggested that once one lets go of emotional attachment to the thing, that is the moment it can come to them. The idea is that anything can be acquired via detachment to wants or outcomes.

 

So in your attitude of just going about your own business in a neutral way without attached emotions related to meeting women, you seem a living example of how this "law of detachment" works!

 

Hey, if it is working well for you, keep doing what you are doing. This (true detachment) can be a tough one to do - I'm trying at this one extremely hard right now & it's so difficult. If you've got it right, congratulations & don't stop

 

Good luck...

[blueyes85]

if a guy ignores me it doesn't come accross as confident OR arrogant....i just assume he's not interested

 

probably not the best way to go if you're trying to catch someone's eye.

[RedPenguin]

I've seen your threads RedPenguin, I think you are always overthinking these things. Just stop worrying.

 

I'm not trying to really overthink, but I was just surprised how good it felt to just be deatched and not give a s*** what anyone thinks. I can't believe how good it feels.

 

I don't mean to sound disrespectful to women or anything but I'm sick of running in to girls with bfs and girls just turning me down, and I have college, and going 5 days a week, it's way too hard to think of women in the first place, LoL.

[jammin_james61]

Either way, it's better than coming off as desperate.

 

No matter what most women say, they seem to be attracted to arrogant (just a more nasty word for confident) guys.

[tmp0620]

I ignore the girls that I'm interested in...

 

There's a beautiful girl in my art history class that I sat right next to one day... I swear she kept looking over at me to get my attention, but I couldn't bring myself to do anything...

 

I feel like Chris Farley when he did his SNL interviews.... so stupid... idiot....

[amure]

i think it all depends on how you approche the situation. if there going out of there way to be nice and you have the "GET ****** " attitude, then ofcourse most girls wont find it attractive at all.

 

i suppose thats what they mean by being "cool" with everything. If you dont give a crap that they dont like you, and you give that impression then yeah it works XD

 

good luck

[RedPenguin]

Either way, it's better than coming off as desperate.

 

No matter what most women say, they seem to be attracted to arrogant (just a more nasty word for confident) guys.

 

I always heard the word arrogant for confident.

 

It may be considered wrong to ignore women or not flourish them with attention, but I feel more like a man and happier person, when I don't have to worry what people, especially women think about me.

 

Now I do worry somewhat, like I don't go anywhere looking like a completely unfashionable idiot or something, but if they don't like this or that about me, who the heck cares?

 

This is basically what I meant to basically say in the whole post.

 

Anyway, I still agree with you. It has been stated on this forum before, that women go after what they can't have, and if you act like you don't want them or care about them, I would that would be, something they can't have.

[RedPenguin]

i think it all depends on how you approche the situation. if there going out of there way to be nice and you have the "GET ****** " attitude, then ofcourse most girls wont find it attractive at all.

 

i suppose thats what they mean by being "cool" with everything. If you dont give a crap that they dont like you, and you give that impression then yeah it works XD

 

good luck

 

Yes, I feel this is true. I guess part of the reason, I partly ignore women, is that I'm so sick and tired of just running in to ones that just turn me down or actually way more often already are taken. After running in to 5 taken girls in a row, you kinda get tired. At least I think.

[ghost69]

5 girls and you are through? look man. you have to try. ignore them, you think they will be attracted? good luck with that idea.

 

but you don't have to be so into them you look eager. my attitude is i don't care. you show interest, i'll talk you girl. if i'm interested, i'll talk to you. but i won't give my 100% attention unless she really wants to conversate and the conversation is getting more interesting and going somewhere. i do play aloof at times. but i don't ignore. that is just nuts.

[RedPenguin]

5 girls and you are through? look man. you have to try. ignore them, you think they will be attracted? good luck with that idea.

 

but you don't have to be so into them you look eager. my attitude is i don't care. you show interest, i'll talk you girl. if i'm interested, i'll talk to you. but i won't give my 100% attention unless she really wants to conversate and the conversation is getting more interesting and going somewhere. i do play aloof at times. but i don't ignore. that is just nuts.

 

Well, I guess I didn't mean ignore in that sense. I meant I try to be like how you just said. I try not to give 100% attention unless they do actually want that kind of attention.

 

I mean I still talk to women and will continue to talk to women, but I'm sick of how I used to get all bent out of shape if they didn't like me or I felt, well I have to impress them or get them to accept me. This is what I meant. I'm just sick of how I basically always tried to get girls to like me. I just want to talk with women and see where it goes, not be like, "Oh s***, she doesn't like me."

 

My friends are like that, they basically try to impress and act as if the girl(s) they go for, if they don't like them, they're through. They also literally try to impress and smooth talk the girls, and I just don't care to do that, or do it anymore. I just want to be myself and act myself, not ever be any kind of fake or something.

 

So yes you are right, ignoring girls will not get them attracted, but also I think not acting yourself can really turn them off as well.

[ghost69]

don't ever try and impress. just talk with them. show your personality and flirt a bit. that's all you need to do. plenty of times someone will not be interested. oh well. once you meet that girl that IS interested, all this backpeddling that you complain about is nonsense.

[RedPenguin]

don't ever try and impress. just talk with them. show your personality and flirt a bit. that's all you need to do. plenty of times someone will not be interested. oh well. once you meet that girl that IS interested, all this backpeddling that you complain about is nonsense.

 

Yes, this is exactly what I meant.