Is sex everything?

[Sexydevil143]

I met this guy about a week ago and I really liked him but he had a girlfriend so I didnt think anything of it. Two days later he wanted to have sex with me and we started hooking up. I told him i wasn't going to do anything else with him if he was still with his girl and he didnt seem to care. So we hooked up a few more times and the fourth time he wanted to have sex with me and I said no and he wouldnt listen. He held my hands above my head so I couldnt grab his hands and when i got my hands loose he wouldnt get off of me. I finally got up and left. The next day he did it to me again and I started to get fed up. His girlfriend found out and dumped him. He got pissed at me and blamed it all on me. I said sorry and asked him how I could make it up to him and he said have sex with me. I said to him I wanted to because I really did like him but I dont know what I want anymore. I told him thats he bases everything thing on sex wether or not hes in a relationship with that person. He hung up on me and called me the next morning and when i picked up he hung up again. He keeps calling me but I havent answered his calls. What should I do?

[SwingFox]

Dear Sexydevil,

 

I would be VERY careful with this guy. Being in a relationship is based on having an emotional band with someone first!! Of course making love is part of a relation, but making love is expressing the emotional band you have with someone special.

 

From what I have read so far, I don't think that the basis for him is having that emotional band with you and that worries me very much. I feel that if you will make love to him, you will end up getting seriously hurt. What you need to find out, is how this guy really feels about you and then take it from there. If you are not sure, then I would advice you to wait, to avoid him hurting you bad.

 

I hope this helped... Good luck!!

 

~ SwingFox ~

[mermayd]

I would be VERY careful with this guy. Being in a relationship is based on having an emotional band with someone first!! Of course making love is part of a relation, but making love is expressing the emotional band you have with someone special.

This statement is very true and valid. This guy was unfaithful to his previous relationship and then disrespected you by forcing himself on you and being demanding! How dare he?! sex is NOT everything! As stated above, it is an expression of feelings and he doesn't seem to hold the feeilngs neccesary. He is out for one thing and one thing only and he doesn't care who he hurts in the process. Hon, you really need to get away from this guy. He sounds like trouble. Dont answer his calls or talk to him. If you feel threatened by him get a restraining order against him immediately. Don't you want to share yourself with someone you know you can trust? who will respect you? who will care about you and love you? Someone that you are not afraid of? I don't think this guy can offer you that. PLease realize this. It sounds to me like you already have realized this to a,point because you came here for help and I congratulate you for that. Another suggestion I would offer is to talk to his ex about him. so you are sure that he is not right for you. Apologize to her and tell her why you are afraid and ask her if he has ever made her afraid as well. I'm sorry, but this guy sounds like an ass and you sound like too good of a person to put up with him...

[mermayd]

Oh ya, I forgot to add...YOU are not to blame for anything that happened between he and his gf and their breakup. It was HIS decision to do so with you and his alone. You should NOT have to apologize or feel at blame for anything that he is blaming you for...that is absolutely ridiculous! He is just not man enough to admit his faults!!! It is NOT your fault! Dont even think twice about that!

[chakka]

Mermayd is absolutley right.

 

This guy is horrible. He sounds like someone who will hurt you and rape you if you give him the chance.

 

Why on earth would you want this?? Why on earth would you want to sleep with someone who has a gf anyway? and why on earth do you actually like him?

I would examine these questions. It's not at all your fault, but perhaps this attratcion is an indication of some kind of low self esteem on your part. I don't know, I'm just guessing.

 

But I am sure that anyone who behaves like you say this guy did is dangerous. Run run run from him!

 

And mermayd's advice about talking to his gf also sounds like it could be good. I don't know the people in question, of course, but the more out in the open you are about this guy's behavior, the more help you will get if he ever tries to hurt you.

 

Remember - get away from anyone who treats you badly. And ask yourself why on earth you like someone who treats you like this.