Should I get out or see what happens?

[tray25]

I have been seeing or dating this girl for about 5 weeks now and I don't feel like its getting anywhere. She has a four month old baby so I guess things are different than it would be with a girl with no kid. I don't want to sound selfish and I don't want to seem like I should get attention but there are a couple things bothering me. So I need to see if this has to do with the child or her attraction to me. We haven't had sex yet and only made out and things like that. We don't go do much because she has to work fulltime and can't get a babysitter at the drop of a hat. She just seems a little distant because she doesn't trust me. I understand because the father of the kid has run off. I like this girl but I feel like I have no chance. She has these things in her head which make her not trust me. I have seen her for a total of two hours all week. Now, what I dont understand is; Why does she not want me to come over and see her? Is it because of the child? Is it because she thinks Im going to have sex with her? Is it she wants to take things slow? The only way I could see her is if I go over there but I dont' get invited so I dont ask. Should I take things slow? I feel like there is nothing there. I may be wrong but I always thought that if she wanted to see you, she would. Im suppose to see her and take her out valentines day but I don't think its a good idea because I only have a couple hours with her. I don't like that. I guess what I am trying to say is....Is she just not into me as much as I thought? Or does the child just complicate her life and she just doesn't have time for me?

[Aleadragonhawk]

Having a baby makes things really really hard. Especially as a single parent. And working full-time? Yeah, she does have a lot of complications going on in her life right now, and she might be "into" you - but you know, for her, it's going to take some time to get into another relationship, and even if she does, there's going to be a lot of growing and learning to trust involved.

 

Are you okay with her having a kid?

[tray25]

I'm okay with the kid. At first I didn't. But now I do. The older I get the more I realize that good women are so hard to find in this screwed up society (I live in the states). But I just don't get the signals. She calls me everyday almost but also doesn't want to do physical stuff with me yet.

[kevinm]

It's going to take some time for her tray25. Re-read your own post and consider how much she has on her plate. And it sounds like this is her first child. That being the case it's going to take some for her to be comfortable as a mom. AND, at 4 months she may also have some body/intimacy issues going on. At the end of the day you're going to have to be very patient if you seek a relationship with her.

 

-Kevin

[ghost69]

you can't push a girl in this situation. you are pretty much at her mercy for time. if you want to wait around until her time is freed up, that is your call.