This Is Totally Natural, Right?

[rachel1256]

First off, I don't want to sound like the jealous, worrisome girlfriend. I just have a quick question for the guys, and girl too, who have experience in this.

 

I trust my boyfriend, and for the first year we were together, he gave me reasons to mistrust him, but for 4 years now, he hasn't given me a reason not to trust him. He leaves his phone out, etc...

 

It's natural for guys to glance at an attractive woman when she walks in, right? That's healthy isn't it? He'll look at women once in a while, but never stare (with me with him at least) or gawk.

 

We're doing a semi long distance relationship. he just emailed me he's going to a coffee shop to do his homework. There's a lot of attractive women where he lives. Can you guys just reassure me that I probably have nothing to worry about. As I said, he never looks long at a woman, ever, and he hasn't given me a reason to mistrust him as of yet.

 

Thanks =)

[havefaith]

Yes, this is natural and even healthy for a guy who has never proven himself untrustworthy. I personally think you can look at the menu without ordering.

 

HOWEVER, you're glossing over the fact that he has broken your trust before. Did he cheat on you? Because that's a completely new song and dance, if that's the case.

[melrich]

It's natural for guys to glance at an attractive woman when she walks in, right? That's healthy isn't it?

 

Yes it is natural. What about you? If a great looking guy walked passed you, you would look wouldn't you? Same for most men I suspect.

 

I don't think you should be worried about it. If he has 4 years of nothing to make you doubt him then go with your trust.

[rikka]

Four years is a long time to rebuild trust. I think you have nothing to worry about. I think it is normal for people to look at attractive people. You said he doesn't gawk or stare, just glance - no harm there.

 

Relax, everything is going to be just fine!

[rachel1256]

Thanks for the replies! I do feel better already. =)

 

He did cheat on me in the very beginning, but I was also 21 years old, he was 32, and he told me then that he didn't think we'd have a future. Now, he knows better, we've been through so much together, and he tells me all the time how much he loves me, and reassures me I'm his gal.

 

That doesn't mean he isn't doing anything behind my back, but he hasn't given me any reason to NOT trust him yet, always tells me where he's going, and answers his phone every time I call..

[enchiladaman]

There is some natural instinct in us that we can't help that says "Analyze any female that walks in the door or walks past us" Ahh nice looking...okay back to whatever I was working on or doing and don't even give her a second thought...unless I'm single.

 

Perfectly normal.

 

IN fact, I would go further and say that I give both men and women a glance when they first walk into a room. It is just a matter of getting familiar with your surroundings. Heck, I've met a lot of old friends randomly walking into a place. If you aren't aware of that you might miss out.

[Jeffrey2095]

Yeah, I agree with everyone, it would maybe be "unnatural" if he didn't look.

 

As long as he doesn't leer I think you are alright.

 

Jeff

[ghost69]

there are women everywhere you go. there are men everywhere too. i look around at everyone usually. doesn't mean a dam thing.

 

it's natural. we try and identify with knowing someone and what not.