slept with him too soon now what?

[natash24]

Hi all, I went on a date with this one guy and had a great time. he ended up making plans with me and then canceled last minute and his excuse was that he had to entertain some clients during the weekend and he didn't even call during the whole weekend.He e-mailed me three days after the canceled plans wanting to make it up to me and I told him how pissed off I was and I understand that things can come up but that he should have handled it better than he had. I also told him that my guess is he is seeing other women and that is why things are a bit ackward with the scheduling and that I am seeing other people and the balancing of mutiple dating can be hard but he had better handle things better. I agreed to go out with him one more time and we did and had an amazing night and really hit it off. I could tell he was in awe of me and very impressed. At the end of the date I went to his place and I told him I wanted to sleep with him but he said no and that I had too much to drink and he was not going to take advantage of me but then I insisted telling him that I took him as one of those bad boys ( as the plans fell through)and that I wanted to have my first fling and I found it exciting and it was fun seducing him and he ended up giving into me after a lot of hesitation.Well in the morning he was very sweet to me and I asked him if he was sleeping with other women and how was it balancing all these women at one time. Well he said he was dating some other women but that he should not be with them because he doesn't feel about them as he feels about me. I told him that I normally don't sleep with anyone unless it is exclusive and he told me whatever I want. I did not want to make things exclusive so soon because we barely know each other so we then established that if we sleep with other people we should tell each other. well he's been calling me and acting wonderful and is planning an elaborate dinner for me this evening. Sounds like he's totally falling for me. What I am wondering is can I tell him that I want to withold the sex because this is turning out to be something special? or should I not discuss it and just not have sex with him? I don't know how to approach this now that I find he is so sweet and seems to want more than just a fling. Thanks

[The Morrigan]

I'd talk to him about it - he seems like a sweet guy who's into you, I doubt it's gonna put him off if you tell him you think he's something special as well and want the next time you sleep with him to be special too. Just be honest with him, tell him you didn't know you were both going to hit it off so well, and you'd like it to mean something more next time now that he's coming to mean more as well.

[MollyElise]

well can I ask, why don't you want to sleep with him again?

 

For whatever reason it is, you will need to tell him, b/c he will probably want to be physically intimate with you (not necessarily sex, but more touching, kissing, etc than usual for a 2nd or 3rd date). You jumped the gun on this one, doesn't mean it won't work. I slept w/ my BF on our first date, and then felt very much like you, and wanted to slow down, I talked to him about it, but we still had sex the problem w/ sleeping w/ somebody too soon is it can set a precedent...

[routerx]

No offense, but you "unmade" your bed and you are the one who has to live with that, or, lie in it.

Your best bet is to say you made a mistake treating sex so casually. It was a mistake but that you really want to get to know him as a person. It doesn't say much that he wasn't a gentleman and turn you down for your offer to romp. I'm not sure how great of a guy he could be if he didn't treat you like a lady.

My opinion is that you made a mistake. Just admit to it and look forward to a great relationship with him. We learn from our mistakes, but repeating them is doom.

Good luck.

[ForAnother]

Being only a high schooler... I think that what you did isn't really the worst of things.

 

Routerx... thats a bit harsh if you ask me.

 

Ok well... he didn't handle that first thing so well... I tend to slip alot with communication cuz I am kinda forgetful. But he obviously likes you, and was honest enough to say he was "dating" or whatever other people. I think that if a guy is able to say that, he trusts you a lot...

 

I personally as a male, would prolly have lied. Then maybe told you later if we started hitting it off more... like over a period of time. So I think he is a keeper. Trust is the most important aspect of a relationship if you ask me.

 

Trying to help another.