Batya33 Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 Yes? Not sure what your response means. Link to comment
Madoc Posted February 23, 2008 Author Share Posted February 23, 2008 Yes? Not sure what your response means. Yes I would be very disapointed if I ended up meeting someone that late in life. My marriage or relationship wouldn't be successfull. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 23, 2008 Share Posted February 23, 2008 That's a very sad (and inaccurate) perspective in my opinion particularly given the higher divorce rates among 20 somethings. Link to comment
ilovepoemsalot Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 Meeting someone at 45 would still be great obviously, but at the same time no one want's to wait until then until they have a relationship, and plus it's kind of a depressing thought. I'm sure most people wouldn't be happy if you were going to tell them that their first relationship or the first time that they will be successful with a woman/man will be when they're 45. Madoc, has a woman ever acted as though she's attracted to you before? Link to comment
CrazyKing Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 I think meeting the right one at 45 is much too late if you want children, perfect would be the mid-20's... But if you don't want a family and just somebody to love... ... ...fine... Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 I think meeting the right one at 45 is much too late if you want children, perfect would be the mid-20's... But if you don't want a family and just somebody to love... ... ...fine... What's wrong with adopting? And what about people who cannot have children but want a family? Do they also have to meet "the one" in the mid-20s. You aren't saying that people who adopt don't have a family, are you? also the OP was talking about finding a partner, not about having biological children. I will add that a friend of mine who is 47 just had her first child last year. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 Meeting someone at 45 would still be great obviously, but at the same time no one want's to wait until then until they have a relationship, and plus it's kind of a depressing thought. I'm sure most people wouldn't be happy if you were going to tell them that their first relationship or the first time that they will be successful with a woman/man will be when they're 45. Madoc, has a woman ever acted as though she's attracted to you before? No one said anything about waiting till 45 to have a relationship - people can have plenty of relationships - or marriages - and yet not meet the right one for various reasons - often because they are not yet "the right one" to themselves. Link to comment
Madoc Posted February 24, 2008 Author Share Posted February 24, 2008 Madoc, has a woman ever acted as though she's attracted to you before? Yes alot of the time they show somekind of interest but most of the time they have a boyfriend or later they are no longer interested in me. Even worst I get brushed off and they seem to care at the moment. Link to comment
Madoc Posted February 24, 2008 Author Share Posted February 24, 2008 I think meeting the right one at 45 is much too late if you want children, perfect would be the mid-20's... But if you don't want a family and just somebody to love... ... ...fine... Its not that at all Iam opened to anything. If I don't succeed then the chances of me ever finding anyone to grow and develop with for the future is very slim. This is something Iv'e always wanted to experance to the fullist. Waiting that long will only result in bitterness, just imagine waiting that long to finally do it. id fell like a loser even if id probably be a millionaire by then. No one said anything about waiting till 45 to have a relationship - people can have plenty of relationships - or marriages - and yet not meet the right one for various reasons - often because they are not yet "the right one" to themselves. Its not that I feel the longer I wait the less chances ill find someone to share my life with. Everyday that passes just becoming successfull in a relationship and I have seen what happens to most people who wait awhile and normally they aren't successfull and they end up being unhappy for the rest of their days. I don't want that I want to grow and develop with my life long love. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 I would stop putting so much pressure to meet "the one" and be out there socializing, making friends, dating people you are interested in, getting involved in relationships with people who interest/intrigue you without requiring that that person be the love of your life or "the one" - you can get great relationship experience by dating people you care about and like and enjoy without it being the love to end all loves. But you have to be willing to put in the effort (lol if I could, anyone could) Link to comment
CrazyKing Posted February 24, 2008 Share Posted February 24, 2008 Its not that at all Iam opened to anything. If I don't succeed then the chances of me ever finding anyone to grow and develop with for the future is very slim. This is something Iv'e always wanted to experance to the fullist. Waiting that long will only result in bitterness, just imagine waiting that long to finally do it. id fell like a loser even if id probably be a millionaire by then. Once again we return to the "Love yourself" part... Anytime I sit in my room, playing guitar, I'm so amazed about the feeling that I may live somewhere alone in the Sahara and I won't need anything more than just water, coffee, my guitar and a tent... Getting to the level where you feel complete and amazing without someone nearby is what I want to achieve, because that's when it all starts workin', I will already have forgotten about wanting to meet the one I'm meant to be with when I meet her... Sounds fun, I thought - why don't just give it a try and act for a while like I was just a human being designed to work on myself, without that hopeless crying about not having someone, but just smiling about the future - my wife, my kids... Link to comment
Madoc Posted February 25, 2008 Author Share Posted February 25, 2008 I would stop putting so much pressure to meet "the one" and be out there socializing, making friends, dating people you are interested in, getting involved in relationships with people who interest/intrigue you without requiring that that person be the love of your life or "the one" - you can get great relationship experience by dating people you care about and like and enjoy without it being the love to end all loves. But you have to be willing to put in the effort (lol if I could, anyone could) thing iam almost never home and always out there meeting up with people on a daily basis. I meet practically new people on a weekly basis to. When i finally do meet someone I fancy it seems like it never works like I can't connect or they brush me off or they all have boyfriends. The boyfriend part iam starting to believe their are more men on this planet than there are women its ridiculious how it works, most people i know have actually "Stole" there partners from someone else. Hell it seems to work. I think I have put enough effort in I just donno where else I can improve on. Losing weight doesn't happen overnight but then again I have seen some strange looking guys with awsome G/f's so that can't be the reason I really don't know. I get alot of positive feed back from many people around me about my personalitly so its not like iam a negetive person or anything. I have overcame alot of shyness over the years. Like I said day by day the chances of meeting someone who is going to except me for being very inexperianced is going to be very slim. I don't want to put this off anylonger than it should be. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 My guess is that people can sense your negative energy/vibes. That was a huge turnoff for me when I was dating - especially when I first met someone. You can change that, if you choose to. Link to comment
Madoc Posted February 26, 2008 Author Share Posted February 26, 2008 My guess is that people can sense your negative energy/vibes. That was a huge turnoff for me when I was dating - especially when I first met someone. You can change that, if you choose to. Frustration and kind of down is more like it. It probably wouldn't make much of a diffrence anyways if I changed it. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Frustration and kind of down is more like it. It probably wouldn't make much of a diffrence anyways if I changed it. I respectfully disagree - based on tons of experience. But it is easier not to put yourself out there, that's for sure and that I well know. Link to comment
Madoc Posted February 26, 2008 Author Share Posted February 26, 2008 I respectfully disagree - based on tons of experience. But it is easier not to put yourself out there, that's for sure and that I well know. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Meaning it's easier to make excuses for not working on your self esteem, your confidence, your positive attitude, and then putting yourself out there in positive ways, in giving ways. It's easier to believe that you're not at all responsible for your "bad luck." Link to comment
Madoc Posted February 26, 2008 Author Share Posted February 26, 2008 Meaning it's easier to make excuses for not working on your self esteem, your confidence, your positive attitude, and then putting yourself out there in positive ways, in giving ways. It's easier to believe that you're not at all responsible for your "bad luck." Think about this when the decession comes down to another person to decide weither or not its gonna happen well theirs not much you can do there other than "Hope" they say Yes. Alot of things in my life I can control but this is one thing I don't have any control over it. Iam always working on myself for the better, just not getting any results after all these years. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Obviously it's not entirely in your control - was and is the same for me. What is in your control is making the decision to focus on positive energy, self-respect, self-confidence and being a giving person. And not just so people will like you or want to date you. For you. Link to comment
Madoc Posted February 26, 2008 Author Share Posted February 26, 2008 Obviously it's not entirely in your control - was and is the same for me. What is in your control is making the decision to focus on positive energy, self-respect, self-confidence and being a giving person. And not just so people will like you or want to date you. For you. So basically not becoming a Jerk? and keep doing what iam doing pretty much?.. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 So basically not becoming a Jerk? and keep doing what iam doing pretty much?.. No. Please see what I wrote above. I think it was very clear. Link to comment
CrazyKing Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Not all people with girlfriends are jerks... Link to comment
Madoc Posted February 26, 2008 Author Share Posted February 26, 2008 Not all people with girlfriends are jerks... Then what are they? I have been myself so far and it seems like the fakey A-holes who want to use women all the time endup with the girl. Link to comment
CrazyKing Posted February 27, 2008 Share Posted February 27, 2008 Then what are they? I have been myself so far and it seems like the fakey A-holes who want to use women all the time endup with the girl. Are they jerks in your your eyes because they get the girls you want??? And if all are jerks who can get a girl, then it would mean that your father was a jerk, your grandfather was a jerk, your whole family tree were jerks who didn't knew how to treat women... Link to comment
Madoc Posted February 29, 2008 Author Share Posted February 29, 2008 Are they jerks in your your eyes because they get the girls you want??? And if all are jerks who can get a girl, then it would mean that your father was a jerk, your grandfather was a jerk, your whole family tree were jerks who didn't knew how to treat women... No but it sure as hell seems that way. Its not only them but those "Playa" folks to that seem to get alot of success as well even though they are opened about using them. Iam currently reading the book "The Shy single" which is helping me alot. BTW as for my father I hope I never end up like he was. Link to comment
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